Email This Post HomeHumorAwesome Poetry Amy Vansant May 3, 2012 Humor 5 Comments My friend’s daughter fell off a horse the other day, so I wrote her this poem: The Girl Who Bounced There once was a girl who bounced, Off the horse, to ground, she flounced! But she didn’t stay there She flew up in the air And back on the horse she pounced! Well, I guess it is more of a limerick without anything that rhymes with “uck.” This friend reminded me that we used to write brilliant poetry when we were young. Like her surprise-ending Spring sensation: Spring Spring Spring, spring, What a wonderful thing! Birds sing! Bells ring! People bring Ling Ling The Panda Food. Nobody saw that coming. I penned the Blues classic: There’s a Stone in my Shoe There’s a stone in my shoe I don’t know what I’ll do There’s a stone in my shoe I think I’ll name it after you Because it does nothing but bring me pain…. and it seems you’re doing just the same… There’s a stone in my shoe I think I’ll name it after you Baby. And together, we birthed the rap sensation: TOMATOES! (They’re the way to be) TOMATOES! They’re the way to be If you don’t like Tomatoes don’t talk to me! I go by the name of Master S-U-E And I rap better than AMY Now listen up brothers, mums and kin If you think Sue’s better than it’s a SIN And tomatoes? WHAT? They’re so gay MEATLOAF RULES on this fine day And in case you didn’t know my names AV I tell you I’m shreddin’ – Can’t you see? Whatcha sayin’ meatloaf? You are a big joke Tomatoes are the real thing Better than a Ring Ding Brrrha-ha-ha-ha TOMATOES! If you like tomatoes better then it’s your loss How about meatloaf with tomato sauce? Yeah Bud! That’s the answer! I never could sing but I am a dancer! Rappin’s where’s it’s at, wouldn’t you say? We’re gonna Brrha-ha-ha our lives away! I think the Fat Boys Brahahaha “Human Beat Box” additions are what catapulted it straight to the top of the charts. How ONE of us isn’t poet laureate by now, I do not know. Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Hurricane is Released + Even More Giveaways (three chances to win a kindle) - June 4, 2020 Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 5 Responses Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd May 5, 2012 Any mention of the Fat Boys requires Tom’s standard response: “They wouldn’t even be considered fat by today’s standards.” Spring Spring was a thrill ride of prose. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant May 6, 2012 Ha! He’s right. Now they’d just be the Average Weight Boys. 0 likes Reply Tracy May 6, 2012 Your poetry is sublime. My friend Lisa and I wrote a whole book of poetry over the phone one night, giggling at its stupidity. But we submitted it for a 6th grade English assignment and got an A. Our teacher’s responses were even funnier than our dumb poems — for example for the poem: “Dishes, dishes in the sink. Who will wash them? My Mom, I think”, the teacher wrote “Or you.” God, I loved that teacher. I wish I could find that book. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant May 6, 2012 Indeed, I know these poems will never delight anyone as much as it delighted us at ages 15 or so. 🙂 0 likes Reply Claire May 8, 2012 We submitted it for a 6th grade English assignment and got an A. Our teacher’s responses were even funnier than our dumb poems — for example for the poem: “Dishes, dishes in the sink. Thanks for sharing your site.. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!