Email This Post HomeHumorBe More Interesting Amy Vansant June 12, 2012 Humor 18 Comments I’m just going to drink this big glass of poison— Wait…HOLD THE PHONE…THIS is INTERESTING! Three guys walk into a bar. A Rich Guy, an Actor and Average Joe. They begin idle conversation. Rich Guy has traveled all over the world, been educated at the finest schools and once ate a puffer fish prepared by celebrity Chef Morimoto. The demands of various roles enabled Actor to learn Spanish during two months of intensive tutelage. He was taught to box by Mike Tyson, trained with Navy SEALS and can hit a bulls eye with a crossbow. Average Joe works in an office. Once he went deep sea fishing and a marlin nearly pulled him off the boat. Other than that he’s mostly been trying to make a living for his wife and two kids. What’s the punchline? Rich Guy and Actor don’t have particularly great personalities. If you were trapped on an island with them, after about a month you’d MacGyver a gun out of coconuts and monkey poop to shoot yourself. On the other hand, Average Joe has a great sense of humor. But the bartender listening to the aforementioned bar conversation barely noticed Average Joe. The life experiences of the other two were too fascinating. Plus he has a thing against people named “Joe,” but that’s his hang up and has nothing to do with my point. The moral of the story is that actors and rich people can be interesting using half the brain power, personality and effort of the average person. I’m not saying rich people and actors are idiots. I’m saying that people with more life experiences are just more interesting to talk to, at least in the short term. Did I mention I am neither rich, nor an actor? Once, while playing “If you could have dinner with anyone” I though how much fun a meal with Amy Pohler and her husband Will Arnet would be. Then I had a horrifying flash of this dinner from their point of view. Did I bore them? What did I have to share? How many adorable Labradoodle stories were too many? Were they going to fire the agent who talked them into the Have Dinner with Amy and Will! contest that brought them to my humble door? Everyone plays “If you could have dinner with anyone,” but nobody every considers the poor famous bastards stuck at your grandmother’s table listening to the story about the time you totally one upped that mean girl at work. Sure, she had it coming, but nobody cares. Something had to be done. I had to be more interesting. Follow this series to learn the different between being interesting, and being a douche. Could I devote two months to studying Spanish? No. My business would fall to pieces and come month three, no one would pay me a million dollars to use that Spanish on film. But I COULD try harder to experience life. I would gather my stories more slowly than the rich guys and actors, but slow and steady wins the race, right? (Not in the Olympics, but come on, run with me on this.) Actor and Rich Guy probably can’t or won’t develop better personalities, but Average Joe (or Josephine) CAN start doing interesting stuff. Granted, unless a hot tub time machine takes me back to 1800’s Tombstone, I probably won’t ever need to know how to twirl a six shooter. But wouldn’t it be awesome to know how to twirl a six shooter? To drive a race car? To have a perfect Irish accent? How can you be dull when you know how to take apart and put back together a rifle in less than a minute? So, I’m starting a series on Kid-Free Living called Be More Interesting, chronicling my journey to BE MORE INTERESTING. Turns out when you work from home it is easy to grow stagnant and I need to break out before my stories are all about the stretching abilities of quality sweatpants and joint pain. Recently, I’ve made a paperweight in a glass blowing clinic and I am schedule for a flying trapeze class on June 24th. I’m finding a lot of these oddball things to do through Living Social, so I’m getting to do them for a fraction of the cost. Which brings me to my first tip: INTERESTIP: Join Living Social, Groupon, etc. to find out about interesting things in your area and participate for half the usual cost. In the grand scheme of mid-life crises, this is pretty tame. At least I didn’t buy a corvette or seduce a college student. (Hold on a second while I punch this college student laughing his ass off at the idea I could seduce him.) My hope is that anyone reading these pieces will be inspired to share their own interesting stories in the comments, then I can become even MORE interesting by pretending your stories are mine when I meet new people. Kidding! But seriously, love to hear your stories, and thank you, as always, for stopping by! Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 Name the Hurricane, Women Sleuths 99c Sale & Giveaway - May 14, 2020 18 Responses Joshua June 12, 2012 I learned to speak in public. That may seem a bit mundane or even useless, but it is the confidence and ability to sway a crowd that holds their attention. “Common sense,” you say. Hogwash! I will not call it an inherent charisma or even a latent appeal to others, but how many people do -you- listen to when they’re half-assing their way through an anecdote or what they mistakenly believe to be amusing? That is likely to be a small number. I’m talking Apple Stores in Lancaster County low. Anyone that is a fan of Eddie Izzard can tell you that it is not so much what you’re saying, but how you look and sound while doing so. Even if I were to deign to dine with those of celebrity status, I’m confident I could hold their attention. Even if I had to slip the cleaver from beneath my vest to do so. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 12, 2012 That’s an excellent skill to have. I took speech classes in college and what I learned there I later used to give free speeches about web development to get new clients. The main lesson I learned? Take a shot of vodka before every speech. 0 likes Reply Abby June 12, 2012 I can’t keep up with all your different blog/site projects now! I think that qualifies you as interesting 😉 Anyway, that’s funny because I recently said I would like to hang with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Even if I was boring as hell, they could entertain themselves and I could drink wine. I think I’m interesting but an acquired taste. While I’ve never swung from a trapeze, I have passed out at graduation, dressed a dead cat in a sweater and constantly do things that other people won’t admit to. Perhaps my experiences are unconventional and not “typically” interesting, but I’m not boring 😉 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 12, 2012 I’ve been a little out of control lately. I think I JUST got to where you were years ago – I’ve got 2-3 blogs a week coming out me and I can’t stop them! You should teach a “how to dress your cat” class at a local center. Everyone brings in a cat, you supply the little shirts — You’d make the real money charging an audience to watch. I would pay a LOT OF MONEY to watch 20 women try and put a shirt on a cat. 0 likes Reply Derek June 12, 2012 Sell all of your possessions and give the money to your brother. Then try living on the streets in a box. That would give you some great stories! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 12, 2012 That’s sounds like a great ide— HEY! (Guess who posted that) 0 likes Reply Amy B June 12, 2012 The most interesting thing I’ll probably do this summer is cash in that trapeze lesson I bought on Groupon. Problem is I’m way too distracted by my dvr and laying on the couch during my downtime to actually do it. Funny how that works… 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 12, 2012 Wait – you did it too?? In DC?? What day? I’m June 24th at 3… 0 likes Reply Scargosun June 12, 2012 Was that a Living Social/Groupon ad? It was a good one! I am going horseback riding through one of them in a couple weeks. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 13, 2012 The trapeze and glass blowing were both Living Social. Had no idea those things were available! 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd June 14, 2012 Yeah, I’m having the same issues. I got nothing right now. Leaving dog rescue significantly reduced the acquiring of interesting stories to tell. But, I also agree that there’s a difference between being an interesting person and having an interesting life. I’ll take a good character over an individual story any day of the week. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant June 14, 2012 Agreed – some people are just more interesting (ie, smarter, quicker, observant, whatever) than others. But all work and no play makes even Intersting Jack a dull boy! 0 likes Reply Wendi August 23, 2012 I think you’re hilarious – thanks for finding me on Twitter. I think the wine glass with the head poking out was the first clue that you were interesting AND funny. And I’d take just about anyone at that dinner (as long as wine is included) EXCEPT an actor – I think actor’s don’t have personalities of their own anyway….why else would they be pretending to be other people all the time? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 23, 2012 Ah but actors get to do so many interesting things… Thanks and thanks for stopping by – I love comments – makes you feel like you’re not writing in a vacuum! 0 likes Reply Wendi August 23, 2012 Oops forgot my handle- yep I’m new at this! 0 likes Reply Jessica Holt September 10, 2012 I like this idea! I feel like my life starts to get so boring now that I’m all settled down, but what a way to keep it going 🙂 0 likes Reply SilverFen October 14, 2012 I find my life is more interesting sometimes than I can handle. I have 3 kids and I home school them all. I think that alone has made me more interesting, or at least I’m like one of those side-show freaks that people like to gawk at with incomprehension and disbelief. I also have medical issues that garner me a lot of scrutiny by my family (both close and extended). Said medical conditions ensure there is always something fascinating happening in my life, although not entirely enjoyable. To counteract the less entertaining parts of life, I have taken up learning Japanese. I’m fairly good at the parts I know, but I know very little so far. I’ve been at it a few months. This one thing has made me even more of a curio to my friends and family (and even strangers) because the first question EVERYONE asks is… “What are you going to do once you’ve learned Japanese?” To that I reply “Why do I have to do anything with it?” Does everyone who writes something become a novelist? Does everyone who doodles become a artist? Does everyone who likes dogs become a breeder or shower? Does every gamer go out and create a MMORPG? No. Why do they do what they do? Because hobbies are FUN, and they keep us out of trouble. I love how all my family and friends who get themselves into a lot of trouble never have any hobbies, then they question MY sanity for having so many hobbies. Maybe if they all had more hobbies they wouldn’t have the spare time to wonder what happens when you shoot light bulbs with airsoft guns. (Please don’t try this at home, they explode, and make a mess, which I inevitably have to clean up – so just don’t do it!) I believe the most interesting you will ever be is when you have kids, because kids are fascinated by everything! Also, they make you go outside your box. I never EVER sang or danced in front of people until my kids came along and started cheering for me. They are who I sew beautiful ball gowns for, who I draw, paint, and craft for, and who I’ve thought up about 100 new recipes (all rejected by my picky “dinner is not food” eaters) for. It’s never too late to be interesting, but when you have a captive audience, it makes it so much easier! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 14, 2012 I’ll have to settle with being fascinating to my dog. All I have to do is pull food out of a closet and he is RIVETED. 🙂 Domo arigato for your comment! 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!