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Thank You for a Calling Aruba

Joran Van der Sloot (L) of the Netherlands is escorted by  Peruvian police officers at the police headquarters in Lima June 5,  2010. Chile on Friday deported to Peru Van der Sloot who is wanted for  the murder of 21-year-old Stephany Flores in Lima and has been linked to  the 2005 disappearance of an American teenage girl in Aruba.  REUTERS/Mariana Bazo (PERU - Tags: CRIME LAW POLITICS)*BEEP!*

Thank you for calling Aruba.

If you are calling for tourist information, please, please, please press 1.

If you would like more information on how you can be killed on our island and then have us conduct your murder investigation like our heads are firmly planted in our asses, please press 2.

If you are a psychopath wishing to reach your rich, powerful family in order to avoid a second murder charge, please press 3.

If you are calling to tell us our entire government should be hung at dawn for setting Joran van der Sloot free after the first murder, please press 4.

(Pressing 4)

We’re sorry. Mailbox full. Please call again.

Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant

Author Amy Vansant enjoys long walks on the beach, anything to do with her Labradoodle Gordon and frantically getting nothing useful done.
Amy Vansant

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