Email This Post HomeHumorNew Font Styles Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 Humor 15 Comments Tired of the same old font style buttons? Bold is SO 1983. Italics? That party was over before the cheese dip was cold. Underline? Puh-LEEZE. Underline is as annoying as that aunt who sends emails IN ALL CAPS. I’ve come up with a few ways Microsoft could update their Office suite for the 21st Century by including some new font style choices. These are the little public services I like to perform now and again, when a judge demands it. A Font Style Makeover Gangnam Font Style No video with over 200 million views can be wrong for a font effect. Sure, a Korean Andy Warhol in a neon yellow suit may inexplicably dance across your document, but your boss has secretly been watching the Psy video all day so he can stay “hip” and not end up with another “sexual harassment” suit for not understanding it is wrong to claim you are “down with the bitches” at the office. He won’t care. Kardashian Font Style You won’t be able to fit quite as many letters on a page using Kardashian styling, but your documents will be able to make money with no discernable talents. Just don’t let Kanye try and take the pen out of your hand and talk about what a better writer other girls are. Taylor Swift Font Style I was going to include a Taylor Swift font, but it was dumped. Look for the whole story on her new album “Love is a Sucky Thing, I’m Prettier than Her. PS: I Hate You.” Politics Font Style Adding Politics styling to your document will immediate split the document down party lines and all of your arguments will become so circular & vague as to be rendered useless. You may have one independent clause that sort of appeals to both sides, but no one will read it. The colors on the left and right are just too pretty. Kitteh Font Style Kitteh style ads kittens to your document to distract people from reading the drivel you’ve— uh, you’ve… AWW! KITTY! Auto Correct Font Style I’ve written penis paragraph in auto dick style so you can see how shit perks. It maybe isn’t nazi bean bags but it would make carpets documents more dinosaur lace. Unicorn Font Style Yea! Rainbows! Ok, a little unreadable but what editor wouldn’t be delighted to receive your new novel in Unicorn style? Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Hurricane is Released + Even More Giveaways (three chances to win a kindle) - June 4, 2020 Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 15 Responses Nicole September 26, 2012 I think my students write their papers with auto correct font. 0 likes Reply Lance September 26, 2012 I think this last round of edits/rewrites for my book will be done in auto correct style. My editor has pissed me off so much, it will be a pleasure to return the favor. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 Ah, to have an editor to piss off… 🙂 0 likes Reply Lib September 26, 2012 This is SO what I needed this morning. The Taylor Swift lyrics? I DIED. 0 likes Reply Becca Cord September 26, 2012 Auto correct font style is my favorite (besides kitteh style of course). That damn invention will be my demise. I am SURE of it. Hilarious post! 0 likes Reply Laura R. September 26, 2012 I was going to comment, but I’m too excited by the unicorn. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 I know – I had to finish the post after that. I was exhausted with glee. 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd September 26, 2012 Kanye probably interrupts every word to declare another word the best of all time. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 He probably interrupts himself to talk about how great he is. 0 likes Reply bill major September 26, 2012 lol thxs again for the laugh amy 0 likes Reply Natalie the Singingfool September 26, 2012 Kitteh Font coming to The Cat Lady Sings… Appropriate, no? 0 likes Reply Michele Drier September 26, 2012 Do I have to buy the whole Office Suite to get the fonts, or can I just download them? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 26, 2012 We need to mail the kittens. 0 likes Reply Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point September 26, 2012 My favorite is the Kitteh Font Style because of… oh look there he is again! Awwwwwww 0 likes Reply Lady Estrogen October 9, 2012 Wow, that Taylor Swift font would have been glorious. Too bad relationships are just so mean. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply to Nicole Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!