Email This Post HomeHumorHow ToHow to Protect Your Home from Thieves Amy Vansant January 28, 2012 How To, Visuals 18 Comments Well, vacation is over. So sad. If you’re wondering how we kept the house safe while we were gone, it isn’t my redneck brother-in-law or my heavily armed father. We just hang old baby dolls around the house and in the trees. Works every time. Is it worth a 25″ television to find out what is INSIDE this house? (HINT: The inside is full of clowns.) How to Make Your Home Less Attractive to Thieves Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Hurricane is Released + Even More Giveaways (three chances to win a kindle) - June 4, 2020 Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 18 Responses Raymond January 28, 2012 I find that if you hang only the doll heads around the house, it deters Jehovah’s Witnesses too. 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 28, 2012 Excellent tip. Although it also brings out religion in others. The mail lady repeatedly crosses herself as she approaches the mailbox… 1 likes Reply Lance January 28, 2012 We’ve left the door unlocked many times. Either.. A) thieves read my blog and feel sorry for me B) My women don’t have as nice of stuff as they think they do C) my 8 yr old daughter’s badass rep has made it’s way around an entire county Hilarious post 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant January 28, 2012 Thanks! Hilarious response – I’m thinking “C” 1 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd January 28, 2012 I haven’t tried it, but I bet if you leave a recording of a woman crying on a loop at all entrances, male thieves will stay away. 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 1, 2012 Also an EXCELLENT idea. Next time I run out of vodka I’ll tape myself. 0 likes Reply Sharon S January 28, 2012 Not a problem if you have mafia relatives in the family! 0 likes Reply bschooled January 28, 2012 At first, I couldn’t stop laughing at this. But then I looked up, and I swear the doll in the top left hand corner said (in what can only be described as a Bobcat Goldthwaite-meets-Fran Drescher voice), “LaughagainandImgonnafindyouandcutyouupsomethingfierce…” 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 1, 2012 I’ve spent the last week unable to get work done trying to figure out what a Bobcat Goldthwaite-meets-Fran Drescher voice sounds like. Thanks. 0 likes Reply Tricia January 30, 2012 Yes I would definitely choose a different house to rob and I might also never sleep with the lights off again! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 3, 2012 You’re welcome. 0 likes Reply Jen January 31, 2012 I like the whole idea of keeping the Jehova’s Witnesses away too. I will need to use this trick next time we go out of town. You have such great housekeeping tips. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 3, 2012 I do my best. And what with the extinction of fire breathing guard dragons, what can you do? 0 likes Reply Jen Has A Pen February 2, 2012 The hell??? This is so funny. I’m stressed about it. Where does one even get such gnarly doll heads? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 3, 2012 Though a disturbing number of people on Facebook actually believed this is my home, it is actually a picture from the “island of dolls” – a creepy place often covered in paranormal investigations. 0 likes Reply Jen Has A Pen February 5, 2012 I would TOTALLY agree that this place is totally haunted. Totally. 0 likes Joshua February 14, 2012 There was a downloadable expansion to Fallout 3 where you’re walking through the swampy land of Point Lookout, Maryland in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. There are these dolls hanging everywhere. Superstition and what not. Really creepy at night. And by “at night” I’m not talking game nighttime, but if you’re playing when it’s dark outside, it’s especially creeptastic. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 I miss video games like that. I had to go on the wagon because when I have them, I can’t do anything BUT. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!