Email This Post HomeHumorMy Mother-in-Law Practical Jokes My Husband Amy Vansant September 17, 2014 Humor, Practical Jokes, Travel Humor, Women's Humor 5 Comments I recently came back from visiting my Mother-in-Law near Sarasota, Florida, where my husband’s favorite hobby is teasing his mother about Florida-retiree cliches. Golf carts, sweat, swimming aerobics, fried beach hut food, more sweat, having to walk the dog so it isn’t carried away by gators or panthers (or gators and panthers who have worked out some sort of hunting partnership)… you name it. Water Aerobics. The horror, the horror. But my Mother-in-Law had her revenge. We were on our way to the pool at her community. I was poking through her endless array of visors, having remembered that the heat and sun in Florida is more like Mars than Earth. Did I want glittery? Thatch? Pink? Neoprene? Be-speckled with tiny Flamingos wearing sunglasses? Settling on a plain white visor with a brim curved to emulate the world’s twistiest roller coaster, I waited in the hall with my Mother-in-Law, Mary, for my husband, Mike, to return from a quick trip to the bathroom. We watched as he exited the bathroom and flicked the light switch on and off several times. He stood in the hall, hands on hips, peering into the bathroom, befuddled. “I can’t get this light to turn off, Ma,” he said, flicking the light a fifth time. “Kick your leg in there,” said Mary. Mike looked at us. “What?” he asked. “Kick your leg. Just stand in the hall and kick your leg into the bathroom,” she said. “That will turn it off.” “Seriously?” said Mike, assuming this was another nutty thing Florida-retiree bathrooms did, like spontaneously sprout tissue box cozies. “It’s so stupid,” Mary huffed, as if she wrestled with the light every morning following the preparation of her standard 9-course breakfast. (Did you know if you eat yogurt every morning you’ll never have heartburn? Did you know these are the greatest peaches in the world? Did you know the mango jelly is homemade?) Mike kicked his leg into the bathroom like a Rockette. I could see the light still shining. “Kick!” said Mary. “Really kick!” Mike kicked several more times and waved his arms for good measure. He’s so tall and thin he looked like Kermit the Frog having an epileptic seizure. “Ma!” he said. “It isn’t working!” Confused how these goofy machinations could ever work, I squinted at Mary. “It’s on a motion sensor?” I asked. She grinned and winked at me as Mike danced in and out of the bathroom. “It’s a skylight,” she said, as we both burst into tears of laughter. 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AUTHORS: Wendi Aarons | Eliza Bayne | Dylan Brody | Matthew David Brozik | Becky Cardwell | Abbi Crutchfield | Sean Crespo | Gloria Fallon | Carol Ray Hartsell | Abby Heugel | Debbie Kasper | Nancy Davis Kho | Kelcey Kintner | Cathy Ladman | Kurt Luchs | Kelly Maclean | Vanda Mikolowski | Mary Laura Philpott | Lisa Page Rosenberg | Marinka | Arlene Schindler | Molly Schoemann | Susan Stobbart Shapiro | Suzy Soro | Amy Vansant | Peggy “Pearl” Vork-Zambory “These essays are so good and so funny, it makes me mad that I don’t know a lot of these writers. Wait…that’s the kind of back handed compliment you’d get from an obnoxious mom. Curses!” – Laraine Newman, original Saturday Night Live cast member “I laughed and cried and loved Moms Are Nuts. Each writer turned their nutty memories into the sweetest lemonade.” – wendy liebman, comedian About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Florida is a Jungle, Shortbread Recipe, Fantasy Giveaway and Book Deals - September 11, 2019 Hurricane Blows By, Win a Kindle Reader & More Deals - September 4, 2019 Winners of the Name the Movie Contest, Cover Animation, Giveaways… - August 29, 2019 5 Responses Katie September 17, 2014 Bahaha – amazeballs! It’s things like this that make me thank Baby Jesus for the internet. How else could one share such stories so quickly with hundreds of strangers?! xxx 1 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 19, 2014 And that’s exactly why my husband hates social media! 0 likes Reply Sarcastic Ninja September 21, 2014 That is a pretty good joke – I particularly like the image of Kermit having an epileptic seizure. However, thanks to you I am now concerned about the risk of gator-panther doubleteaming. Actually, that sounds like it could be the premise of a great B-movie. 0 likes Reply Ian Hicken October 16, 2014 Excellent – what goes around comes around… 0 likes Reply EM Kaplan October 16, 2014 Hahahaha. OMG. This is the best. =) 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!