Email This Post HomeHumorMother’s Day: Quotes from Crazy Mommas Amy Vansant May 11, 2014 Humor 2 Comments Me and Mom. She is very short. Moms are great. But they are totally nuts. It isn’t their fault. Raising children would make anyone crazy. And half the time, they’re crazy just trying to be nice. It’s like love oozes out of their pores in the form of insanity sweat. Take my favorite conversation between my mother-in-law and my husband: Mike: Ma, our plane gets there at 3. Mary my mother-in-law: Ok I made pasta! Mike: Amy doesn’t like sauce. She just likes it with butter and cheese. Mary: Oh.. ok, I’ll make a pink sauce, too! Mike: Ma, she doesn’t like sauce. Just butter and cheese. Mary: Ok. I’ll make a white sauce! I know how to do that! Mike: MA SHE DOESN’T WANT SAUCE! NO SAUCE! Mary: Well I’ll just make a little of each sauce then… And the conversation I had with my mother a THIS MORNING: Mom: What was that text message? Me: You mean the group message with you, dad and Derek? (my brother). Mom: Yes, that. Me: You mean where I said “whatever you do, don’t talk about what a dork Derek is because this is a group message with him?” Mom: Yes. (sounding very serious) Me: It was a joke. Mom: We don’t get it. Me: IT’S A GROUP MESSAGE. You’re all reading it, and I’m saying “don’t talk about Derek like you usually do” but Derek is getting that message… get it? Mom: No. Me: I said “If Derek sees you talking about him it will destroy his fragile ego.” Mom: I know! (horrified) Me: MOM – Derek is 90% ego. There is nothing fragile about his ego. HE WAS IN ON THE MESSAGE. Get it? It was a joke. Mom: *pause* We don’t get it. If I tweet/post that I was pulled over by Russian police for the sake of a joke on social media, my mother will email me: Where did you run into Russian police??? Are you ok?? Gotta love ’em! Happy Mother’s Day to All the NUTS! Read more about my mother’s foibles (and those of many other funny ladies) by buying the amazing book “Moms Are Nuts!” Featuring 25 hilarious people you already love: Wendi Aarons | Eliza Bayne | Dylan Brody | Matthew David Brozik | Becky Cardwell | Abbi Crutchfield | Sean Crespo | Gloria Fallon | Carol Ray Hartsell | Abby Heugel | Debbie Kasper | Nancy Davis Kho | Kelcey Kintner | Cathy Ladman | Kurt Luchs | Kelly MacLean | Vanda Mikoloski | Mary Laura Philpott | Lisa Page Rosenberg | Marinka | Arlene Schindler | Molly Schoemann | Susan Stobbart Shapiro | Suzy Soro | Amy Vansant | Peggy “Pearl” Vork-Zambory And check out our “Blooper Reel” from the peanut cover shoot! Get our “funny quote trading cards” for Pinteresting! About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) A Screaming Bobcat, Another Free Book, Giveaway, Steals & Deals! - February 5, 2020 A Thank You & Free Short Story, Pineapple Disco 99c, Win a Kindle Reader - January 30, 2020 Two Big Favors (YOU can get me on TV), Giveaways and Deals - January 22, 2020 2 Responses karen May 11, 2014 Lovely picture of you and your Mom! 0 likes Reply Katie May 14, 2014 Mums are hilarious. My mum thought lol meant lots of love, and was very touched that my teenage brother kept filling his texts to her with it. “No, Mum; he’s laughing at you…”. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!