kids | Amy Vansant

You Have No Idea What You’re Doing to Your Children

December 18, 2013

Canadian bacon can piss off, too, while we're at it. In the Parents Lottery, I did pretty damn well. I am not complaining. They're still married (nearly 50 years), they successfully hid most of their fights...

Your Little Jessica is Clearly in the 58th Percentile

Amy Vansant

May 8, 2012

Humor

First Published in Defenestration It's so cute, the way your little Jessica jumps for the bow in my Chloe's hair. Jessica has good taste, I can tell you that! Jessica is...what? Three? Oh, she's four? ...

To the annoying kids at the gorilla exhibit that I love

Amy Vansant

April 14, 2012

Humor

I love to visit the gorilla exhibit at the zoo. Unfortunately, my fascination for these magnificent creatures is also shared by children who crowd the coveted glass position. Yes, I’m an adult who can see...

Posing with a Plastic Starfish

Amy Vansant

January 21, 2012

Fiction

7

The teen held an orange plastic starfish against her hip, grains of beach sand sparkling in the fine blonde hair covering her skinny legs. "How's this?" "Wonderful!" said her mother, taking a picture. ...

Protecting Yourself from Tiny Petri Dishes

Amy Vansant

November 27, 2011

Practical Jokes, Visuals

18

Last time I visited the nieces I came away with a flu that lasted 3+ weeks. This is how Mike and I showed up for Thanksgiving. (more…)...

Healthy, Catered School Lunches Prevent Anarchy

Amy Vansant

September 21, 2010

Humor

2

This more "newsy" article first published as Healthy, Catered School Lunches Prevent Anarchy on Technorati. In grade school I once inspired a School Lunch Revolution. I always brown-bagged it, and thanks...

Shaking the Kids

Amy Vansant

March 11, 2010

Humor

The other day Mike and I were talking to his brother Gary about going to an upscale dinner with us. Gary and Heather have two girls under the age of 13, so talking about going to a nice restaurant is like disc...

Tagged kids

You Have No Idea What You’re Doing to Your Children

Your Little Jessica is Clearly in the 58th Percentile

To the annoying kids at the gorilla exhibit that I love

Posing with a Plastic Starfish

Protecting Yourself from Tiny Petri Dishes

Healthy, Catered School Lunches Prevent Anarchy

Shaking the Kids