Email This Post HomeProduct ReviewsRedneck Milk Punch Amy Vansant October 13, 2011 Product Reviews 23 Comments I’ve invented this thing I’m calling “Redneck Milk Punch.” I call it that because I use some pretty common ingredients of which the fancier Southern ladies would not approve, and because every time I use the word “redneck” someone has a hissy fit in my comments, which is fun for me, because I’m related to rednecks who get insulted if they aren’t the “NECKIEST” person in their neighborhood. Anyway… if the idea of milk and booze together makes you green, you might want to turn back now. The first time I ever had milk punch it was a pretty fancy affair; there were polo ponies and people in crushed felt jackets and women doing their best Blanche DuBois imitations. Milk Punch is a southern tradition; milk and bourbon, with a little sugar thrown in to cut the bite. The drink was served to me in silver mugs. Very hoity-toity. Then, yesterday, I had this idea. I mixed fat free milk with spiced rum (Sailor Jerry, to be exact) and then added about a tablespoon of Gingerbread coffee creamer I’d bought to celebrate fall. I sprinkled a little cinnamon on top. WOW. GOOD! Boozy, creamy low-cal-ish and flavorful. Redneck Milk Punch is a milkshake with attitude. I’m sure the proper Southern Ladies would rather die than put coffee creamer in their milk punch, but it is damn tasty. I’ve also tried it with bourbon, with pumpkin-flavored coffee creamer and with eggnog creamer – all fantastic. If Coffee-mate would like to get hold of me, to reward me for my ingenuity with their product, I’m available. In the meantime, go get some coffee creamer in the fall flavor of your choice, mix it with a bunch of fat free milk and rum, whiskey, or bourbon! About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) A Screaming Bobcat, Another Free Book, Giveaway, Steals & Deals! - February 5, 2020 A Thank You & Free Short Story, Pineapple Disco 99c, Win a Kindle Reader - January 30, 2020 Two Big Favors (YOU can get me on TV), Giveaways and Deals - January 22, 2020 23 Responses Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 13, 2011 Ooh! Can I be the one that gets mad about “redneck?” How dare you use a term that perfectly describes certain people I have known and am related to! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 13, 2011 Real rednecks consider it a compliment! 1 likes Reply Abby October 13, 2011 I don’t drink cow’s milk or sweet things like flavored creamer, but if you sub in cider for those and add a cinnamon stick with the rum, I’m there. Or better yet, just sub in vodka and a little lime juice. Wait…that’s nothing like what you suggested. Oh well. You can have your redneck punch. I’ll have my Vodka gimmlet and we’ll laugh and laugh… 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 13, 2011 I have also been doing a lot of the cider things as well. It was when I ran out, that I came up with this! 0 likes Reply Kristen Pelfrey October 13, 2011 Milk punch is a great concept that hasn’t really come into its own in California. I should try to start the trend. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 Then they can call you Kristen: “Originator of the California Milk Punch.” I’m going to guess that is soy milk. 0 likes Reply Basia October 14, 2011 In Poland, we did some nifty things with milk as well, such as drinking it with garlic to get rid of a cold or a bunch of raw yeast to get ride of teenage acne (um, good one, Poland, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for me not having a boyfriend till age 19). I don’t do dairy, but I love pumpkin-flavored anything so I’d love to try a variation of this someday, maybe with almond milk – thanks! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 I thought I already ate garlic with everything… Garlic milk… hm… can’t wait until my next cold! 0 likes Reply J.L. Campbell October 14, 2011 In Jamaica, some have plain old rum with milk. Creamer sounds like a bit of an upgrade. 🙂 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 I just added fall flavors so I didn’t accidentally think I was in Jamaica, and then get depressed when I realized I was just here as usual. 🙂 0 likes Reply Mary October 14, 2011 This is dang creative. I bet kahlua would be killer with your invention. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 Very close to a White Russian! (vodka, Kahlua and cream) which is delicious! 0 likes Reply Misty October 15, 2011 That sounds REALLY good!!!! We, being true rednecks, always bring cocktails with us when we ride horses. One lady we rode with brought chocolate milk and vodka!!! I couldn’t bring myself to try it since I had some perfectly good Long Island Iced Tea in my saddlebags. 🙂 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 16, 2011 Vodka and chocolate milk… I could do that… definitely. I grew up riding so I’d appreciate that and gladly supply the flasks! Oh, and I currently have all those milk punches I drank last weekend in my saddlebags too. 🙂 0 likes Reply Lance October 16, 2011 Dude, if I came over to your house or vice versa and you DIDNT serve me this drink, I’d take my shirt off and throw a tantrum til the COPS tv show came and threw me the back of a cruiser. that sounds, looks, and evokes deliciousness 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 16, 2011 Have you talked to someone about your need to disrobe in front of strangers? 0 likes Reply Jules October 17, 2011 Can this be made with vodka? I’m more of a vodka girl. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 17, 2011 I don’t see why not… I am as well, though in the fall I do start to lean towards bourbon.. 0 likes Reply Pickleope October 18, 2011 That sounds like it could be good going down, but not being one for moderation, I’m worried about the curds coming back up. In response to Jules, if you go with vodka, it’s basically a White Russian…who are their own special breed of redneck. 0 likes Reply Angela Watts October 25, 2011 This is exactly what I drink most of the time. Milk plus alcohol and sometimes a squirt of chocolate syrup. I started with being lazy about actually making my mudslides….so I added the mix to some milk instead of crushed ice in a blender. Chocolate or coffee milk with vanilla vodka works well. I just bought a caramel apple liquor the other week that was yummy as well. Frangelico and amaretto are also yummy. And who can forget the lovely Godiva vodkas (as opposed to their liquors)…chocolate or chocolate raspberry.I saw a pumpkin cream liquor that would have been nice as well, but I have pumpkin spice syrup I made for my coffee so that plus vodka will have to do. My husband is always worrying about the alcohol+milk thing, but I’ve never had an issue and I’ve been drinking it this was for almost a decade now. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant October 25, 2011 YUM! You’re like a milk drink savant! Thanks for the ideas! 0 likes Reply Christine November 1, 2011 We make something similar in a chocolate version with milk, bourbon, Kahlua, International Delight Hershey’s Chocolate Caramel coffee creamer, vanilla butternut extract and a little cinnamon thrown in the blender with some ice. Redneck adult milkshakes. Mmm… tasty. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant November 1, 2011 That sounds AMAZING. Please send me a thermos of it A. because it sound delicious and B because I haven’t seen a thermos since 3rd grade and I think it would be cool… 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!
Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 13, 2011 Ooh! Can I be the one that gets mad about “redneck?” How dare you use a term that perfectly describes certain people I have known and am related to! 0 likes Reply
Abby October 13, 2011 I don’t drink cow’s milk or sweet things like flavored creamer, but if you sub in cider for those and add a cinnamon stick with the rum, I’m there. Or better yet, just sub in vodka and a little lime juice. Wait…that’s nothing like what you suggested. Oh well. You can have your redneck punch. I’ll have my Vodka gimmlet and we’ll laugh and laugh… 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 13, 2011 I have also been doing a lot of the cider things as well. It was when I ran out, that I came up with this! 0 likes Reply
Kristen Pelfrey October 13, 2011 Milk punch is a great concept that hasn’t really come into its own in California. I should try to start the trend. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 Then they can call you Kristen: “Originator of the California Milk Punch.” I’m going to guess that is soy milk. 0 likes Reply
Basia October 14, 2011 In Poland, we did some nifty things with milk as well, such as drinking it with garlic to get rid of a cold or a bunch of raw yeast to get ride of teenage acne (um, good one, Poland, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for me not having a boyfriend till age 19). I don’t do dairy, but I love pumpkin-flavored anything so I’d love to try a variation of this someday, maybe with almond milk – thanks! 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 I thought I already ate garlic with everything… Garlic milk… hm… can’t wait until my next cold! 0 likes Reply
J.L. Campbell October 14, 2011 In Jamaica, some have plain old rum with milk. Creamer sounds like a bit of an upgrade. 🙂 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 I just added fall flavors so I didn’t accidentally think I was in Jamaica, and then get depressed when I realized I was just here as usual. 🙂 0 likes Reply
Mary October 14, 2011 This is dang creative. I bet kahlua would be killer with your invention. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 14, 2011 Very close to a White Russian! (vodka, Kahlua and cream) which is delicious! 0 likes Reply
Misty October 15, 2011 That sounds REALLY good!!!! We, being true rednecks, always bring cocktails with us when we ride horses. One lady we rode with brought chocolate milk and vodka!!! I couldn’t bring myself to try it since I had some perfectly good Long Island Iced Tea in my saddlebags. 🙂 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 16, 2011 Vodka and chocolate milk… I could do that… definitely. I grew up riding so I’d appreciate that and gladly supply the flasks! Oh, and I currently have all those milk punches I drank last weekend in my saddlebags too. 🙂 0 likes Reply
Lance October 16, 2011 Dude, if I came over to your house or vice versa and you DIDNT serve me this drink, I’d take my shirt off and throw a tantrum til the COPS tv show came and threw me the back of a cruiser. that sounds, looks, and evokes deliciousness 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 16, 2011 Have you talked to someone about your need to disrobe in front of strangers? 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 17, 2011 I don’t see why not… I am as well, though in the fall I do start to lean towards bourbon.. 0 likes Reply
Pickleope October 18, 2011 That sounds like it could be good going down, but not being one for moderation, I’m worried about the curds coming back up. In response to Jules, if you go with vodka, it’s basically a White Russian…who are their own special breed of redneck. 0 likes Reply
Angela Watts October 25, 2011 This is exactly what I drink most of the time. Milk plus alcohol and sometimes a squirt of chocolate syrup. I started with being lazy about actually making my mudslides….so I added the mix to some milk instead of crushed ice in a blender. Chocolate or coffee milk with vanilla vodka works well. I just bought a caramel apple liquor the other week that was yummy as well. Frangelico and amaretto are also yummy. And who can forget the lovely Godiva vodkas (as opposed to their liquors)…chocolate or chocolate raspberry.I saw a pumpkin cream liquor that would have been nice as well, but I have pumpkin spice syrup I made for my coffee so that plus vodka will have to do. My husband is always worrying about the alcohol+milk thing, but I’ve never had an issue and I’ve been drinking it this was for almost a decade now. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant October 25, 2011 YUM! You’re like a milk drink savant! Thanks for the ideas! 0 likes Reply
Christine November 1, 2011 We make something similar in a chocolate version with milk, bourbon, Kahlua, International Delight Hershey’s Chocolate Caramel coffee creamer, vanilla butternut extract and a little cinnamon thrown in the blender with some ice. Redneck adult milkshakes. Mmm… tasty. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant November 1, 2011 That sounds AMAZING. Please send me a thermos of it A. because it sound delicious and B because I haven’t seen a thermos since 3rd grade and I think it would be cool… 0 likes Reply
