Email This Post HomeHumor5 Things More Appropriate for Miley Cyrus to Lick than a Sledgehammer Amy Vansant September 10, 2013 Humor, Pop Culture 12 Comments Dammit, I really didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon and pick on this poor girl but…if you haven’t seen Miley Cyrus’ video for “Wrecking Ball” you should, because it is hilarious. I’ll put it at the bottom for you. In short, she rides around on a wrecking ball, sometimes naked, and has an intimate relationship with a sledgehammer. The whole thing is about as subtle as a wrecking ball. We get it, Miley. You’re not Hannah Montana. But more importantly, there are SO many other things you could be licking! You’re missing a big marketing opportunity here, Miley. Not to mention lunch. Eat Fresh. Not hammers. While you’re trying so hard to attract a new audience, have you even considered philatelists? Your boyfriend Liam Hemsworth won’t like it, but humping Robin Thicke’s leg probably wasn’t high on his list either. No one knows the pain of being a newborn, orphaned kitten… except Miley Cyrus. See? You could be the new Sarah Mclachlan. (cue the sad puppies!) Though…you’re already pretty close to becoming the thing people jump over their sofas to turn off. BUUUUURRRRN! The video: About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) A Screaming Bobcat, Another Free Book, Giveaway, Steals & Deals! - February 5, 2020 A Thank You & Free Short Story, Pineapple Disco 99c, Win a Kindle Reader - January 30, 2020 Two Big Favors (YOU can get me on TV), Giveaways and Deals - January 22, 2020 12 Responses Bluzdude September 10, 2013 Just keep it up, Miley, and your face is going to freeze that way… 1 likes Reply meleah rebeccah September 10, 2013 I am hysterical laughing at this whole post. My favorite is: “You’re missing a big marketing opportunity here, Miley. Not to mention lunch. Eat Fresh. Not hammers.” BAhahahhahHAhahah! 1 likes Reply Stephanie September 11, 2013 Best commentary on the Miley shit show!!! I freaking lol’d my butt off at every single one. Your photoshop skills are OFF THE HOOK!! Hahahahahaha 1 likes Reply Lance September 11, 2013 She should lick Madonna and see if her talent and intelligence flow through her. Of a Klondike bar. Everyone will do anything for one of those 0 likes Reply Tammy R September 11, 2013 Oh Amy, this one really got me. I rarely cry when laughing, but I just had to swipe a couple off my face. The fact that you added “newborn” to “orphaned” really got me here. That, paired with the Sarah McLaughlin follow up just put me over the edge. Oh. I can’t take it!!! Too funny! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 12, 2013 Can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear you were crying – wait, er… that didn’t quite come out the way I hoped… 0 likes Reply Tiffany N. York September 11, 2013 It’s a shame there’s no wrecking ball to destroy my memory of that video and Miley’s tongue. I’m going to go soak my eyeballs in bleach now. Thanks. 0 likes Reply Tressa September 12, 2013 Who was that odd actress who was on display in a NY museum sleeping in a glass box? When her box is empty, Miley should just start crawling into it and banging whatever/whoever is around and get it over with already. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 12, 2013 Ha! I think her in a glass box with her tongue pressed against the glass would be good too… maybe should could do that on the weekends. 0 likes Reply TracyontheRocks September 12, 2013 hahaha the kitten killed me- Poor Little Orphan Miley… 0 likes Reply Marie Shanahan September 21, 2013 Ha!!!! LOL!!!! 🙂 I laughed my HEAD OFF reading this. 🙂 I like the last one, the block of ice. That has GOT TO BE a funny Christmas Card this year to discourage young girls from growing up to behave like a frigging screwball. I hope she grows out of this. That poor kid. God be with her. 0 likes Reply Neal Veglio August 6, 2014 Did you notice how blotchy her tongue was!???? 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!