Email This Post HomeHumorVisualsMystery of the Missing Sock Solved Amy Vansant July 12, 2013 Visuals 15 Comments The Missing Sock: Where does it go? I don’t know about you, but I can never find matching socks. The other day I was all ready to go on a walk with the dog, excited to finally get to wear my new Nike kicks, I open my drawer, and bam! It’s a singles group. The socks are in there speed dating. It’s MisMatch.com. Which come to think of it, would be an awesome parody site. There are times when I have one of nearly ten pairs of socks. Where does the missing sock go? The Missing Sock Detective So, like anyone, I hired a Missing Sock Detective who brought me back the following disturbing video. This movie is not for the fainthearted. Largely because I didn’t clean my house or my car or my socks before it was filmed. I’m not sure why Missing Sock Detective only does surveillance with Vine videos, but he took a fifth of vodka for payment, so I can’t complain. And he had an arty way of including title cards. Poor bastard probably used to be some sort of artist/director/blogger/writer/actor, which explains why he didn’t mind working for nothing. But seriously, you just have to remember that when you’re making a Vine video it only records when you touch the screen of your phone. So I stood in front of the card and filmed it. Then I got into the car, backed it down the driveway a little, got out of the car, jogged back up to the top of the driveway where I was standing the first time so the perspective would be the same, filmed a little, ran back down to the car, sat on the sock, apologized, backed the car into the street, got out of the car, ran back to the top of the driveway, filmed it a little again, ran back down, moved the car again… etc. The stop motion just gives the illusion of continuous movement. Here’s the info on how to make a Vine Video yourself if you’re interested: (an excerpt from my Vine video article) What is a Vine Video? A Vine video is just a video, but you make it with the Vine video app. In short, all the Vine video app does is provide an interface that triggers the video record when you touch your screen, and stops it when you remove your finger from the screen. After 6 seconds (well, actually 6.4 seconds) the video ends. That’s it. You get 6 seconds of video. The point is to encourage people to share very short videos much the way Twitter encourages people to share every nuance of their day in micro-bursts. The bonus is that you can take a little video, change something, take a little more, change something… much like stop motion photography. With regular phone video, when you stop, the video is over, and you’d have to edit various clips together to achieve what Vine video does. How to Make a Vine Video Download the Vine video app to your phone. Be sure it is a cell phone, because old fashion rotary phones have very low bandwidth. Ta da! You have the Vine video app! Now open it and tap on the little video camera in the upper right to take your first video. Point at something interesting. Touch the screen. See the little progress bar at the top? When that fills up, your video is done, and you’ll see a preview of it. It loops eternally, which can be funny or annoying. Delete, upload/share or just ignore your video. Tips for Vine Videos I learned a few things while trying to make my Vine video. When you finish a Vine video, you are immediately confronted with a screen that asks you to share it. This caused me a lot of anxiety. I didn’t want to share it, but I didn’t want to lose it. Don’t worry, it is automatically saved to your camera roll. You can share it later if you like. After finally getting it into my head that videos look better when you hold your camera horizontally (landscape), I discovered Vine video only works holding the camera vertically, which is why when I proudly shared my first Vine video on Twitter and the Vine video site, it was sideways. Which I didn’t realize. I thought it would correct. Not so much. Be conscious of noise. Remember it records sounds too, so if you’re talking while you’re doing your little micro-bursts, it will sound like “eh- bu- de- soup- bur- ha-” when you’re done. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Winners of the name the puppy contest, giveaways and deals - May 17, 2019 Name the puppy in Pineapple 9, BIG giveaway and deals - May 8, 2019 Giant Sale-Going out of Business Closeout, Giveaways and Deals - April 25, 2019 15 Responses Abby July 12, 2013 The divorce rate among my socks is rather disturbing, but I just figured it was a reflection of my own commitment issues. Perhaps I need to hire my own Sock Squad to investigate. Then again, maybe I’ll just save that money and buy a new 6-pack of socks. 0 likes Reply Bluzdude July 12, 2013 I haven’t had a missing sock in almost 30 years. The trick? I safety pin them together. (Except for when they’re on my feet, of course.). Works like a charm, plus you never have to sort or match them up again. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2013 Pin the little suckers down – excellent! 0 likes Reply Beduwen July 12, 2013 I like to think that the missing socks randomly appear in other people’s dryers along with their own socks. I can just picture them standing there holding up the errant sock and saying, “Where the hell did this come from?” 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2013 So this Winnie the Pooh and Piglet locked in a passionate embrace sock I found is yours? 0 likes Reply beduwen July 12, 2013 🙂 0 likes Deb July 12, 2013 Oh how cute!!! I finally got the video! I was using my phone last night and I couldn’t see the vid. That’s adorable. lol 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2013 Thanks! It makes me a little seasick to watch it, but I couldn’t bear the idea of doing it over, damn Vine. 0 likes Reply Tiffany N. York July 12, 2013 I never ever find my missing socks, and yet I save the lone one forever in hopes of the mate one day showing back up, claiming he got lost on the way to get that pack of cigarettes… 1 likes Reply Diane Radel July 12, 2013 It does solve the mystery of the missing socks, as well as the mystery of what that car was doing in my driveway. Impressed by your always humorous blog, of course, but also by your mastery of all things blog/twitter/fb and now Vine. Too much for a newbie like me. 🙂 (Oh, is it bad to use smiley faces?) 0 likes Reply Suzanne Lucas July 13, 2013 Up until now, I was sure that my dryer was a time machine, sending socks back in time to meet their parents when they were dating. Thanks for sharing this great video. Now I just need to hide the car keys. 0 likes Reply Pinky Poinker July 13, 2013 I love that video! Ha! My husband counted 19 odd socks in his drawer recently. Now I know what happened to them, 0 likes Reply Megly Mc July 13, 2013 Because I’m an asshole that buys the ten-pack rainbow pack of socks from Costco, my socks are so mismatched that my OCD has flipped, and now I’m afraid to wear matching socks. Seriously…if I have two of those fuckers on, that are even in the same color family…something bad is going to happen to my parents. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 15, 2013 You sound like a good candidate for the pinning together of the socks idea mentioned earlier up in the comments… 0 likes Reply Emma August 4, 2013 Ahah! Mystery solved. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!