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Redneck Milk Punch

I’ve invented this thing I’m calling “Redneck Milk Punch.”

I call it that because I use some pretty common ingredients of which the fancier Southern ladies would not approve, and because every time I use the word “redneck” someone has a hissy fit in my comments, which is fun for me, because I’m related to rednecks who get insulted if they aren’t the “NECKIEST” person in their neighborhood.

Anyway… if the idea of milk and booze together makes you green, you might want to turn back now.

The first time I ever had milk punch it was a pretty fancy affair; there were polo ponies and people in crushed felt jackets and women doing their best Blanche DuBois imitations. Milk Punch is a southern tradition; milk and bourbon, with a little sugar thrown in to cut the bite.  The drink was served to me in silver mugs. Very hoity-toity.

Then, yesterday, I had this idea. I mixed fat free milk with spiced rum (Sailor Jerry, to be exact) and then added about a tablespoon of Gingerbread coffee creamer I’d bought to celebrate fall. I sprinkled a little cinnamon on top.

WOW. GOOD! Boozy, creamy low-cal-ish and flavorful.

Redneck Milk Punch is a milkshake with attitude.

I’m sure the proper Southern Ladies would rather die than put coffee creamer in their milk punch, but it is damn tasty. I’ve also tried it with bourbon, with pumpkin-flavored coffee creamer and with eggnog creamer – all fantastic.

If Coffee-mate would like to get hold of me, to reward me for my ingenuity with their product, I’m available.

In the meantime, go get some coffee creamer in the fall flavor of your choice, mix it with a bunch of fat free milk and rum, whiskey, or bourbon!

Amy Vansant

Voted Funniest Non-Mommy Blog by a Bunch of Moms I Got Really Drunk.Amy has been finding creative ways to make no money since high school.

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23 Responses

  1. Abby

    I don’t drink cow’s milk or sweet things like flavored creamer, but if you sub in cider for those and add a cinnamon stick with the rum, I’m there. Or better yet, just sub in vodka and a little lime juice.

    Wait…that’s nothing like what you suggested. Oh well. You can have your redneck punch. I’ll have my Vodka gimmlet and we’ll laugh and laugh…
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  2. Basia

    In Poland, we did some nifty things with milk as well, such as drinking it with garlic to get rid of a cold or a bunch of raw yeast to get ride of teenage acne (um, good one, Poland, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for me not having a boyfriend till age 19). I don’t do dairy, but I love pumpkin-flavored anything so I’d love to try a variation of this someday, maybe with almond milk – thanks!
    Basia recently posted..That time I stopped eating bacon bits for dinner.

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  3. Misty

    That sounds REALLY good!!!! We, being true rednecks, always bring cocktails with us when we ride horses. One lady we rode with brought chocolate milk and vodka!!! I couldn’t bring myself to try it since I had some perfectly good Long Island Iced Tea in my saddlebags. :)
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    • Amy Vansant

      Vodka and chocolate milk… I could do that… definitely. I grew up riding so I’d appreciate that and gladly supply the flasks!

      Oh, and I currently have all those milk punches I drank last weekend in my saddlebags too. :)
      Amy Vansant recently posted..Redneck Milk Punch

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  4. Lance

    Dude, if I came over to your house or vice versa and you DIDNT serve me this drink, I’d take my shirt off and throw a tantrum til the COPS tv show came and threw me the back of a cruiser.

    that sounds, looks, and evokes deliciousness
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  5. Angela Watts

    This is exactly what I drink most of the time. Milk plus alcohol and sometimes a squirt of chocolate syrup.

    I started with being lazy about actually making my mudslides….so I added the mix to some milk instead of crushed ice in a blender.

    Chocolate or coffee milk with vanilla vodka works well. I just bought a caramel apple liquor the other week that was yummy as well. Frangelico and amaretto are also yummy. And who can forget the lovely Godiva vodkas (as opposed to their liquors)…chocolate or chocolate raspberry.I saw a pumpkin cream liquor that would have been nice as well, but I have pumpkin spice syrup I made for my coffee so that plus vodka will have to do.

    My husband is always worrying about the alcohol+milk thing, but I’ve never had an issue and I’ve been drinking it this was for almost a decade now.
    Angela Watts recently posted..Pumpkin Spice Syrup for Lattes and Drinks

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  6. Christine

    We make something similar in a chocolate version with milk, bourbon, Kahlua, International Delight Hershey’s Chocolate Caramel coffee creamer, vanilla butternut extract and a little cinnamon thrown in the blender with some ice. Redneck adult milkshakes. Mmm… tasty.
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