Happy Independence Day!
Looks like I’ll be declaring my independence from sobriety. I don’t want to look like an idiot drinking from the 4th of July Svedka bottle on July 5th. How gouche.
I wonder if Independence Day with Will Smith is on today.
Just kidding, of course it is.
And for the parents who sneak here when no one is looking, I’ve written a joke for the kiddies.
“Why do you we cook on a barbecue instead of an oven on the 4th of July?”
(here’s where you say “Why?” I’ll just assume you did.)
“Because FIRE WORKS!”
No, I haven’t started drinking, yet. Why do you ask?