That happened to me recently. Got ready to go somewhere, hopped in my car and…
What is that SMELL?
Late to get my car inspected, no time to see if someone had stuffed a body in my trunk again, I took off, windows open to enable breathing sans puking.
By the time I’d reached the inspection station the smell had gotten a bit better, but without the wind whistling by it regained a foothold. Before I could figure out the cause of the stench, it was my turn.
I pulled my car into the inspection bay and the man asked me to hop out. I smiled, opened my door and stepped out. He smiled and leaned into the car. He stopped. He sniffed. And then turned to glance at me.
He wasn’t smiling.
I opened my mouth to say “It wasn’t ME!” but he turned away, clearly disgusted.
Inspector guy thinks I left him a stinky gift for his troubles. Great.
As the man backed out of my car he stopped and looked at something on the inside of the driver’s door. Again, he looked at me.
He looked away before I could launch into a story about how my car reeks and that the smell was there BEFORE I GOT IN and no, I hadn’t eaten low tide mud for breakfast, why do you ask?
He made his way back to the tailpipe shaking his head, no doubt happy to get away from MY tailpipe.
Testing over, I got back in the stinky car and noticed this thing in the side panel of my door.
Bag of poop.
I had taken Gordon Labradoodle to the vet and at the last minute grabbed that morning walk’s bag of poop. I didn’t know if the doctor needed some poop for Gordon’s poop test and I didn’t want them to have to dig for some. No one likes that.
Turns out poop was not a requirement for the day and my thoughtful gesture now made me look like a poop hording poo gremlin that travels around with a bag of poop at her side, spreading poop across the land. Like a rancid Johnny Appleseed.
I was Johnny Poopyseed.
I drove home, mortified, and properly disposed of the poop.
So my question is:
Do they make pine tree car air fresheners in Actual Size?