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5 Things More Appropriate for Miley Cyrus to Lick than a Sledgehammer

Dammit, I really didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon and pick on this poor girl but…if you haven’t seen Miley Cyrus’ video for “Wrecking Ball” you should, because it is hilarious. I’ll put it at the bottom for you. In short, she rides around on a wrecking ball, sometimes naked, and has an intimate relationship with a sledgehammer. The whole thing is about as subtle as a wrecking ball.

wrecking-ball-video

We get it, Miley. You’re not Hannah Montana.  But more importantly, there are SO many other things you could be licking!

 

Miley Cyrus Lick Sledgehammer

You’re missing a big marketing opportunity here, Miley. Not to mention lunch. Eat Fresh. Not hammers.


Miley Cyrus Lick Sledgehammer

While you’re trying so hard to attract a new audience, have you even considered philatelists?


Miley Cyrus Lick Sledgehammer

Your boyfriend Liam Hemsworth won’t like it, but humping Robin Thicke’s leg probably wasn’t high on his list either.


Miley Cyrus Lick Sledgehammer

No one knows the pain of being a newborn, orphaned kitten… except Miley Cyrus. See? You could be the new Sarah Mclachlan. (cue the sad puppies!) Though…you’re already pretty close to becoming the thing people jump over their sofas to turn off.


Miley Cyrus Lick Sledgehammer

BUUUUURRRRN!


 

The video:

Amy Vansant

Voted Funniest Non-Mommy Blog by a Bunch of Moms I Got Really Drunk.Amy has been finding creative ways to make no money since high school.

12 Responses

  1. Stephanie

    Best commentary on the Miley shit show!!! I freaking lol’d my butt off at every single one. Your photoshop skills are OFF THE HOOK!! Hahahahahaha

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  2. Tammy R

    Oh Amy, this one really got me. I rarely cry when laughing, but I just had to swipe a couple off my face. The fact that you added “newborn” to “orphaned” really got me here. That, paired with the Sarah McLaughlin follow up just put me over the edge. Oh. I can’t take it!!! Too funny!
    Tammy R recently posted..Knowing When It’s Time to Move

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  3. Tressa

    Who was that odd actress who was on display in a NY museum sleeping in a glass box? When her box is empty, Miley should just start crawling into it and banging whatever/whoever is around and get it over with already.

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  4. Marie Shanahan

    Ha!!!! LOL!!!! :) I laughed my HEAD OFF reading this. :) I like the last one, the block of ice. That has GOT TO BE a funny Christmas Card this year to discourage young girls from growing up to behave like a frigging screwball.

    I hope she grows out of this. That poor kid. God be with her.

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