First published on McSweeney's Internet Tendencies, this is a skit likening bored suburban neighbors throwing Gatsby theme parties to zombies. It made sense in my head at the time.
INT. UPPER CLASS ...
Tired of the same old font style buttons?
Bold is SO 1983.
Italics? That party was over before the cheese dip was cold.
Underline? Puh-LEEZE. Underline is as annoying as that aunt who sends emails IN AL...