Email This Post HomeProduct ReviewsGain Free & Instant Twitter Followers – Twiends Review Amy Vansant September 14, 2011 Product Reviews 15 Comments Gain Free, Instant Twitter Followers? Sure. Get Twiends. Get a hooker while you’re at it. Can you find Twitter Love using social tools like Twiends? Sure. Just like you can find love with a foreign hooker. She’s there, she wants you, you put some money and effort into her, and then she’s gone. In between, you couldn’t understand a word she said and now you feel like you need a shower. But it was just so temptingly easy… It’s official: I’ve become the people I once mocked. I wouldn’t even join a sorority in college because I thought it was just “Rent-a-Friend.” At the time, I actually had some shirts made for myself and some like-minded girls in my dorm, by the same company who made the REAL Greek letter pride tees. Sigma-Lambda-Upsilon-Tao. SLUT. We wore them to mock the girls going through rush, who, it turns out, can give a dirty look like nobody’s business. Rush apparently makes you pretty cranky. Flash forward an uncomfortably large number of years later, and I find myself staring at the number next to “Followers” on my Twitter account with the same crazed eyes I once witnessed on future Tri-Delts. My cheek twitches. I break. I’ll admit it: I was behind the curve when it came to Twitter. I’d been enjoying my life on Facebook (late to the party there, as well), where if I wanted to use more than 140 characters to express a thought, I have the nerd-given right to do so. Then I started Kid-Free Living, and thought maybe I should have a Twitter account just in case. I signed-up, but other than posting links to my articles, didn’t pay any attention to it for several months. Then one day, a strange little worry-squirrel starting gnawing at my nutty-flavored soul. Could NOT being an active member of the Twitterverse be a sign of aging? Was I out of touch? Getting old? Getting 100s of free and instant twitter followers with friends is thrilling at first… I checked my account and was surprised to find 60 something followers. Not bad, I thought. Until I started looking at other people’s accounts. People who literally posted “What up ya’ll?” fifty times a day had 200, 4000, 10000 followers. What the…? Could it be that easy to get 1000+ followers For a week and a half I put EFFORT into it. I tweeted. I followed people I found amusing. I researched. I started to really enjoy it. That’s where they got me. When I saw Twitter’s value, I wanted to be better at it. At the end of that week I had 77 followers. Actually, every night I had 79 followers, every morning I woke up to 77. At that rate I would have 1000 followers somewhere around… never. On Facebook, I could run an ad. People with interests that matched mine would see the ad, and “like” Kid-Free Living’s Facebook page. Some would leave, most would stay; it was all very logical. People have to know you exist, after all. I was just alerting them to my presence, here and there, without spending too much money on it. But there didn’t seem any way to do that on Twitter. Clearly, I was missing something. More research led me to Twiends.com, which seemed like the “Facebook advertising” missing from Twitter. The concept was simple – you sign up, choose your interests, and are then presented with a list of people desperately looking to find followers as well. Each is offering X amount of “beans” for following them. When you follow them YOU get the beans, and then you have beans to offer other people to following you. When you join Twiends, you get a little starter patch of beans. I didn’t realize that, and didn’t notice them, until I saw that I had just received five new followers in about 2 seconds. I get it, they are MAGIC beans! But now I was out of them. Want. More. Beans. There are two ways to get beans. Follow other people (thus taking their beans) or buy beans. Everything out there says DON’T BUY BEANS. Why would you? All you have to do is follow people, take their beans, and then unfollow them at your leisure. So enraptured with my sudden increase of fans was I, that I missed the obvious flaw in Twiends logic. Everyone is just using everyone else. Follow, take beans, get followed, unfollow. Over and over and over again. I knew I didn’t want to follow people just for their beans. It seemed morally wrong to follow a lawn care service in Chicago just to get 6 beans. I had no interest in them. So I bought 1250 beans for $30 and let loose the bean dogs. I jumped from 77 fans to nearly 300 in just a couple of hours. As the email notifications for new users started to roll in, the awful truth FINALLY hit me. Half of my new followers didn’t even speak (or more importantly, read) my language. And by that I don’t necessarily mean they were foreign. Others had WILDLY different interests. Just a few examples: 57 people whose only bio note was “I’ll follow you back!” (Why? You don’t even know me! Whore!) A lot of people noting that they are “A kind loving friend.” (I want readers, and people I want to follow with similar interests – I already have a dog.) Braggers: “I’m a pro and you are looking like the prototype!” or “I am a very cool person!” (Um, ok. Sure.) Bieber fans. A self-confessed 6 year old. Bios made entirely of random characters (how do they do that??) and hashtag words. Other fan pages: “I love Chris Brown & his MUSIC! Respect me, I respect you ;)” (Right, when I think Chris Brown, my first thought is the really respectful way he beat the crap out of Rihanna.) Uncomfortably inspirational bios that find unique ways to use the word “loving” 65 times. Some people who are either really angry, or think anger will be perceived as “cool” – “Don’t like me? .. then f*ck you!” “Like my tweets? RT them.. Hate ’em? I wish I can give a f*ck.” And my favorite: “F*ck a bio, and the mothafuckas reading this shit!” Keep in mind all these people were using a service to try and get more followers. “The sweetest bitch I’ll ever know.” What appears to be a 35 year old man who only wants Miley Cyrus lovers to follow him. (Anyone know where I can report him?) People very easily amused: “Your readin My Bio , Who Does That ? Obviously You …. Lmfao !” (You misspelled “Your!” Lmfao!) How could I have been so stupid? This was no way to find people who would enjoy my writing. No way to find people whom I would find interesting. Hell, the sororities at least had themes – the pretty girls, the southern girls, the party girls, the girls that couldn’t get into any of the other sororities (often also known as the “smart” girls). I returned to Twiend and found some additional controls that would spend the remainder of my beans by having my ad only shown to people who had high retention rates and had been using Twiend for more than a few hours. That definitely throttled the outpouring of followers, but didn’t do much for improving relevance. I did end up following back about five people and we five seem to be mutual admirers. My 300 followers dwindled back down to 197 after a few days. I’m sure most of the others will be gone by the time I post this. I can’t consider it a victory that I have a few extra fans, because I know most of them just haven’t thought to drop me yet, or are quite possibly mindless bots, pedophiles or worse… Bieber Fans. The only good use for Twiends? If you start a new Twitter account and you want to look like you don’t have ZERO followers while you do something more useful like Tweepi. The only bonus? I love saying Twiends. It’s a great way to practice your Elmer Fudd impersonation. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Turtles Cover Reveal, Today Show Segment, Giveaway and Book Deals - October 9, 2019 More Kilty Sales, Scardy-Dog, Giveaways and Book Deals! - October 2, 2019 New Release! Kilty Secrets & Kilty as Charged 99c, plus giveaways and more deals - September 27, 2019 15 Responses Abby September 14, 2011 Like you, I’m way late to the Twitter game and marvel at the fact people have a gazillion followers. However, I follow very few people–I have social media ADD and no desire to spend 23 hours a day retweeting things–so I guess I don’t deserve to have a gazillion followers, even if I’m better than everyone else (kidding.) I had never heard of Twiends. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I follow you on Twitter. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. 😉 Thank for the review! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 14, 2011 If I can save one person’s self respect by keeping them away from tools like this, my work here is done. I much prefer having people like you follow me back! 0 likes Reply Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 14, 2011 I’ve never heard of Twiends. When I started reading, I thought, “THE HELL? I NEED THIS NEW FANGLED SOCIALLING!” but now, yeah, no. I’m not signing up. One rule of the internet: don’t pay for followers, pay for blow jobs. Or, that was maybe a college motto. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 16, 2011 Wait, they’re supposed to PAY for the blow jobs?? Damn. I should have a lot more money. 0 likes Reply Amy B September 15, 2011 Never heard of Twiends. But I also really suck at the social media thing. Twitter is a new(er) concept to me and I will admit that I suck at it. Getting myself into conversations I can’t keep up with… tiny urls…. pictures… the twitter app on my phone… what? If my resistence of the social media apps means my blog will stay small, that’s cool with me. I’m too lazy for that noise. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 16, 2011 I feel your pain. Even though I’ve discovered Twitter is a whole other audience than Facebook, I still find it hard to keep up on it all. It so THERE and then GONE two seconds later. Did I miss something good? Did I post when people were paying attention? 0 likes Reply Ed Philly September 15, 2011 I actually tried the Twiends and had a similar experience. It was especially hard for me, as I just naturally dislike people, and am very picky about who I follow. This was a good read, I imagine you’re doing just fine without Twiends anyway! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 16, 2011 Well thank you kind sir…Go Eagles! (I’m from South Jersey). 0 likes Reply bschooled September 16, 2011 If this post was a Twitter account, I would never unfollow it even if it defriended me on Facebook. I am curious to know where you find your foreign hookers, though. Mine never seem to go away. I come home and find them sitting cop a squat in front of the television, watching Nickelodeon and quoting iCarly… 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 16, 2011 We get the throw-away kind – like contacts. It is a little more expensive but worth it in the long run. A truck comes and picks them up after we bag them. 0 likes Reply Basia September 16, 2011 One of these days, I will join Twitter and I will follow you. Until then, stories like these keep me far, far away from it! Sounds like a high school popularity contest, except this time I don’t have to shave my legs or stuff my boobs? On second thought, count me in. 0 likes Reply Triplezmom October 10, 2011 I was late to the party on Twitter too. And now I know not to try to up my follower count with Twiends. 0 likes Reply Jonathan January 3, 2012 I gave this service a try, with a degree of skepticisim from the start. Turns out I was right. Complete waste of effort (and money). 0 likes Reply Michelle March 13, 2013 I tried Twiends before and I got the same results. I got up to like 300 followers and now I’m down to 87. I think I’d rather just good old quality followers anyway. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!