Email This Post HomeHumorDog Humor3 Dog Night – And a Mega-Giveaway! Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 Dog Humor, Humor, Kritters 31 Comments I’ve known for months that I’d be babysitting my brother’s new doodle, Lucy, while he took the family on vacation. What I didn’t know, was that my “bother-in-law” would suddenly have his job move to California, and he’d need someone to watch his dog, Brock, too. Do you think I should have this dog head-shaped wart removed from my knee? I was pretty excited about watching three dogs! Until it actually happened. First, space is at a premium. —> (We don’t live in an abandoned haunted mansion–those are sheets to keep Brock’s fur from poking into the furniture.) Everyone is always looking for food. Yet when you try to feed them, nobody does what they’re supposed to. Gordon (my baby, the big dark galoot) only wants to eat Lucy’s food (strawberry blond puff ball). Lucy, only wants to eat Gordon’s food. And Brock wants to eat everyone’s food. Sleeping is impossible. Last night we had three dogs and two people in the bed. For about ten minutes. Then Mike moved to the spare room, where he said he felt an icy presence brush his hand. “Hey Whitey, put that tongue back in your mouth. She’s clearly here to feed ME.” “And you didn’t come running back to the bedroom?” I asked. “I’d rather sleep with a ghost than three dogs.” It didn’t help that Gordon had something stuck in his throat and had been hacking directly into his face. There’s always one wise guy. All three dogs were excited to go out this morning. Yet when I opened the door, two shot out and Gordon stayed on the threshold. That made going out less attractive to the other two, who scurried back in. As soon as they were in, Gordon walked out. There is a lot of staring. Oh, the staring. So much staring. You’re petting one of the dogs? The other two will stare and then climb over each other to be sure you notice they could use a scratch as well. Staring at the door to go out. Staring at the door to come in. Staring at anyone dumb enough to be in the kitchen near the food. Staring at the bed they’re not sure they can jump into because, A. they’re small and B. there’s another dog positioned strategically in the “landing zone” to keep other dogs from hopping up and being close to the people with the nice scratching fingers. You have to be an Olympic athlete to move from one room to the next without tripping and killing yourself. I feel like celebrity, because both the smaller dogs like to be near me when I walk and escort me wherever I go. And by near, I mean they like to pretend they’re my feet. Every time I move from one room to another, Lucy shadows me, and her soft fur feels like someone is stroking my calf with a giant cotton ball with each step. Which isn’t all that bad, really. So when you’re enjoying your personal space today, be sure to think of me! 🙂 And now for the big giveaway…! Win Up To 24 Mystery Novels Featuring Your Favorite Women Sleuths! (2) Grand Prize Kindle “Gift Baskets” of ALL 24 eBooks! (19) Winners of Individual eBooks (randomly selected titles) Plus a special bonus chance to win! Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Nxt - August 13, 2020 Vegetable *Whatever* Soup – Giveaways and Book Steals and Deals - August 11, 2020 New Book on PreOrder, Giveaways and Deals (Win Kindles) - July 29, 2020 31 Responses Christine Lowe August 9, 2016 I enjoyed your post and believe me when I say I feel ya sister. My husband and I have always had dogs. The hubby soon learned I was never satisfied with just one. Our first dog was a cute Doberman puppy. I knew this was my dog when he threw himself in my lap and looked at me with those adoring puppy dog eyes. Fast forward many years and many dogs later and our two dog family (a dobie and a dobie look a like wild girl) became three when a friend could no longer care for her dog. We (read me) honored my friend’s request and Prince, the 180 pound Mastiff, came to live with us. If you ever doubt your husband’s commitment, try bringing 180 pounds of slobbering, shedding dog into the family. I can’t imagine life without the Mastiff now. I wonder if the hubby would notice a second mastiff in the house? 3 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 Wow – Mike’s head would explode if I brought home a Mastiff! Good for you and your lovely and patient husband! 1 likes Reply Barbara VW August 12, 2016 I have had multiple dogs and what you see is what you get in behavior. It’s just not because they are missing their alpha(s). Your dog doesn’t know what he wants, except for the monsters (in size) to leave. Then it will be only 3. My Chihuahua (as a puppy 8 weeks, maybe) wouldn’t eat her puppy food. She would walk over the large lined up food bowls and try to eat a very large (to her) piece of food. 0 likes Catherine McDonald August 9, 2016 I had to laugh with you. I also started out watching one dog and then the kids moved back in with two more. They’re American bulldogs and they’re not small. My king-sized bed is too small for all of us. It’s 114 degrees during the day and 80 at night. Lots of rain and heat. Three wet dogs. Not fun. Sympathize with you. Good luck sweety. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 Been lucky with the rain so far, but with one dog or another on me all night, it was like having hot flashes! 0 likes Reply Sheila Gordon August 9, 2016 Amy, I have the same problem. My daughter and grand son moved in with their cats. My couches look like yours. Everything covered with sheets and my stairs covered with tape so they can’t rip my carpeting to shreds. They also want their tummy scratched all the time. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 Bother-in-law Gary had a cat to relocate too, but I’m allergic and dodged that bullet! 0 likes Reply rosemary August 9, 2016 wow 0 likes Reply Jackie Ford August 9, 2016 I hear ya we had 4 kids, two Newfoundland dogs and a husky all at the same time fun times lol 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 We get a niece and her friend from the Naval Academy this weekend, so our house has definitely moved from quiet as a church to chaos. I’m sure she’ll make me pancakes though, so it’s all worth it. 🙂 1 likes Reply Jackie Weger August 9, 2016 So funny. Love the sheets! I use ’em too. I’ve now a shower curtain for a window curtain since the cats shredded the fabric drapes to climb topside the rods and survey their kingdom. I’ve already sent two sofas to the burn pile…I live in a dog house and a cat house~which is not the same as a whorehouse. Tweeted and shared the giveaway. 2 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 A double thank goodness we didn’t get the cat too! Thank you for the sharing! 0 likes Reply Terri Rinko August 9, 2016 I’ve never had a pet and feel deprived! So much fun and companionship I have missed out on! Maybe someday when situations change. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 Highly recommend! (though maybe not three – not right off the bat, anyway. 🙂 ) 0 likes Reply Joanne Kocourek August 9, 2016 Love this post, Amy. We have 3 Goldens (4 until 2 weeks ago) and often have dog blankets, etc. Yet, I can’t imagine life without them. Fortunately ours are all superbly trained service dogs and that alone more than compensates fot all of the Golden fur. Our furniture is covered with comforters. 1 likes Reply Gina Smith August 9, 2016 This is so funny. I really enjoyed reading it. That many dogs all at once would be a shock. We have 4 dogs and have had as many as 5. But ours came in gradually. I didn’t have animals until I was an adult and now I couldn’t be without them. Mine are all rescues and several of them came with separation anxiety and it helps for them to have each other when we leave. 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 9, 2016 I always thought if I was alone I’d end up adopting everything I spotted! Turns out it is a LOT of personalities to juggle! I’m sure I could get used to it though. 🙂 0 likes Reply David Wind August 9, 2016 Amy, plain and simple, I’M WITH MIKE ON THIS! 1 likes Reply Suzanne Walker August 9, 2016 I haven’t had any personal space since I had my daughter 30 years ago. I have always had pets and they love to follow me everywhere. I can’t take my dog anywhere except just to ride because she always has to get out of the car with me (a shepherd/lab mix means she is big enough to get her way). I kid the zoo that if they trip me on the stairs they will be living without me – doesn’t seem to matter. But aren’t they wonderful! 2 likes Reply Nancy August 9, 2016 Have a rescue greyhound that’s over 100 lbs, very large boy!! Would luv to add more except he seems to like the solo life with no siblings!! 😢 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 10, 2016 We talked about a second dog lots of times but didn’t do it for the same reason. Gordon likes being king of the castle! 0 likes Reply Jane Geiger August 9, 2016 Amy, Loved your post! But I have a huge question?? What is personal space? I haven’t had any for so many years (albeit by personal choice!), I’ve forgotten what it’s like. My husband (who’s an animal lover, too) and I at our highest had 18 furbabies at once, along with 2 bearded dragons (Aussie lizards). And all in a ranch style house! We’re currently down to 4 dogs; a Maltese, 2 Jack Russells, a Dobie-Lab mix; and 4 cats; a long-hair tuxedo, 2 shorthair blacks, and a gray and white shorthair tuxedo. They all follow Mom and Dad around the house all the time; can’t even close the bathroom door, because they all want to be petted. It’s like an assembly line, one comes in, gets their pet, the next one comes in and the first leaves, ect. The dogs are crated at night, but all the cats sleep with us. And I always say my house doesn’t have dust bunnies, it has dust RABBITS! But I wouldn’t be without them. Gordon and Lucy are gorgeous, and Brock looks like a sweetie. Enjoy them! Jane 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 10, 2016 LOL – I know that assembly line – your’s just never ends! 🙂 0 likes Reply Teri Miller August 9, 2016 I love dogs, but the past few years have been full of cats. As many as 5 in a small apartment. That’s a lot of personalities!! I’m back down to 2, and I miss the others. 2 likes Reply Sharon Baker August 9, 2016 Have had digs mist if my life. Since my last one passed I haven’t replaced. Loosing him was so hard 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 10, 2016 Mike and I will probably curl up and die too when Gordon does. You can even ask how old he is without us tearing up. 🙂 0 likes Reply Sharon DiPrima August 10, 2016 Mysteries are favorite reading material. Thanks for this opportunity to win these great books! 1 likes Reply Patti Griner August 10, 2016 At one point I had 5 dogs! I know exactly what you are feeling. They ALL slept with me in my queen size bed while my son slept in his crib and my guy slept on the couch! Feeding time was a joke, but I had a fenced in backyard and a doggie door so they could come in and out at their leisure. They always had to be with me, and even tried to get in the bath with me a few times! But I loved them all, and they showed me their love in so many different ways. 1 likes Reply Robyn K August 10, 2016 I love your dog adventures. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. 😊 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 10, 2016 You’re welcome! 0 likes Reply Elayne Coakes August 10, 2016 I know the feeling about unexpected guests – ours were cats. We had 2 and then our daughter came home with a stray whose ‘home’ – a local pub, was undergoing renovations and she couldn’t stay. She was pregnant. The vet said,’well she is only about 10 months herself, so only 2 kittens at most’. You guessed it. 6! 9 cats now in our household. We had to keep them until they were weaned. One of our existing cats was not best pleased – she was part siamese and showed her disgust by going out as much as she could. but it was so sweet when all 6 kittens climbed on my lap – extended down my legs and snuggled in for a love… we kept one kitten, the runt of the litter, but the rest and mum went to good homes. Mum was neutered! 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply to Jackie Weger Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!