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Mystery of the Missing Sock Solved

Missing sockThe Missing Sock: Where does it go?

I don’t know about you, but I can never find matching socks. The other day I was all ready to go on a walk with the dog, excited to finally get to wear my new Nike kicks, I open my drawer, and bam! It’s a singles group. The socks are in there speed dating.  It’s Which come to think of it, would be an awesome parody site. There are times when I have one of nearly ten pairs of socks. Where does the missing sock go?

The Missing Sock Detective

So, like anyone, I hired a Missing Sock Detective who brought me back the following disturbing video. This movie is not for the fainthearted. Largely because I didn’t clean my house or my car or my socks before it was filmed. I’m not sure why Missing Sock Detective only does surveillance with Vine videos, but he took a fifth of vodka for payment, so I can’t complain. And he had an arty way of including title cards. Poor bastard probably used to be some sort of artist/director/blogger/writer/actor, which explains why he didn’t mind working for nothing.


I had someone ask me how I made this Vine video so I’ll share that.. Specifically, they wanted to know how I did the bit with the car. They couldn’t figure out how the car was moving with no one driving. I explained that my socks aren’t really that big so of course you can’t see their little faces over the steering wheel. Ha!

But seriously, you just have to remember that when you’re making a Vine video it only records when you touch the screen of your phone. So I stood in front of the card and filmed it. Then I got into the car, backed it down the driveway a little, got out of the car, jogged back up to the top of the driveway where I was standing the first time so the perspective would be the same, filmed a little, ran back down to the car, sat on the sock, apologized, backed the car into the street, got out of the car, ran back to the top of the driveway, filmed it a little again, ran back down, moved the car again… etc. The stop motion just gives the illusion of continuous movement.

Here’s the info on how to make a Vine Video yourself if you’re interested: (an excerpt from my Vine video article)

What is a Vine Video?

A Vine video is just a video, but you make it with the Vine video app. In short, all the Vine video app does is provide an interface that triggers the video record when you touch your screen, and stops it when you remove your finger from the screen. After 6 seconds (well, actually 6.4 seconds) the video ends. That’s it. You get 6 seconds of video. The point is to encourage people to share very short videos much the way Twitter encourages people to share every nuance of their day in micro-bursts. The bonus is that you can take a little video, change something, take a little more, change something… much like stop motion photography. With regular phone video, when you stop, the video is over, and you’d have to edit various clips together to achieve what Vine video does.

How to Make a Vine Video

Download the Vine video app to your phone. Be sure it is a cell phone, because old fashion rotary phones have very low bandwidth.

Ta da! You have the Vine video app!

Now open it and tap on the little video camera in the upper right to take your first video. Point at something interesting. Touch the screen. See the little progress bar at the top? When that fills up, your video is done, and you’ll see a preview of it. It loops eternally, which can be funny or annoying. Delete, upload/share or just ignore your video.

Tips for Vine Videos

I learned a few things while trying to make my Vine video.

  • When you finish a Vine video, you are immediately confronted with a screen that asks you to share it. This caused me a lot of anxiety. I didn’t want to share it, but I didn’t want to lose it. Don’t worry, it is automatically saved to your camera roll. You can share it later if you like.
  • After finally getting it into my head that videos look better when you hold your camera horizontally (landscape), I discovered Vine video only works holding the camera vertically, which is why when I proudly shared my first Vine video on Twitter and the Vine video site, it was sideways. Which I didn’t realize. I thought it would correct. Not so much.
  • Be conscious of noise. Remember it records sounds too, so if you’re talking while you’re doing your little micro-bursts, it will sound like “eh- bu- de- soup- bur- ha-” when you’re done.
Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant

Amy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries.
Amy Vansant

15 Responses

  1. Abby

    The divorce rate among my socks is rather disturbing, but I just figured it was a reflection of my own commitment issues. Perhaps I need to hire my own Sock Squad to investigate. Then again, maybe I’ll just save that money and buy a new 6-pack of socks.
    Abby recently posted..Inconsequential Dilemmas and a Giveaway!
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  2. Bluzdude

    I haven’t had a missing sock in almost 30 years. The trick? I safety pin them together. (Except for when they’re on my feet, of course.). Works like a charm, plus you never have to sort or match them up again.
    Bluzdude recently posted..Living in Concert – Part 3
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  3. Deb

    Oh how cute!!! I finally got the video! I was using my phone last night and I couldn’t see the vid. That’s adorable. lol


  4. Diane Radel

    It does solve the mystery of the missing socks, as well as the mystery of what that car was doing in my driveway.
    Impressed by your always humorous blog, of course, but also by your mastery of all things blog/twitter/fb and now Vine. Too much for a newbie like me. 🙂
    (Oh, is it bad to use smiley faces?)
    Diane Radel recently posted..This Much Is Tru-ue
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  5. Pinky Poinker

    I love that video! Ha! My husband counted 19 odd socks in his drawer recently. Now I know what happened to them,


  6. Megly Mc

    Because I’m an asshole that buys the ten-pack rainbow pack of socks from Costco, my socks are so mismatched that my OCD has flipped, and now I’m afraid to wear matching socks. Seriously…if I have two of those fuckers on, that are even in the same color family…something bad is going to happen to my parents.
    Megly Mc recently posted..Same Egg, Dude…Same Egg.



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