Email This Post HomeHumorNew Font Styles Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 Humor 15 Comments Tired of the same old font style buttons? Bold is SO 1983. Italics? That party was over before the cheese dip was cold. Underline? Puh-LEEZE. Underline is as annoying as that aunt who sends emails IN ALL CAPS. I’ve come up with a few ways Microsoft could update their Office suite for the 21st Century by including some new font style choices. These are the little public services I like to perform now and again, when a judge demands it. A Font Style Makeover Gangnam Font Style No video with over 200 million views can be wrong for a font effect. Sure, a Korean Andy Warhol in a neon yellow suit may inexplicably dance across your document, but your boss has secretly been watching the Psy video all day so he can stay “hip” and not end up with another “sexual harassment” suit for not understanding it is wrong to claim you are “down with the bitches” at the office. He won’t care. Kardashian Font Style You won’t be able to fit quite as many letters on a page using Kardashian styling, but your documents will be able to make money with no discernable talents. Just don’t let Kanye try and take the pen out of your hand and talk about what a better writer other girls are. Taylor Swift Font Style I was going to include a Taylor Swift font, but it was dumped. Look for the whole story on her new album “Love is a Sucky Thing, I’m Prettier than Her. PS: I Hate You.” Politics Font Style Adding Politics styling to your document will immediate split the document down party lines and all of your arguments will become so circular & vague as to be rendered useless. You may have one independent clause that sort of appeals to both sides, but no one will read it. The colors on the left and right are just too pretty. Kitteh Font Style Kitteh style ads kittens to your document to distract people from reading the drivel you’ve— uh, you’ve… AWW! KITTY! Auto Correct Font Style I’ve written penis paragraph in auto dick style so you can see how shit perks. It maybe isn’t nazi bean bags but it would make carpets documents more dinosaur lace. Unicorn Font Style Yea! Rainbows! Ok, a little unreadable but what editor wouldn’t be delighted to receive your new novel in Unicorn style? About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Winners of the Fashion Line Contest, Cover Reveal, Giveaways and Book Deals - November 6, 2018 Pineapple Gingerbread Men Released + Recipe - November 1, 2018 Name the Fashion Line Contest – Giveaways, Book Deals & Steals - October 25, 2018 15 Responses Nicole September 26, 2012 I think my students write their papers with auto correct font. Nicole recently posted..ad astra*Add your Twitter: DTUBlog 0 likes Reply Lance September 26, 2012 I think this last round of edits/rewrites for my book will be done in auto correct style. My editor has pissed me off so much, it will be a pleasure to return the favor. Lance recently posted..100 Word Song – I Will Wait 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 Ah, to have an editor to piss off… 🙂 Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply Lib September 26, 2012 This is SO what I needed this morning. The Taylor Swift lyrics? I DIED. Lib recently posted..Bravo’s Sneaky Editors Did It Again!Add your Twitter: thelibaubuchon 0 likes Reply Becca Cord September 26, 2012 Auto correct font style is my favorite (besides kitteh style of course). That damn invention will be my demise. I am SURE of it. Hilarious post! Becca Cord recently posted..Cordial Holiday Meals With The Cords 0 likes Reply Laura R. September 26, 2012 I was going to comment, but I’m too excited by the unicorn. Laura R. recently posted..Medical Oddities 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 I know – I had to finish the post after that. I was exhausted with glee. Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd September 26, 2012 Kanye probably interrupts every word to declare another word the best of all time. Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7 – Decoder ClueAdd your Twitter: cannibal_nerd 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 He probably interrupts himself to talk about how great he is. Amy Vansant recently posted..Pet Yoga 0 likes Reply bill major September 26, 2012 lol thxs again for the laugh amy 0 likes Reply Natalie the Singingfool September 26, 2012 Kitteh Font coming to The Cat Lady Sings… Appropriate, no? Natalie the Singingfool recently posted..The One and Only Time* I Will Post about Weight Gain, Weight Loss, and the Joys of Being Female in 21st Century America (*Maybe. If I Feel Like It) 0 likes Reply Michele Drier September 26, 2012 Do I have to buy the whole Office Suite to get the fonts, or can I just download them?Add your Twitter: MicheleDrier 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 We need to mail the kittens. Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point September 26, 2012 My favorite is the Kitteh Font Style because of… oh look there he is again! Awwwwwww Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..You Aren’t Going to Steal My Shoes Are you?Add your Twitter: PCPPPBlog 0 likes Reply Lady Estrogen October 9, 2012 Wow, that Taylor Swift font would have been glorious. Too bad relationships are just so mean. Lady Estrogen recently posted..When Sexting Goes BadAdd your Twitter: ladyestrogen 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter! you MUST enable javascript to be able to comment You can add a link to follow you on twitter if you put your username in this box.Only needs to be added once (unless you change your username). No http or @
Nicole September 26, 2012 I think my students write their papers with auto correct font. Nicole recently posted..ad astra*Add your Twitter: DTUBlog 0 likes Reply
Lance September 26, 2012 I think this last round of edits/rewrites for my book will be done in auto correct style. My editor has pissed me off so much, it will be a pleasure to return the favor. Lance recently posted..100 Word Song – I Will Wait 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 Ah, to have an editor to piss off… 🙂 Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply
Lib September 26, 2012 This is SO what I needed this morning. The Taylor Swift lyrics? I DIED. Lib recently posted..Bravo’s Sneaky Editors Did It Again!Add your Twitter: thelibaubuchon 0 likes Reply
Becca Cord September 26, 2012 Auto correct font style is my favorite (besides kitteh style of course). That damn invention will be my demise. I am SURE of it. Hilarious post! Becca Cord recently posted..Cordial Holiday Meals With The Cords 0 likes Reply
Laura R. September 26, 2012 I was going to comment, but I’m too excited by the unicorn. Laura R. recently posted..Medical Oddities 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 I know – I had to finish the post after that. I was exhausted with glee. Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply
Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd September 26, 2012 Kanye probably interrupts every word to declare another word the best of all time. Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7 – Decoder ClueAdd your Twitter: cannibal_nerd 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 He probably interrupts himself to talk about how great he is. Amy Vansant recently posted..Pet Yoga 0 likes Reply
Natalie the Singingfool September 26, 2012 Kitteh Font coming to The Cat Lady Sings… Appropriate, no? Natalie the Singingfool recently posted..The One and Only Time* I Will Post about Weight Gain, Weight Loss, and the Joys of Being Female in 21st Century America (*Maybe. If I Feel Like It) 0 likes Reply
Michele Drier September 26, 2012 Do I have to buy the whole Office Suite to get the fonts, or can I just download them?Add your Twitter: MicheleDrier 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 We need to mail the kittens. Amy Vansant recently posted..The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery 0 likes Reply
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point September 26, 2012 My favorite is the Kitteh Font Style because of… oh look there he is again! Awwwwwww Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..You Aren’t Going to Steal My Shoes Are you?Add your Twitter: PCPPPBlog 0 likes Reply
Lady Estrogen October 9, 2012 Wow, that Taylor Swift font would have been glorious. Too bad relationships are just so mean. Lady Estrogen recently posted..When Sexting Goes BadAdd your Twitter: ladyestrogen 0 likes Reply
