Dragon Doodle: The Cuddliest Dragon of All
My friend Kara house-sat while we were away in D.C. in order to catch up on the Game of Thrones episodes we’d taped for her. And yes, I say “taped” instead of “dvrrd” or “recorded” because it has less syllables and I’m hella old.
I’ll go get something to eat out of the ice box (which has less syllables than “refrigerator”) while you deal with that.
Anyway, Kara left us a chalk drawing on our kitchen chalkboard contact paper of our Labradoodle, Gordon, as a Dragon Doodle. A Dragon Doodle is a rare, fire breathing dragon known for its cuddliness and inability to survive in the wild for even 10 minutes. In her art, Kara has Gordon dreaming about Daenerys Targaryen and renamed his “food” and “water” to “water” and “fire.”
Gordon didn’t seem to mind, though I know for a fact he’s more of an Amy Pohler guy than a Daenerys Targaryen man. I can tell by the way he would not shut up about how sad he was about her divorce from Will Arnett. He prefers women who are not followed around by scary dragons. Though Daenerys’ penchant for doing it doggy style did briefly pique his interest.
Since his nickname is “Monkey,” Gordon also has a bit of a crush on ventriloquist Nina Conti from HBO’s Family Tree, though after every episode he’s disappointed to see no one has raised a leg on a tree. Every week it’s “but no one even lifted a leg!” or “there wasn’t even a tree in that episode!” and I start to think he’s not as smart as I thought. Then he’ll mumble “the humor in this show is delightful, if a bit uneven” and I realize I might have been too hard on him. He is a dog after all.
I could get into how he dislikes Sarah McLachlan because he thinks she has a show about making dogs very sad, but really, a detailed account of his love life, likes and dislikes could take all day.
Weren’t we talking about a Dragon Doodle?
If you’d like me to turn a photo of your dog (or cat, or hamster) into a LabraDragon, or a DoxieDragon or a BichonFriseasaur, you can also order that. I just need a picture of your dog standing like Gordon is below (and fairly high-res) and I’ll give him or her the wings/smoke/fire/reptilian brain and turn it into a t-shirt for you.
Available in plain and “Dragon Doodle Dungeon Style.”