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Awesome Dating Tips from 1938

Some awesome dating tips via Bored Panda who borrowed it from Retronaut who apparently got it from BuzzFeed who probably found it in their grandmother’s closet. That woman never got lipstick on a man’s handkerchief, bless her little browbeaten heart.

Comments by me. Photos and original captions by some misogynistic ballscratcher.

Remember, even if he bores you to tears, it’s better than sitting at home chewing your gum with your mouth open.

See, I always used to meet my dates with a plate of bear jerky and a flaming case of syphilis. A smile makes so much more sense.

But what if you use their handkerchief to make a cute hand puppet? Do they like it then? I’m pretty sure they like it then.

And when a man walks, he wants to walk. And when a man eats, he wants to eat. But when a man poops, he wants to read the paper. That’s a tricky one.

Have you seen my nipples? Neat, huh? BOING! *maniacal laughter* BOING!

Is this a cold sore? You sonovabitch, DID YOU GIVE ME MOUTH HERPES??

Hold still, you have potatoes in your ear…. Oh, nope! It’s a QUARTER! TA-DA!

“Betty, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure this water glass is actual filled with human tears. I hate this place.”

I never realized transmission fluid was so fascinating! Tell me more.

I’m cool with the other tips, but they lost me on this one.

Is it me, or is this girl just a bit of a tramp?

See, there she goes again. Trollop.

Hooray! See? I told you the rufies would work! That’ll be $20 – sure, I’ll take a check.

Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant

Author Amy Vansant enjoys long walks on the beach, anything to do with her Labradoodle Gordon and frantically getting nothing useful done.
Amy Vansant

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