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8 Responses

  1. Dianna Slowey-Thomas

    Loved your tale! So glad to know I’m not the only nutcase daughter! Forwarded ( dianna’s dictionary pg. 702) to my mom who was also also pleased I wasn’t crazy! Thanks for the smile to start my day 😃

       1 likes

  2. Barry Knister

    Amy–
    I am your father in spirit, and in our defense, as part-time Floridians, boredom is not what shoves people out the door and into a plane, to investigate someone’s report about ants on the back porch. It’s ants as they operate in the Sunshine State. Which is what they do pretty much everywhere, all the time.
    No, it’s the psychology of violation, invasion, MOVEMENT where it should not take place. My own mental frame for this issue was shaped, say, thirty-five years before I bought a place in Florida. It happened when I flew to Miami, and needed to spend the night in a motel at the airport. It was late, around midnight when I opened the door to my room. A nice Midwestern young man opening a door in a strange state. But wait. Why is the room in motion? Why is there a sense of sluggish retreat? Why are the sources the approximate size and shape of slot cars? “Oh, those are palmetto bugs,” says the night desk manager. “I’ll be up to spray as soon as my show is over.”
    I haven’t thought of this for a while, but ants and their fellow travelers are definitely, at least in part responsible for why I no longer own a house in FL.

       1 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      Aah! Palmetto bugs are SO GROSS. Enormous. But any nausea caused by your invoking their name was erased by the beautiful phrase “sense of sluggish retreat!” Love it!

         1 likes

      • Barry Knister

        Amy–
        Vanity, all is vanity. Your post triggered a story of my own, which, in my haste to tell it is why I failed to say how clever I think your post is. Assuming of course your father’s arrival home didn’t lead to a call to 911. I also like your husband’s tattoo of the Holy Ghost. Very tasteful. Here’s a recent one-liner from my wife. We were on a senior-citizens visit to the Detroit branch of the Federal Reserve. Of course everyone had to pass through an electronic security process. People kept setting off an alarm, and Barbara said, “This really is a heavy metal group.” Rim shot, please.

           2 likes

  3. Kim

    Ha! You are so crazy!! What was their reaction?!

       1 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      Sadly my dad entered first so it wasn’t as screamy as I hoped. By the time mom saw it she thought it was “cute” *shakes fist at sky*

         1 likes

  4. Katherine

    Very funny! And I’m glad to know that all this ant stuff isn’t distracting you from writing your next book. We’re all waiting…. (no pressure, though)

       1 likes

  5. kathleen benson

    Thanks a bunch. I greatly enjoyed that.

       1 likes