Email This Post HomeHumorFoot-in-mouth disease…giveaways…book deals… Amy Vansant October 17, 2018 Humor 11 Comments My Foot-in-Mouth Disease The other day I came back from running an errand to find an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I knew we had a guy coming over to give us a quote on a new HVAC system—so no big surprise. As I parked elsewhere and walked up my path, my husband Mike appeared at the door. “You can see Bob’s here.” “Yep,” I said, entering the house. “I pieced that together. I write mysteries for a living, you know.” “I just didn’t want you to think I had my mistress here,” he said, joking. I laughed and joked back. “Mistress? I’d hope she had a nicer car than that!” I said this at the top of my lungs….as I came around the corner to find Bob at our kitchen table staring at me. You remember Bob. The guy with the crappy car. Smooth as always. It’s like my superpower. I slapped a frozen smile on my face while my brain calculated which would be better: Explain to Bob I’d meant I hoped only a fabulously rich woman tooling around in an Aston Martin or something could steal Mike away from me…or… Run away. Somehow joking about my husband’s imaginary rich mistress with someone who maybe didn’t even hear Mike’s original joke seemed like a minefield, so I pivoted and bolted to the back of the house, never to be seen by Bob again. But I’m thinking that HVAC quote could have been better… GIVEAWAYS Win 12+ eBooks & Gain Access to Deals & Steals on More! BOOK DEALS & STEALS The Raven Witch of Corfu Episodes 1 and 2 on pre-order. 99c each! A terrible evil lurks in the mountain… Lizzie is not your average tourist. She may have just arrived on the idyllic Greek island of Corfu, but her mind is not on having a good time. 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When her best friend’s murdered, she’s determined to find the killer. A new romance and an adopted big Newfoundland are pretty comforting at times like these. Recipes included! Start Date: 10-12-2018End Date: 10-22-2018 Filigrees, Fortunes and Foul Play (Paper Crafts Club Mystery Book 1) By Emily Selby Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: .99 A woman stabbed with a paper craft tool, an empty house, a quirky British town full of suspects – whodunnit? Did local paper artist craft a murder? When one of her housecleaning clients turns up dead, the paper crafting tool found embedded in the woman’s neck points straight to Katie. Life was busy enough when she was juggling single motherhood, part time jobs, and her passion for crafting. Now Katie’s been accused of murder. Katie has her own ideas about who the real murderer is, but the inspector leading the investigation isn’t interested in his prime suspect’s hunches. If she wants to find the real killer before another victim drops dead, Katie will have to dig up some actual evidence.Don’t miss the first book in the new cozy mystery series: The Paper Crafts Club Mystery – buy it now! Amazon Start Date: 10-12-2018End Date: 10-22-2018 Rain Clouds and Waterfalls By Piper Templeton Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: .99 A novel told in short stories, follow young Ellen as she narrates each story of love, loss, longing, friendship, and entrapment. Inspired by the artistry of the Beatles, each story is framed by a Beatles song or actual Beatles event. Amazon About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Shark Attack – Huge Book-Kindle Giveaway and Deals - March 20, 2019 Win the Pineapple Challenge - March 14, 2019 Dog Sitting Stories, Interview, Giveaways and Deals - March 7, 2019 11 Responses Cheryl October 17, 2018 This is hilarious…in a cringing i feel your pain kind of way. 2 likes Reply Christine October 17, 2018 You are not alone. When I get up in the morning I let the dogs out, get a cup of tea and wind up on the couch with a dog in my lap and my kindle in hand. Today I remembered why I never do anything other than read early in the morning. Reading is safer until I’m fully functional. I saw a post from Lost Pets in my area. The picture showed the dog was being cared for at my vet who is close by and being involved in dog rescue, I quickly posted the picture after writing, “Do you know this dog?” One small problem …..The original picture was 3 years old. 1 likes Reply Latifa Howard October 17, 2018 I guess he said you are going to finance his new car purchase. 1 likes Reply Ricki Crane October 17, 2018 You do all realize that that’s the guy from the beer commercial 0 likes Reply MelodyJ October 18, 2018 The price in the quote will help with the new car. I agree with the earlier poster. That is funny. 0 likes Reply Betty Gracie October 18, 2018 Been there, done that. Ouch!! 0 likes Reply Jennifer Lynn Roche October 18, 2018 I love your story at least you had a witty sense of humor perhaps Bob might not agree but my husband and I kid around like that all the time except no third party is usually around to hear our banter. Might be time to check out a new HVAC company!😆 0 likes Reply Cindy DeGraaff October 18, 2018 ROFL. Your posts always crack me up. 0 likes Reply Aimee October 22, 2018 Ouch! I thought I was the only one with foot-in-mouth disease! I find myself in the predicament more often than I should admit. Which is usually followed by the nervous giggles when the tape has been played back in my brain. 0 likes Reply Jeanie Tortoisefly October 22, 2018 Well Bob does need to find a way to pay for a vehicle upgrade… his imaginary mistress may also have expensive taste after all. 0 likes Reply Kolten November 17, 2018 Happens all the time, and you can’t help it. Wish I could have seen your face when you turned the corner though! 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!