*this could become a regular series.
When you graduate Salutatorian it can give you the idea that you’re pretty smart.
Then, when you look back and realize you were Salutatorian of your eighth grade class…
Of 12…
It seems less impressive.
Thoughts like that don’t hit you until your late 30s or so, because prior to that you know everything in the world. Sure, you put a few pennies into electrical sockets,but that doesn’t prove anything. Why would someone electrify a slot so OBVIOUSLY meant for a penny? Electricians are stupid.
Once the inkling that you might not know everything starts to creep, suddenly, evidence is everywhere. It’s like that Bones episode where you guess the killer in the first ten minutes. You know that one? The one that was on from 2005 until the last time it aired?
Mounting evidence I might not be that bright #1:
I hit me yesterday, in the shower, that I had listened to “Gangnam Style” in the shower every day for two weeks. Not only is it an empty piece of pop drivel but:
- I bang my elbow on the shower wall every time I try to do the “giddy-up horsey” move. Any idiot knows you can’t properly pretend to throw a lasso in a shower stall and that escaping cattle rarely hide in a shower stall. Still, I persist.
- The “slide across the floor” move is actually quite dangerous in a shower and you can only move 2 inches before moving back to the starting point and beginning again.
- I now actually believe I’ve translated the Korean phonetically including such moving lyrics as: “Summer Hair!” “Silence is golden…” and “Korean I don’t know.” (That last line being the only bit that is certainly correct.)
- I actually drew a picture on my Aqua Notes of a dragon (one of the few things I can draw) to ACCOMPANY me during my shower performances.
Smart people don’t do things like this. Stephen Hawking doesn’t dance in his shower to terrible foreign pop songs.
Ok, bad example, but you get what I mean.
- A question on book titles & raccoon drama - January 15, 2021
- New Year Puppy - January 11, 2021
- New Release 99c, plus another, plus why the neighbors hate me now - December 15, 2020
Don’t feel bad. I can’t even dance in the shower right now because I sprained my foot running down the stairs two weeks after I opened a freezer door on my head, resulting in a mild concussion.
Smart people don’t do things like this, but they’re also a little bit boring. I like us.
It’s because you don’t eat meat. Have a hamburger and your bones won’t snap. It’s a medical fact. Or the Burger King decreed it. One of those.
SUCH a stereotype. I would prefer the stereotype that I’m Polish and clumsy, thankyouverymuch 😉
Waaaiiit a minute…That waterproof notepad in the shower? Sheer brilliance! Stop listening to that crazy inner (dumb) voice.
It’s for “shower thinkers” (or dancers, as the case may be… http://www.myaquanotes.com/
Actually I translated the main chorus of Gangnam Style as “it feels so good to take so much money from dumb americans”.
You’re too awesome to be “unbright”
You’re too kind. Well, for what it’s worth, the 99 cents I spent on it, I got a blog out of it…
There’s a thing as waterproof notepads?!?!? Dear god, with that kind of technology at your hands how could you not be drawing dragons and witches in the shower.
What’s a salutatorian again?
Salutatorian is second place. I think. I thought so. But I just said I’m not that bright so…
Watch a bunch of bad horror movies, or some Law and Order SVU, those always make me feel smart. Five minutes in you’re yelling at everyone because you know everything thats going to happen. This is also fun if you want to pretend to be psychic. I like to yell after they characters do something I specifically said not to do “Nobody listens to me”. Except in movie theaters, then everyone is listening to me, and somewhat irritated. But I’ve taken xanax before hand, so they don’t know that I don’t care, and that my “inside” voice is no longer functional.
We watched “Die Hard with a Vengeance” last night and I felt like a GENIUS.
Even with the Penny Thing, you’re still ahead of me. I once bit an electrical cord (which was plugged in, mind you), because I couldn’t pull it out of the wall. (It was in my way.) It shocked my 4-year old ass across the room and scared the bejesus out of my mother.
Still, I don’t think I have too many side effeslasgoghosadgth
Yikes – at least you were 4. I though you were going to say it was yesterday…
Now, when I play with my trucks, I use the middle of the floor.
You are just cleverly multitasking, combining your shower with your dance workout–cleans off the sweat as it happens! It sounds like a good plan to me.
I love that note pad! It may stop me from talking to myself in the shower and the cat going crazy outside the bathroom, thinking I am talking to him.
It would be hard to lasso animals in the shower because they would be all soapy and slip out of the noose.
I have never seen a notepad in the shower before. I’m not sure if this is sheer brilliance or a disturbing use of one’s time while showering. Although, I don’t seem to get light bulb moments in the shower.
I’m impressed you attempt the horsey-lasso type move. I have neither the self-confidence nor the chutzpah to even try.
A notepad in the shower… actually that might not be such a bad idea. I could write things I’m not meant to forget on it and… oh who am I kidding… nothing will make me more efficient in the morning.
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my weblog thus i came
to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things
to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!