On Fridays I sometimes post stupid little things. This would be one of those…
I found an application submitted for “Boobie Washer” on the bathroom counter. I do not remember placing that particular “Help Wanted” ad. “Knee Polisher,” sure. I think most people spend a good part of their lives looking for a good knee polisher. But “Boobie Washer?” Ludicrous.
I’m assuming my husband left it there, hopefully for me. His credentials are less than stellar, but it is the only application I’ve received so far.
$500 per boob seems excessive, though.
Amy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries.
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Only Mondays? That means 6 days of dirty boobies. That doesn’t seem acceptable. I’d send him a rejection letter.
It really is unacceptable. But, boobie washers are notoriously lazy.
If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working).
I have references!
How does he ride two armadillos?
Also, now I can start making some money on the side.
Not surprisingly, I asked him that same question. He said “A foot on each one, standing. Duh.”
Kinda surprised folks having trouble with this one. Tell me you’ve never had armadillo roller skates!
Where I grew up we always used iguanas, so it was confusing at first..
I would like to know why he feels you need to wash your boobs only once a week. This disturbs me only slightly more than the fact that he rides armadillos.
I’m most confused by “Social Security No: “Never Tested”” Took me a while to get “Date – Really?” but I’m still working on the SSN comment.
Agreed. I just let that one go, as he was obviously drunk when he applied, therefore negating any need for drug testing before proceeding with the application process. Good luck!
If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working).
I have references!
I have a resume a mile long. In college, not only was I a boobie washer, but I also did booty buffing on the side.
The moment when you’ve shined an ass so well you can see your reflection? A proud moment indeed.
I’m afraid nepotism has won the day already. Plus he threatened to stop mowing the lawn if I didn’t hire him.
$500/boob sounds like he’s trying to rob you. Especially given the low fuel costs associated with transportation by armadillo. I would refuse to pay a cent over a hundred for the pair.
You have an EXCELLENT point on the money saving armadillos.. thank you for the bargaining chip.
Pffft. My husband does that job for free. More than once a week, too.
Well don’t let him realize he can demand payment. Hide my URL.
The price is steep considering he added the “ie” in Boobie Washer. $500 per might be reasonable for a Boob Washer….but Boobie? I don’t know if he takes his job seriously enough.
Funny thing is, he gives me a 100% discount if I let him do it. Not a bad deal…
Where are these 2 armadillos parked? I’m a little nervous about this. They’re messy. Everything else seems like pretty standard language…
Where DOESN’T he keep them. I’ve found them under the bed, roaming the backyard, in the bookshelves…
Is this the only application you got? Perhaps you should hold out for a less lazy Boobie Washer.