Email This Post HomeHumor5 Things I Learned in Florida, Book Specials & Giveaways Amy Vansant February 22, 2018 Humor 12 Comments 5 Things I Learned in Florida You can see your husband’s quirks in a new light My husband/muse, Mike, has a lot of…let’s say idiosyncrasies. I’m used to them and they make great character tics in my novels…but in new situations I never know how they might manifest. For instance, he’s overly polite. To the point where he’s practically knocked me into traffic to make room for someone approaching from the other direction – someone he’s never met and will never meet again, and someone who probably won’t even help him shovel me off the asphalt. Between him and the 700 speeding bikers (like 10 speed, not like Hell’s Angels) it’s a miracle I survived our morning walks. He was also paranoid we’d be to loud in our condo and insisted we whisper until about noon and watch all our television at level one with the close captioning on. If you could see me listening to television sound again, it would be like watching a Hallmark special where a woman regains her hearing. Plan on expanding your house so you have room for shells This was day one of shell collecting —>. I had to stop looking down for fear I’d have to buy another airplane ticket and put a human shaped shell creature in it just to get them all home. I was doing pretty well until I spotted this one:I don’t even know what it is. It’s been a long time since I found a shell I hadn’t seen before. I need to Google image it…ah, found it. Paper Nautilus. Stunned I found it whole – it’s super fragile! And turns out, without knowing it, we also took a picture of the octopus that made that shell as an egg chamber. Sharks Schmarks It isn’t the fact that you’ve watched JAWS about 150 times that will keep you out of the water. It’s seeing scores of man o’ war jellyfish on the beach every morning. Here’s one with 10ft long tentacles. Snikeys! Exercise Can’t Fight Pineapple Coconut Margaritas No matter how far you walk on the beach every morning, it doesn’t keep you skinny when you can hear Pineapple Coconut Margaritas calling your name from every tiki bar in the area. Throw in the conch fritters and grouper sandwiches and the fact you were totally kidding yourself when you thought you’d just shop and cook like you do at home… Make sure your airplane tickets are changeable. Because the weather is thirty degrees warmer in Florida and you’d swim with the man o’ wars to be able to stay a few more weeks! BOOK SPECIALS AND GIVEAWAYS Start Date: 02-11-2018End Date: 02-28-2018 Devil in a Black Suit: A Shelby Nichols Adventure By Colleen Helme Usual Price: Pre-Release Sale: 2.99 Wall Street Journal Bestseller! As part of the 12 Slays of Christmas Boxed Set, this exciting adventure earned the rare distinction of landing the #6 spot on the Wall Street Journal Bestseller list. This book is now available on its own and, as a bonus, includes a second act to this suspenseful thriller. Don’t miss it! Ramos’s job as the right-hand man to a mobster used to be easy until Shelby Nichols, a mind-reading soccer mom, joined the organization. With all the trouble she gets into, he’s constantly putting his life on the line just to keep her alive. When a government agent from his past shows up wanting a favor, she rekindles a flame they once shared. Ensnared in her scheme, Ramos discovers that there’s more to her favor than he realized. Luckily for him, he has a few tricks up his sleeve that might save his skin—but what about his heart? Amazon |Kobo Link|BN The RISK TAKER, book 1 in ALPHA AVIATOR SERIES Available on Kindle Unlimited/ .99 on Kindle Voted #1 in Spunky N Sassy Book Blog for 2017 Favorite New Adult Top Gun Navy Aviator misses the action and needs a distraction and sets his sights on a green-eyed blonde—except this one wants nothing to do with a Risk Taker! Start Date: 02-12-2018End Date: 03-15-2018 The Seacrest: A love story (Paines Creek Beach Book 1) By Aaron Paul Lazar Usual Price: 3.99 Sale: .99 Set on beautiful Cape Cod, The Seacrest is a story of intrigue and betrayal, of secrets and second chances—and above all, of a love that never dies. Amazon Start Date: 02-21-2018End Date: 02-25-2018 When Good Friends Go Bad By Ellie Campbell Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: FREE Can you ever learn to forgive and forget? Jen, Georgina, Meg and Rowan were incredibly close as children until a tasteless prank pulled them all apart. Years later, the women reunite—and explosive secrets begin to surface that could endanger them all Amazon|Website Start Date: 02-28-2018End Date: 03-30-2018 Vlad-Handing (Silver Hills Cozy Mysteries Book 5) By Sam Cheever Usual Price: New Release Sale: New Release Vlad Newsome is really more contentious than convivial. But Vlad’s suddenly “peopling”. Could it be he’s turning over a new leaf? Nah—He’s up to something. And Flo and Agnes are determined to find out what. Amazon |Kobo Link|BN|Apple iBooks|Website Laughs to Die For: Mysteries with Humor Sweepstakes – February 19th – February 26th. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) A Screaming Bobcat, Another Free Book, Giveaway, Steals & Deals! - February 5, 2020 A Thank You & Free Short Story, Pineapple Disco 99c, Win a Kindle Reader - January 30, 2020 Two Big Favors (YOU can get me on TV), Giveaways and Deals - January 22, 2020 12 Responses John Gunkler February 22, 2018 I knew immediately what kind of shell that was — it was a very pretty one, that’s what I named it. 🙂 2 likes Reply Trisha February 22, 2018 I got the nautilus part, but didn’t know the paper part from Bob’s my uncle, so do I get partial points? Oh well, worth a shot. I’ll be happy to go to Florida for you if you ever need a stand-in. Never been. I just live in measly old Carmel, California. ::Sigh:: 3 likes Reply Janet Graham February 22, 2018 I keep a special collection of stuff I’ve gathered from every trip. I have little jars of sand from all over the world. I have small jars of pebbles from all over the USA. I have several boxes of shells from the Pacific coast and one each from the Gulf coast and the Atlantic coast. These are as precious to me as photo albums are to others. My special specimens are on display. Your Paper Nautilus could go in a shadow box display and hopefully not be a dog toy (mine love the smells that I thought I had washed out). My most special display is an arrowhead that I found in my very own corral. 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 23, 2018 I hope you have a very big house! 🙂 0 likes Reply Monica February 22, 2018 Your e-mail itself is the beginning of a great story especially since your husband Mike and my husband Mike sound the same and so do we! 1 likes Reply Diana February 23, 2018 Oh Amy, I’m surprised you came back home at all. Coconut Margaritas?! Yummm! I’m from the North East coast of Florida, I swore if I ever was able to talk my hubby in to moving that was where we were settling. I’m currently being held captive here in the Midwest, due to said hubby. He’s warm-blooded so my chances are slim…I may have to resort to leeches at night while he sleeps or some other drastic measure to make this happen. I’ve withheld beef from our diet thinking it might cause anemia but so far, no luck! Lol (This IS a joke! I don’t want to be carted off by some government agency for spousal abuse for withholding beef!) I feel your pain on the politeness front…I’ve had restaurant doors slap me in the back, elevator doors close before I got on, been tripped trying to get out of the way of Sir Galahad being helpful to OTHERS, etc. You get the picture. I’ll help scrape you off the pavement if you’ll do the same for me. But you’re right, those darn jellyfish are a nuisance. And Red Tide is a problem too. Scientists prefer the term ‘harmful algal bloom’ but it’s still a pain in the keister when you can’t go in the water. ☹ Glad it was you who found the octopus…now you’re talking alien creatures from the deep! Hope you get to go back sometime soon. Pick up a shell to remember your trip by…doesn’t appear you have very many! Haha! 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 23, 2018 LOL! I don’t think a jury of your peers would convict you! 🙂 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 23, 2018 I actually grew up on an island — but it was New Jersey so we didn’t have such lovely shells. I lived in Florida for 3 years though and know what you mean! 0 likes Reply Lee February 23, 2018 Very cool pictures, Amy! I have the same problem when I go to the beach. My husband teases me about my shell collecting, but when it’s time to go home, he always makes sure my shells are safely packed. I love the octopus pic and paper nautilus. I’ve never seen either of these myself. Great finds! 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 23, 2018 Apparently it’s pretty rare to find intact so I got super lucky! 0 likes Reply Jolene February 23, 2018 Number one reminds me of my SO he constantly telling me to stop yelling in our apartment. We’ve been together five years, he should know that my voice is naturally loud by now. 0 likes Reply Clif Bradley February 23, 2018 It’s funny to see the tourist things like collecting shells. We live here and the shells are everywhere. We throw them away as detritus from our trips. I would keep the nautilus though. They are not easy to find and finding a whole one, I I’ve lived here 43 years and have never found one! You are fortunate. Glad you didn’t touch the man o’war. When I was in my teens and a lifeguard, at least 5 times a day we had to treat people for jellyfish stings because for some reason they thought it was dead, the stingers died too. They don’t. Other calls were for stingrays. If you come in the summer, learn the stingray shuffle. It will save you a lot of pain and money. No ER trips. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!