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My Bother-in-Law and Moral Ambiguity

No country for old men

Or as my bother-in-law likes to call it, “Happy fun time guy meets new friends with a bolt pistol.”

My bother-in-law, Gary, called the other night to describe a movie he couldn’t remember to my husband (his brother) Mike. Mike couldn’t figure out what he was talking about, so he handed me the phone.

Me: You’re trying to remember the name of a movie?

Gary: Yeah. So, it was like 4-5 years ago. There’s this guy, he’s in prison I think, and then he gets out and starts killing all these people. And he’s got a flame thrower.

Me: A flame thrower?

Gary: Yeah, and he just starts killing all these people.

Me: With a flame thrower? Seems like a conspicuous way to kill people. I’m not a detective or anything, but…

Gary: I don’t think he always uses it.

Me: Is he like a bad guy or a good guy seeking vengeance on the bad guys who killed his family or something?

Gary: I don’t know… I couldn’t decide if I liked him or not.

Me: Wait… not a flamethrower… you mean like a pneumatic bolt shooter thingy? Are you thinking No Country for Old Men? The ‘friendo’ dude?

Gary: YES! That’s it! Thank you!

Me:  Wait, you couldn’t decide if you liked him?

Gary: Yeah.

Me: He was psychotic killer who killed everyone in the movie, including innocent people not involved in the plot at all.

Gary: Yeah that guy.

Me: He flipped a coin to decide whether he’d kill a random convenience store clerk.

Gary: (getting excited) Yeah, yeah!

Me: AND YOU COULDN’T DECIDE IF HE WAS A GOOD GUY OR A BAD GUY?

Gary:

Me:

Gary: Anyway, cool, thanks!

(he hangs up)

Me: (to Mike) Your brother couldn’t decide if the psycho in No Country for Old Men was a good guy or a bad guy.

Mike: Hmm.

Me: He’s not allowed to watch the dog anymore.

Mike: Fair enough.

 

PS: Getting this question a lot – “Bother-in-law” is on purpose, not a typo. :)

Amy Vansant

Voted Funniest Non-Mommy Blog by a Bunch of Moms I Got Really Drunk.Amy has been finding creative ways to make no money since high school.

16 Responses

  1. Maggi

    Good call on the dog-sitting. Sorry to say that I know people like that…they are not allowed to watch my cats.

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  2. Lance

    Hahahaha. Our lives are so parallel

    about a year ago:

    my sister in law (she’s blonde): what was that thing you wrote?

    me: I write lots of things.

    her: about people who are weird and they’re weird.

    me: that’s everything i write.

    her: the girl’s gay and the boy’s dumb like you.

    me: right now it’s called crazy robot stories.

    her: yeah, well i read it.
    Lance recently posted..I Want You Around

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