Email This Post HomeHumorVisualsSigns you may be a chocoholic… Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 Visuals 17 Comments Last Valentine’s my husband brought me a vodka drink in the middle of my work day. Best Valentine’s Ever. This year he decided to decorate. Would this have anything to do with the fact that the other day I got out of bed and there was a Snickers-mini wrapper stuck to my back? Could it be because I spent most of last weekend mixing Reeses Pieces with M&M’s until I recreated the perfect ratio to recreate a Reeses Cup? Could it be because everytime he vacuums under the sofa cushions he finds wrappers I’ve hidden? Could it be because he’s caught me drinking directly out of the Hershey’s syrup bottle? Could it be because the answer to “How many chocolate iced donuts will you eat?” always ends up being “As many as you bring home?” Maybe. I think he’s just weird. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Teach Your Dog to Talk, Win a Kindle, Deals & Steals - November 7, 2019 Winners of the Name the Skull Contest, Book Giveaways & Deals - October 29, 2019 The Vultures Show Up, Cool Furniture – Book Giveaways and Deals - October 15, 2019 17 Responses Lance February 14, 2012 My 2 gifts for the day of V & beej – well, you know, “that”, and a big pile of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups….she knows me well. that ceiling fan is brilliant 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 By “that” I assume you’ve schedule a time to create the beast with two backs. Got it. 0 likes Reply Raymond February 14, 2012 A custom dangling carrot. I like it. 🙂 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 Nothing would get me OUT of the mood faster than a carrot. Thank goodness he knows that… 0 likes Reply Jen Has A Pen February 14, 2012 What a romantic. I am forever waking up with napkins stuck to my body. George gets all bent out of shape because he doesn’t understand why I can’t take them to the trash after I’ve eaten an entire cake pan of chocolate cake. From bed. But hey, at least I wipe my mouth with napkins and save the sheets, right? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 You’re one up on me. My husband calls my sweatpants “the Vansant napkin.” 0 likes Reply Abby February 14, 2012 Ha! I’m not that into chocolate, but he’s very wise, and sweet, even more so if he managed to dust the blades of the ceiling fan before taping the treats on there. I hate doing that. But bonus points for energy-efficient lightbulbs! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 He did in fact dust – that was the best part! 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd February 14, 2012 CVS had Whitman’s samplers on sale BOGO last week and I told Tom that we could get one for me and one for him for Valentines Day and then I proceeded to eat most of both the boxes before today. The ceiling fan idea is great, unless he turns the fan on, then it’s just for his amusement. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Mike turned it on so the chocolate would waft out of the room and lure me into the trap… 0 likes Reply David February 15, 2012 Tantalizing for sure. Still, my eyes were drawn to the dark chocolate mini-bar. So I’m a chocoholic but a picky one. Fun idea though – if it weren’t for the dogs in the house – might be to leave a trail of truffles leading into the bedroom. Yum. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 You’d get some lovin’ for sure from the dogs, but not what you were hoping for (I hope). And, it would of course kill them, so it’s a lose-sicko-lose option in the long run… 0 likes Reply Amy B February 15, 2012 I would love this. Especially if it were multiplied by 5 or 10. Then it’d be like a fun game for me to see if I could beat the mice to the punch… 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Honestly, the way I’ve been at it for the last few weeks I’m surprised he was able to FIND any chocolate in the house… 0 likes Reply David February 15, 2012 Oh I’m so sorry I may have miscommunicated in my comment: I wrote that “if it were NOT for the dogs in the house..” but perhaps I should have been more clear. I’m well aware that chocolate is poison to dogs, and I would never allow them to ingest chocolate. I just thought that the truffles trail might be a fun idea were it NOT for the pets in my house. OK, so now I feel rather stupid. {he leaves the room now}. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Oh no, I totally got that you said if it were NOT for the dogs! I was kidding around and gave you the impression I gotcha wrong. I’m the stupid one! 0 likes Reply David February 15, 2012 Amy, no problem – understood. This is a great example of what I refer to as missing the conversational implicature, which is to say that in the absence of body language / social cues, we can’t tell when someone is joking with us in writing – unless we know them really well. Of course, knowing me really well is probably the first step to needing theraphy. Carry on fellow chocoholic! 😉 0 likes Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!
Lance February 14, 2012 My 2 gifts for the day of V & beej – well, you know, “that”, and a big pile of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups….she knows me well. that ceiling fan is brilliant 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 By “that” I assume you’ve schedule a time to create the beast with two backs. Got it. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 Nothing would get me OUT of the mood faster than a carrot. Thank goodness he knows that… 0 likes Reply
Jen Has A Pen February 14, 2012 What a romantic. I am forever waking up with napkins stuck to my body. George gets all bent out of shape because he doesn’t understand why I can’t take them to the trash after I’ve eaten an entire cake pan of chocolate cake. From bed. But hey, at least I wipe my mouth with napkins and save the sheets, right? 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 14, 2012 You’re one up on me. My husband calls my sweatpants “the Vansant napkin.” 0 likes Reply
Abby February 14, 2012 Ha! I’m not that into chocolate, but he’s very wise, and sweet, even more so if he managed to dust the blades of the ceiling fan before taping the treats on there. I hate doing that. But bonus points for energy-efficient lightbulbs! 0 likes Reply
Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd February 14, 2012 CVS had Whitman’s samplers on sale BOGO last week and I told Tom that we could get one for me and one for him for Valentines Day and then I proceeded to eat most of both the boxes before today. The ceiling fan idea is great, unless he turns the fan on, then it’s just for his amusement. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Mike turned it on so the chocolate would waft out of the room and lure me into the trap… 0 likes Reply
David February 15, 2012 Tantalizing for sure. Still, my eyes were drawn to the dark chocolate mini-bar. So I’m a chocoholic but a picky one. Fun idea though – if it weren’t for the dogs in the house – might be to leave a trail of truffles leading into the bedroom. Yum. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 You’d get some lovin’ for sure from the dogs, but not what you were hoping for (I hope). And, it would of course kill them, so it’s a lose-sicko-lose option in the long run… 0 likes Reply
Amy B February 15, 2012 I would love this. Especially if it were multiplied by 5 or 10. Then it’d be like a fun game for me to see if I could beat the mice to the punch… 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Honestly, the way I’ve been at it for the last few weeks I’m surprised he was able to FIND any chocolate in the house… 0 likes Reply
David February 15, 2012 Oh I’m so sorry I may have miscommunicated in my comment: I wrote that “if it were NOT for the dogs in the house..” but perhaps I should have been more clear. I’m well aware that chocolate is poison to dogs, and I would never allow them to ingest chocolate. I just thought that the truffles trail might be a fun idea were it NOT for the pets in my house. OK, so now I feel rather stupid. {he leaves the room now}. 0 likes Reply
Amy Vansant February 15, 2012 Oh no, I totally got that you said if it were NOT for the dogs! I was kidding around and gave you the impression I gotcha wrong. I’m the stupid one! 0 likes Reply
David February 15, 2012 Amy, no problem – understood. This is a great example of what I refer to as missing the conversational implicature, which is to say that in the absence of body language / social cues, we can’t tell when someone is joking with us in writing – unless we know them really well. Of course, knowing me really well is probably the first step to needing theraphy. Carry on fellow chocoholic! 😉 0 likes
