Email This Post HomeHumorHow ToHow to Spot Social Media Peer Pressure Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 How To, Humor, Women's Humor 15 Comments My friend has been going through a social media frenzy. She has already bullied me into joining Klout.com, a site that tells you how “influential” you are online. I don’t know what that means, but they did give me a free $15 iTunes card, and it turns out I am “influential” about hurricanes and robots. Who knew? I’m much more diverse and fascinating than I ever dreamed! Thank you, Klout! FourSquare.com appeared on my friend’s radar and she initiated peer pressure procedures. Now I know how kids end up on crack. FourSquare, if you don’t know, is a web site where you can “check-in” and tell the world where you are at any given time. If you check-in more often than anyone else, you can become “Mayor” of that place, or win digital “badges” that you can’t even stitch on a sash and wear with pride at camp until the counselors call your mom and she makes you take it off. When you check-in, you can also leave a comment about that establishment. For instance, you could “check-in” while at a strip club and leave a note like “There is an usually large number of naked women in this place, but the food is awesome!” The next time someone else on FourSquare checks-in at that spot, they will see your comment and know to order the steak tartar, which normally, is a dicey move in a strip club. If that makes you think: “Wait, in his distopian novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell wrote about the horrors of Big Brother watching us all, and now we PURPOSELY tell the world where we are?” then YES!, you are probably an English Major (high five). I like to support English Majors, because I was one and I know there’s a slim chance you’re gainfully employed. Say “hi” to your mom for me. She’s upstairs. If you think: “Doesn’t announcing your location make it easy for stalkers to murder you?” then you probably write for a mystery dramedy like Castle, or something that starts with ‘CSI.’ Or, you’re just paranoid and, ironically, also totally, totally right. So, to help you spot the signs of Social Media Peer Pressure and avoid being murdered, and because my pressury friend is also my funny friend, I’d like to share our FourSquare conversation: Friend: I’m on FourSquare now, and I like it. Your competitive ass would love it. Also, it links to Klout. Me: For the love of… doesn’t FourSquare require leaving the house? I’m pretty sure I’m the “mayor of my house” and really, it’s all I’ve ever strived to be. Strove? Striven? Friend: You can get mayorships AND badges…and please lord do NOT tell me that you “don’t need no stinkin’ badges…” Me: (pissed that she knows me so well that she can stop me from doing annoying things that I really enjoy) Well. You just took all the fun out of replying to this email, didn’t you? Nice. But seriously, if I join one more social media site my head is going to explode. And I don’t need no stinkin’ badges. Friend: Buuuuuuuttt its fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn…comeoun. That’s how you spell “come on” with a Baltimore accent…just like Joan Jett: ‘and seu on and seu on and scoouby douby doub… Shit. Now I have that song in my head. Who self inflicts Joan Jett hell? This doesn’t bode well for my day. Me: I had Crimson and Clover in my head for a week recently. Crimson and Cleuver. I think we just like doing Baltimore accents and Joan Jett is collateral damage. Friend: Possibly. Get on fucking FourSquare. Me: I could, but A. it will be like publicly logging the fact I hate leaving the house (except for eating out) and B. I’ll become Queen Empress of All Time of the local liquor/wine store so fast someone will kidnap me and take me to AA just on principle, which C. means leaving the house. It’s a vicious cycle. Friend: Join. FourSquare. Me: I just told Mike (my husband) about this and he said “Who the hell said YOU’RE Mayor of the house?” so I might have to join to prove it. Friend: Yea! aaaaaaand *scene.* So guess who is on FourSquare now? But it has totally helped my Klout score. My friend and I are having dinner this week to “talk about social media.” Somebody help me. I’ll check-in so you can find me. Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Book Release – You want The Girl Who Wants (I promise) - September 9, 2020 My Zoo: Critter videos: Bobcats, Armadillos, Tortoises oh my, giveaway and book deals - August 27, 2020 Pineapple Hurricane Finally 99c, My New Exercise, Win Kindles - August 19, 2020 15 Responses Abby October 26, 2011 I swear I’ve already commented on this post, but maybe it’s just social media overload. Am I nuts? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 Nope, you’re not going nuts. It was Studio 30+ ‘s post for last Friday, and you commented on that site, but I hadn’t put it on here yet for all the non studio people to see. So, actually, yes, that probably makes it social media overload! 0 likes Reply Name (Required) October 26, 2011 After commenting about this at studiothirty I read it to my wife. She pointed out to me that this was insane. Yesterday, she stopped at the drugstore and bought a couple of embarrasing things. Well, my wife doesn’t embarrass. In face, you, her, and Abby should be bFFs. There is no shame gland or gene among you three. Anyway, popping up on foursquare where you are is just inviting judgement from jerks. She told me she would end up in jail for punching people out for commenting her facebook about what she was buying at Walgreens. plus, you become an expert on pads with wings just saying 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 I’m am actually chock full of shame, thank you very much. And your wife sounds kind of violent. 🙂 0 likes Reply Jessica October 26, 2011 I am way to paranoid that people have an actual interest in stalking me to do four square. And I have absolutely made the 1984 reference about it, but alas I was an English MINOR and have somehow managed to find employment, but it’s non-profit and doesn’t pay very well. Oh look at that, I just became Commissioner of Brokesville! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 It’s the minor in English that keeps you from becoming filthy rich. 0 likes Reply renni October 26, 2011 Can you lie on FourSqare? ‘Cause I would just constantly say I’m at the zoo, like every 5 minutes. ” Oooh, polar bear! Oooh, rhino! Oooh, grey wolf!” 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 27, 2011 You can, but it is hard if the spot isn’t nearby AND you stop getting points for it after the first one in a day… but I like that idea! 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 26, 2011 I have low stalker self-esteem. I’m always of the opinion of “who gives a shit where I am?” Plus, like you, I don’t leave the house, so why in the world wouldn’t you just murder me there as opposed to in public where there may be witnesses? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 Good point. I’m not hard to find! 0 likes Reply Cordelia October 26, 2011 How’d you get an iTunes card? Are you Kloutier than I am? 😛 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 26, 2011 It was an offer to people 50 or more and I happened to be sitting in front of my computer the second the email about it was sent. I haven’t seen anything near that good since! 0 likes Reply Misty October 26, 2011 I like the fact that you’re multi-lingual!!! Not everyone can pull off a Boston accent!!! Hey! If the murderers find you, speak Bostonian…they won’t know its you. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 27, 2011 We were doing a BALTIMORE accident… but I can speak Boston too. How do you like them apples?? 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!