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How to Protect Your Home from Thieves

Well, vacation is over. So sad. If you’re wondering how we kept the house safe while we were gone, it isn’t my redneck brother-in-law or my heavily armed father. We just hang old baby dolls around the house and in the trees. Works every time.

Is it worth a 25″ television to find out what is INSIDE this house? (HINT: The inside is full of clowns.)

protecting your home on vacation dolls in trees

How to Make Your Home Less Attractive to Thieves

Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries.
Amy Vansant

18 Responses

  1. Raymond

    I find that if you hang only the doll heads around the house, it deters Jehovah’s Witnesses too.

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  2. Amy Vansant

    Excellent tip. Although it also brings out religion in others. The mail lady repeatedly crosses herself as she approaches the mailbox…

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  3. Lance

    We’ve left the door unlocked many times. Either..

    A) thieves read my blog and feel sorry for me

    B) My women don’t have as nice of stuff as they think they do

    C) my 8 yr old daughter’s badass rep has made it’s way around an entire county

    Hilarious post

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  4. bschooled

    At first, I couldn’t stop laughing at this. But then I looked up, and I swear the doll in the top left hand corner said (in what can only be described as a Bobcat Goldthwaite-meets-Fran Drescher voice), “LaughagainandImgonnafindyouandcutyouupsomethingfierce…”

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    • Amy Vansant

      I’ve spent the last week unable to get work done trying to figure out what a Bobcat Goldthwaite-meets-Fran Drescher voice sounds like. Thanks.

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  5. Tricia

    Yes I would definitely choose a different house to rob and I might also never sleep with the lights off again!

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  6. Jen

    I like the whole idea of keeping the Jehova’s Witnesses away too. I will need to use this trick next time we go out of town. You have such great housekeeping tips.

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    • Amy Vansant

      Though a disturbing number of people on Facebook actually believed this is my home, it is actually a picture from the “island of dolls” – a creepy place often covered in paranormal investigations.

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  7. Joshua

    There was a downloadable expansion to Fallout 3 where you’re walking through the swampy land of Point Lookout, Maryland in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. There are these dolls hanging everywhere. Superstition and what not. Really creepy at night. And by “at night” I’m not talking game nighttime, but if you’re playing when it’s dark outside, it’s especially creeptastic.

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