Email This Post HomeHumorBoobie Washer Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 Humor, Visuals 21 Comments On Fridays I sometimes post stupid little things. This would be one of those… I found an application submitted for “Boobie Washer” on the bathroom counter. I do not remember placing that particular “Help Wanted” ad. “Knee Polisher,” sure. I think most people spend a good part of their lives looking for a good knee polisher. But “Boobie Washer?” Ludicrous. I’m assuming my husband left it there, hopefully for me. His credentials are less than stellar, but it is the only application I’ve received so far. $500 per boob seems excessive, though. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Winners of the Fashion Line Contest, Cover Reveal, Giveaways and Book Deals - November 6, 2018 Pineapple Gingerbread Men Released + Recipe - November 1, 2018 Name the Fashion Line Contest – Giveaways, Book Deals & Steals - October 25, 2018 21 Responses Nicole August 24, 2012 Only Mondays? That means 6 days of dirty boobies. That doesn’t seem acceptable. I’d send him a rejection letter. Nicole recently posted..custos morum*Add your Twitter: DTUBlog 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 It really is unacceptable. But, boobie washers are notoriously lazy. Amy Vansant recently posted..How a Horse Turned Me into Queen Quitter 0 likes Reply Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..The Best $10 I Have Ever Spent 0 likes Reply Lance August 24, 2012 How does he ride two armadillos? Also, now I can start making some money on the side. Lance recently posted..Heart In A Blender 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 Not surprisingly, I asked him that same question. He said “A foot on each one, standing. Duh.” Amy Vansant recently posted..Affordable Snoring Mouthpiece 0 likes Reply @bluenotebacker August 24, 2012 Kinda surprised folks having trouble with this one. Tell me you’ve never had armadillo roller skates! @bluenotebacker recently posted..Watch where you’re going! 0 likes Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Where I grew up we always used iguanas, so it was confusing at first.. Amy Vansant recently posted..Seize the Day Blog Interview 0 likes Abby August 24, 2012 I would like to know why he feels you need to wash your boobs only once a week. This disturbs me only slightly more than the fact that he rides armadillos. Abby recently posted..Letting It GoAdd your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m most confused by “Social Security No: “Never Tested”” Took me a while to get “Date – Really?” but I’m still working on the SSN comment. Amy Vansant recently posted..Why You Shouldn’t Mix Manhattans with Wine 0 likes Reply Abby August 24, 2012 Agreed. I just let that one go, as he was obviously drunk when he applied, therefore negating any need for drug testing before proceeding with the application process. Good luck! Abby recently posted..Letting It GoAdd your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues 0 likes Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! I have a resume a mile long. In college, not only was I a boobie washer, but I also did booty buffing on the side. The moment when you’ve shined an ass so well you can see your reflection? A proud moment indeed. Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..Stand Up Comics and My Ex Wife (starring @JohnHeffron!) 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m afraid nepotism has won the day already. Plus he threatened to stop mowing the lawn if I didn’t hire him. Amy Vansant recently posted..Show the Nice Lady the Chiggers Hiding in Your Butt 0 likes Reply SarcasticNinja August 24, 2012 $500/boob sounds like he’s trying to rob you. Especially given the low fuel costs associated with transportation by armadillo. I would refuse to pay a cent over a hundred for the pair. SarcasticNinja recently posted..It’s Tough to Be the Queen – Part 1 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 You have an EXCELLENT point on the money saving armadillos.. thank you for the bargaining chip. Amy Vansant recently posted..What are Down Pillows? A Goose’s Final Revenge 0 likes Reply Stacey August 24, 2012 Pffft. My husband does that job for free. More than once a week, too. Stacey recently posted..Little Big Stuff 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Well don’t let him realize he can demand payment. Hide my URL. 0 likes Reply Kristen August 25, 2012 The price is steep considering he added the “ie” in Boobie Washer. $500 per might be reasonable for a Boob Washer….but Boobie? I don’t know if he takes his job seriously enough. Kristen recently posted..Bone Density Should Be a Status Symbol 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Funny thing is, he gives me a 100% discount if I let him do it. Not a bad deal… Amy Vansant recently posted..How NOT to Fix an Air Conditioning Unit 0 likes Reply Amy B August 28, 2012 Where are these 2 armadillos parked? I’m a little nervous about this. They’re messy. Everything else seems like pretty standard language… Amy B recently posted..Another Reminder 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Where DOESN’T he keep them. I’ve found them under the bed, roaming the backyard, in the bookshelves… 0 likes Reply Callie's Mariner April 28, 2013 Is this the only application you got? Perhaps you should hold out for a less lazy Boobie Washer. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter! you MUST enable javascript to be able to comment You can add a link to follow you on twitter if you put your username in this box.Only needs to be added once (unless you change your username). No http or @
Nicole August 24, 2012 Only Mondays? That means 6 days of dirty boobies. That doesn’t seem acceptable. I’d send him a rejection letter. Nicole recently posted..custos morum*Add your Twitter: DTUBlog 1 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 It really is unacceptable. But, boobie washers are notoriously lazy. Amy Vansant recently posted..How a Horse Turned Me into Queen Quitter 0 likes Reply
Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..The Best $10 I Have Ever Spent 0 likes Reply
Lance August 24, 2012 How does he ride two armadillos? Also, now I can start making some money on the side. Lance recently posted..Heart In A Blender 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 Not surprisingly, I asked him that same question. He said “A foot on each one, standing. Duh.” Amy Vansant recently posted..Affordable Snoring Mouthpiece 0 likes Reply
@bluenotebacker August 24, 2012 Kinda surprised folks having trouble with this one. Tell me you’ve never had armadillo roller skates! @bluenotebacker recently posted..Watch where you’re going! 0 likes
Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Where I grew up we always used iguanas, so it was confusing at first.. Amy Vansant recently posted..Seize the Day Blog Interview 0 likes
Abby August 24, 2012 I would like to know why he feels you need to wash your boobs only once a week. This disturbs me only slightly more than the fact that he rides armadillos. Abby recently posted..Letting It GoAdd your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m most confused by “Social Security No: “Never Tested”” Took me a while to get “Date – Really?” but I’m still working on the SSN comment. Amy Vansant recently posted..Why You Shouldn’t Mix Manhattans with Wine 0 likes Reply
Abby August 24, 2012 Agreed. I just let that one go, as he was obviously drunk when he applied, therefore negating any need for drug testing before proceeding with the application process. Good luck! Abby recently posted..Letting It GoAdd your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues 0 likes
Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! I have a resume a mile long. In college, not only was I a boobie washer, but I also did booty buffing on the side. The moment when you’ve shined an ass so well you can see your reflection? A proud moment indeed. Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..Stand Up Comics and My Ex Wife (starring @JohnHeffron!) 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m afraid nepotism has won the day already. Plus he threatened to stop mowing the lawn if I didn’t hire him. Amy Vansant recently posted..Show the Nice Lady the Chiggers Hiding in Your Butt 0 likes Reply
SarcasticNinja August 24, 2012 $500/boob sounds like he’s trying to rob you. Especially given the low fuel costs associated with transportation by armadillo. I would refuse to pay a cent over a hundred for the pair. SarcasticNinja recently posted..It’s Tough to Be the Queen – Part 1 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 You have an EXCELLENT point on the money saving armadillos.. thank you for the bargaining chip. Amy Vansant recently posted..What are Down Pillows? A Goose’s Final Revenge 0 likes Reply
Stacey August 24, 2012 Pffft. My husband does that job for free. More than once a week, too. Stacey recently posted..Little Big Stuff 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Well don’t let him realize he can demand payment. Hide my URL. 0 likes Reply
Kristen August 25, 2012 The price is steep considering he added the “ie” in Boobie Washer. $500 per might be reasonable for a Boob Washer….but Boobie? I don’t know if he takes his job seriously enough. Kristen recently posted..Bone Density Should Be a Status Symbol 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Funny thing is, he gives me a 100% discount if I let him do it. Not a bad deal… Amy Vansant recently posted..How NOT to Fix an Air Conditioning Unit 0 likes Reply
Amy B August 28, 2012 Where are these 2 armadillos parked? I’m a little nervous about this. They’re messy. Everything else seems like pretty standard language… Amy B recently posted..Another Reminder 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Where DOESN’T he keep them. I’ve found them under the bed, roaming the backyard, in the bookshelves… 0 likes Reply
Callie's Mariner April 28, 2013 Is this the only application you got? Perhaps you should hold out for a less lazy Boobie Washer. 0 likes Reply
