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Is Your Life Becoming a Decorative Nutsack?

ball

I was standing at my kitchen sink, when I looked up and noticed this… I dunno… bondage ball? Morton’s Fisherman nutsack? hanging from the pass-through.

I have no idea what this thing is, and yet it has literally been hanging in front of my face for years.

“What the hell is this thing, anyway?” I asked Mike.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Is it a Christmas ornament we’ve inexplicably hung from the pass?”

“The pass?” Mike repeated. He sighed. “We watch too many cooking shows.”

I agreed.  “But what is this thing, ya donkey?”

Mike turned his attention back to the mystery ball. He shrugged. “I guess it’s just a decoration.”

I wanted to expound on how silly it was, but just then I couldn’t wrap my mind around why we would buy something so stupid. I was too busy wondering:

How many other things have I have become so accustom to, that I don’t even see them anymore? 

Well, sure, the dust behind the bathroom door, but what else? What about in life in general? Have I been in my current profession so long that I just can’t imagine not doing it anymore? Are we traveling enough? Should we move? Take up clogging? Are there things that could be better? Am I neglecting something?

So this weekend, if you do nothing else, ask yourself this question:

What aren’t you seeing? 

Has your life become a decorative nutsack?

Amy Vansant

Voted Funniest Non-Mommy Blog by a Bunch of Moms I Got Really Drunk.Amy has been finding creative ways to make no money since high school.

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28 Responses

  1. Timothy Sayles

    Hah! Hilarious, Amy…. I can say with absolute certainty that, in all my years, I have never once heard or read the phrase “decorative nutsack.” And, on balance, I suppose that’s a good thing.

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  2. Deb

    I. loved. this!!! Sometimes we get so complacent with our lives, our surroundings, happenings, etc., that we DO neglect the obvious. I would definitely notice the fisherman’s nutsack though… yes, for sure. ;)

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  3. Deb

    P.S. I LOVE the way you decorated your home! We rent condos in PTown that look similar to your design. LOVE!

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  4. Lance

    I’m going to go out on a weird limb and say y’all had a really alternative birthday party and the piñata was ignored after a few hits of the vodkavaoptini deal.
    Lance recently posted..Rust

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  5. cj

    I love this damn post, Amy. First, the clogging is a must. Don’t be silly.

    Tammy and I began questioning just about everything about 2008 or so and it led to our blog and a freakin’ book. We aren’t done because we do so many asinine things that need to be questioned, but we sure don’t feel as much like nutsacks as we used to.
    cj recently posted..Brilliance in Nonsense

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      • cj

        Thanks for reply, Amy. We aren’t Paleo or vegan or even vegetarian so, you may have overestimated our attention to health! And we like our drinkies to boot. Also, if you decide to put yourself through our book, you will be recognized for your great strength and willpower!
        cj recently posted..Brilliance in Nonsense

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  6. Jbhubert

    Wait! Wait!…I know this one! My mother had several of these around when I was a kid. She always said that they were used by Asian fishermen, were tied onto their fishing nets to make the net float on the surface….or at least that’s what the guy at the antique shop told her, before selling her three. (Btw, my mom never fished, and I don’t think she really ever knew many Asians, either.)
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    • Amy Vansant

      That’s what my mom said too. (And my father is a retired lobsterman, (which sounds like an f’d up superhero), so it’s probably right. Someone else said witch ball, which seems to be as well, and then the ropes sort of turn it into a bouy…
      Amy Vansant recently posted..How to Make a Vine Video

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  7. Tammy R

    Amy, I think this is a beautiful message and profound question. Really, what are we missing? I know we will be pondering this on our weekend because we love talking about things like this on our walks.

    Oh, and we have to glass “somethings” hanging in our guest room. Why? There were eight or ten small hooks in the ceiling in the picture window when we bought the place. We just decided to buy things to fill them up instead of leaving them or pulling them out, filling them in, and painting. If you want, we can send them to you,so your nutsack has friends.
    Tammy R recently posted..Brilliance in Nonsense

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  8. Cristina Sierra

    Amy, I get it but as someone who lives like a spartan with minimal clutter, I’ll share the downside: living in the South, anytime someone walks into my “minimalist” abode, they’re first comment is “so, did you just move in?” (this is after living here for 7 years)…
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  9. Cheryl

    There’s plenty I’m not seeing, but at my house that’s usually a good thing, because instead of decorative nutsacks, I have wads of electrical cords and cat hair.
    Cheryl recently posted..celebration with an asterisk

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  10. DJ

    I always have a goal to have a new area re-organized and tidied before the cleaning person comes the next time (which actually turns out to happen about every third time, but hey, any progress is progress). Sometimes I find myself wondering, “Hey, there’s a shelf here? And who the heck stuck all this crap on it? Where did this stuff come from?”

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  11. Damien

    I actually walked around my flat after reading this post and realized that I hang clothing high up now. By ‘clothing,’ I mean towels, shirts, shorts, blankets, and trousers I mean to use again soon.

    I have a cat who must suffer from stress-related Alopecia, because if you so much as look at her wrong, a whole batch of fur comes flying off. My flat is covered in cat fur!

    So I guess I have gotten used to throwing a T-shirt or towel over top a door,instead of on the back of a chair or on my bed. So if you ever come visit, bring a pack of Swiffer cloths! And bourbon.
    Damien recently posted..My Running Playlist and a Lady Named Bertha

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