Email This Post HomeHumorBoobie Washer Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 Humor, Visuals 21 Comments On Fridays I sometimes post stupid little things. This would be one of those… I found an application submitted for “Boobie Washer” on the bathroom counter. I do not remember placing that particular “Help Wanted” ad. “Knee Polisher,” sure. I think most people spend a good part of their lives looking for a good knee polisher. But “Boobie Washer?” Ludicrous. I’m assuming my husband left it there, hopefully for me. His credentials are less than stellar, but it is the only application I’ve received so far. $500 per boob seems excessive, though. Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Nxt - August 13, 2020 Vegetable *Whatever* Soup – Giveaways and Book Steals and Deals - August 11, 2020 New Book on PreOrder, Giveaways and Deals (Win Kindles) - July 29, 2020 21 Responses Nicole August 24, 2012 Only Mondays? That means 6 days of dirty boobies. That doesn’t seem acceptable. I’d send him a rejection letter. 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 It really is unacceptable. But, boobie washers are notoriously lazy. 0 likes Reply Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! 0 likes Reply Lance August 24, 2012 How does he ride two armadillos? Also, now I can start making some money on the side. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 Not surprisingly, I asked him that same question. He said “A foot on each one, standing. Duh.” 0 likes Reply @bluenotebacker August 24, 2012 Kinda surprised folks having trouble with this one. Tell me you’ve never had armadillo roller skates! 0 likes Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Where I grew up we always used iguanas, so it was confusing at first.. 0 likes Abby August 24, 2012 I would like to know why he feels you need to wash your boobs only once a week. This disturbs me only slightly more than the fact that he rides armadillos. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m most confused by “Social Security No: “Never Tested”” Took me a while to get “Date – Really?” but I’m still working on the SSN comment. 0 likes Reply Abby August 24, 2012 Agreed. I just let that one go, as he was obviously drunk when he applied, therefore negating any need for drug testing before proceeding with the application process. Good luck! 0 likes Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho August 24, 2012 If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working). I have references! I have a resume a mile long. In college, not only was I a boobie washer, but I also did booty buffing on the side. The moment when you’ve shined an ass so well you can see your reflection? A proud moment indeed. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 I’m afraid nepotism has won the day already. Plus he threatened to stop mowing the lawn if I didn’t hire him. 0 likes Reply SarcasticNinja August 24, 2012 $500/boob sounds like he’s trying to rob you. Especially given the low fuel costs associated with transportation by armadillo. I would refuse to pay a cent over a hundred for the pair. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 24, 2012 You have an EXCELLENT point on the money saving armadillos.. thank you for the bargaining chip. 0 likes Reply Stacey August 24, 2012 Pffft. My husband does that job for free. More than once a week, too. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 25, 2012 Well don’t let him realize he can demand payment. Hide my URL. 0 likes Reply Kristen August 25, 2012 The price is steep considering he added the “ie” in Boobie Washer. $500 per might be reasonable for a Boob Washer….but Boobie? I don’t know if he takes his job seriously enough. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Funny thing is, he gives me a 100% discount if I let him do it. Not a bad deal… 0 likes Reply Amy B August 28, 2012 Where are these 2 armadillos parked? I’m a little nervous about this. They’re messy. Everything else seems like pretty standard language… 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant August 28, 2012 Where DOESN’T he keep them. I’ve found them under the bed, roaming the backyard, in the bookshelves… 0 likes Reply Callie's Mariner April 28, 2013 Is this the only application you got? Perhaps you should hold out for a less lazy Boobie Washer. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!