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19 Responses

    • Amy Vansant

      As a child my parents had me play with a Tasmanian Devil infected with rabies and Chlamydia, and I think it made me what I am today.
      75% scar tissue.

         1 likes

  1. Abby

    I totally agree with you, but then again I don’t remember any of my childhood. My parents made me drive truck at age 7 to earn my keep and after an unfortunate incident walking to and from school in 3 feet of snow with no shoes, I slipped and cracked my head open. Memory? Gone, but it made me who I am today…

    What was I say? Oh yes, fun post!

       0 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      Well you’re responsible for it! You posted that you’d had something on Scary Mommy published, and I’d never heard of it. I went, checked it out, and wrote this for her!

         0 likes

  2. Abby

    I thought I had read it before. And yes, I meant to include the typo in my comment here above. You know, for comic effect…

       0 likes

  3. bill

    we were never inside ,our parents had to come out and we’d hear our named yelled all over the hood to come in after being out all day even after school we’d go till dark. today forget about it ! i was 17 and in the army ,18 /19in nam 20 discharged . my kid ? he didnt leave his room till he just went to college lmao. he texts the other day,this is hard! i said compared to what ? gameboy ? x box ? welcome to earth son…

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  4. Lance

    agree

    As I child, my folks put me in the hobo car of a westbound coal train and I arrived Reno just in time to kill a man just to watch him die.

    Kids today are smarter about, sex, drugs, technology, and where mom and dad blog about their naughty thoughts. Other than that they’re more sheltered.

    Now, I will throw my 3 girls in flaming pit of falming cheetos and six knife weilding spider monkeys. One of my kids knows judo. Things could go either way.

       0 likes

  5. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    If we ever have kids we’re going to be very tough but will also have to explain why their parents baby talk to one of the dogs and call him a “Teddly Bear” – the L is not a typo.

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  6. winopants

    Haahah, all of this. Better to spoil the doggie than the child though, as doggie won’t be required to pay a mortgage someday

       0 likes

  7. Shelley

    There is some amazing parenting going on in the comments above. I’m tucking a few of these ideas away for when I run out of ways to prove to my kids that a mother’s love is deep. Maybe even deeply disturbing.

       0 likes

  8. Damien Galeone

    I once made a nun vomit via telekinesis and stitched my own gaping wound with battery acid and shoe laces. Or wait, maybe that last thing was MacGyver. Yeah. that was definitely MacGuyver. But the other thing: All Me. And LSD.

       0 likes

  9. Jon

    Oh my gosh! My kids are going to be dominated in real life. Been using stuffed animals and candy to “toughen” them up. It’s not working! I need wolverine.

       0 likes