Email This Post HomeHumorCreepy Little Attic Doors Amy Vansant January 26, 2012 Humor 14 Comments “Nope, can’t live here.” I looked at him, exhausted. This was the 25th home we’ve seen and the most promising by far. “Why not?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from growing screechy. He nodded to the far wall. “Creepy little crawlspace door.” In the corner of the second floor bedroom stood a door no more than two feet high. “More specifically,” he said, pointing to the doorknob. “It has a doorknob, not a one-sided latch.” “So?” I asked. Our real estate agent walked to the door, her 32-tooth grin never wavering. She reached for the knob. My husband winced as she opened it. It revealed nothing but wooden beams and attic fluff. My husband took a deep breath. I stared at him, awaiting further explanation why an attic door with a knob meant weeks of additional house hunting. “A latch on the inside is one thing,” he said. “WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THEM KNOB TO COME IN?” About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Giant Sale-Going out of Business Closeout, Giveaways and Deals - April 25, 2019 New Series Poll, Giveaways - April 18, 2019 Pineapple Port Challenge Winners - April 11, 2019 14 Responses Raymond January 26, 2012 My grandma had a creepy crawlspace in her house — and would encourage us kids to play in it. Of course, she did go crazy towards and had the parish priest on speed-dial for last rites. Coincidence? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 26, 2012 Did she eagerly ask if you’d cut yourself, or maybe gotten a splinter why you were in there? There was probably a certain amount of blood that had to be spilled in there to keep it from eating the house. 0 likes Reply Lance January 26, 2012 I will admit, I wasn’t always the best older brother. My younger sister is claustrophobic and as a little kid, had adeal with monsters hiding everywhere. I may or may not have pulled the “tricking your sister intoa small creepy attic or basement door then locking he rin for a few seconds” God has forgiven me, my sister hasn’t 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 26, 2012 Hey, a llifetime of claustrophobia for her is a small price to pay for 10 minutes of your glee. 🙂 0 likes Reply Pickleope January 26, 2012 Maybe it’s the oversaturation of horror movies, but I have to side with him on this. The evil gremlins and demon ghosties are everywhere, you have to be cautio…Ah there’s something touching my leg!!!! Oh, it’s my foot. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 26, 2012 Holy… you scared me! 0 likes Reply Dusty January 26, 2012 You need that doornob to come back from John Malcovich’s mind! You don’t want to end up on the Jersey Turnpike every time, do you? 0 likes Reply Jessica January 26, 2012 We have a creepy little door in our Dining room and I begged my husband to nail it shut. I know a little tiny gnome creature lives in there and is waiting for the right moment to scurry out into the family room while I’m watching Project Runway. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 26, 2012 Creepy gnomes LOVE Project Runway. And I hear pointy hats are in this year. Good move. 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd January 26, 2012 Leprechauns with actual gold have to go somewhere, right? Oh, who am I kidding, there’s a happy little face eater on the other side of that door. 0 likes Reply iampisspot January 26, 2012 I am totally with your hubster on this matter. Freaky little doors are scary. There’s ghosts and gremlins, and in my case, terrifying E.T figurines living in there. True story from my childhood. 0 likes Reply Michelle H. January 26, 2012 I have to side with him on this. That little door is nothing but nightmare fuel waiting to happen. Now, I will admit, if I had been the previous owner of the home, I would have had to find and buy the creepiest clown statue I could possibly find, and stick it right on the other side of that door. So that when the person showing the house opened it…well, you get the picture. 0 likes Reply Jen Has A Pen January 26, 2012 Hahahaha. So funny. 🙂 0 likes Reply Chris January 27, 2012 You need a doornob to get back out of John Malcovich’s mind. You don’t want to end up on the Jersey Turnpike every time, do you? 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!