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12 Disturbing Scenes from Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA

Below, I have the honor of reprinting Raymond Walsh’s hilarious observations on Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA.

Man on the Lam is not your every day travel web site – thanks to Raymond’s talent for scoping out oddities overlooked by mainstream travel sites.  This Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA piece is just a small example of how much fun his site is. Depriving yourself of Raymond’s site is like having the centers licked out of your Oreos by rabid anteaters before you eat them. Go there now and follow him. Here’s how:

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And now… Enjoy 12 Disturbing Scenes from Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA!

Legoland Florida's Miniland USA

Charlie Chaplin once said, “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”

That may be true of the movies, but the reverse is the case at Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA. According to the Fun Facts posted around the park, over 100 Master Builders from North America, Europe, and Asia worked for two years to complete the Miniland USA attraction at Florida’s newest theme park. Thankfully some of those builders had a pretty good, and sometimes twisted, sense of humour.

Check out some of their curious creations below.

1. The Suspicious Ice Cream Truck

Legoland Florida's Miniland USA

I Scream, U Scream, but notice how this truck mentions nothing about ice cream? Nice touch with the child running away and the police officer approaching though.

2. The Heimlich Maneuver – Lego-style

Legoland Florida's Miniland USA

A Lego artisan’s rendering of a sidewalk café date gone horribly wrong gets big points for storytelling: knocked over plants, abdominal thrust, right down to the expelled object. Sadly, I think it’s a just a croissant.  That’s too bad — the irony of a Lego choking on a small child would have been sublime.

3. Crazy Cat Lady

Legoland Florida's Miniland USA

So just how many cats do you need before you’re considered a crazy cat lady? Fifteen according to the folks at Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA. Plenty of curlers helps too.

4. Lego Man vs. Lego Shark

Lego shark and man floating in ocean, Miniland USA, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

Life’s got you over a barrel, and just when you thought things can’t get worse, there’s a shark that spots your Lego-y legs. Nice.

5.The Public Hanging

An old-fashioned public hanging -- Lego style. Miniland USA, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

I’m sure many parents wanted to do this to themselves after having to spend the entire day at Legoland Florida’s Miniland USA surrounded by screaming kids.

6. Walking the Plank

lego pirates of the caribbean ship, Lego Pirate ship, Man walking the plank, Miniland USA, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

They don’t take too kindly to pirates at Legoland. Although what appears to be Lego WaterWings are markedly improving this guy’s chances of ending up in a watery grave.

7. You’ve Got Crabs

lego beach, lego men on beach, Killer crab attacking man on beach, closeup photo, minifigure, Miniland USA, Legoland Florida,

That’s what you get for wearing a Speedo.

8. The Hot Firemen

lego firetruck, lego fireman, Beefy shirtless Firemen in a field, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

“Mom, can I get the Beefy Shirtless Firemen Party Lego set for Christmas this year?”

9. Lego Stickman

lego ladies, lego chivalry, Old-fashioned stick man and ladies, Miniland USA, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

Is he bowing for the ladies, or the gentleman behind him? Hmmm…

10. The Lego Wedding

lego love, lego wedding, lego band, Midget marrying a couple, Miniland USA, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

Nothing says love like a wedding ceremony performed by a dwarf.

11. The Fountain of Youth

The Fountain of Youth, St. Augustine Florida, Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

Just up the road from Legoland Florida is the town of St. Augustine, former haunt of Ponce de León and home of his supposed discovery – the Fountain of Youth, now an Archaeological Park. Let’s hope Poncey would have been proud of Lego’s interpretation with the elderly making their way to the fountain of youth, shedding their clothes, and ending up all Benjamin Button on the grass.

12. The Suspicious Ice Cream Truck – Part 2

Ice cream truck in NYC, ice cream van, lego police car, lego truck,  Legoland Florida, Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event

Take 2 of the I Scream, U Scream saga takes part outside a, ahem,  “Forever 12” store. Really? At the least the cops are close at hand here too.

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