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32 Responses

      • Nina Potts

        please tell me you got these guns. Where the hell are these guns? I don’t even have a pool and want them. Our roommate works at Target, she shares her discount. Must. Have. Guns.

           0 likes

  1. Dave

    So you’re bragging about how you have way too much disposable income?

       0 likes

  2. LEo

    Yes.

    She’s also showing, unwittingly I assume, that her preconceived views were wrong and that anyone can enjoy simple pleasures in life and shouldn’t be labeled as red necks just because of that or because of the non-fancy place they buy they stuff.

    Who would’ve thunk huh.

    (sic)

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    • Amy Vansant

      That’s it. I just stepped out of my mansion long enough to figure out 50 million elvis fans can’t be wrong. Hallelujah!

         2 likes

  3. Jessie

    Too funny! I think she’s just trying be funny – lighten up people!!!

       1 likes

  4. Amdela

    Haha – awesome read, I’m highly amused. Great writing, keep it up!

       1 likes

  5. Ken

    This is why you don’t let women have credit cards

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  6. robin leach

    yeeew rednayek. although it indeed does sound frightfully fun. must have been an utterly stupendous weekend.

       1 likes

  7. Kelly

    Food for next time – Split a nathan’s hot dog, stuff with velvetta. Wrap in a corn tortilla, secure with a toothpic, then fry until GB&D. Dip that mother effer in ranch and have your MIND BLOWN.

       2 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      Holy moses… I think I just gained 5lbs reading that… but I’m a little hungover today so it sounds particularly fantastic!

         1 likes

  8. Jayme (Random Blogette)

    Target has this hypnotic pull on me. Once I walk in it is like I have no control of my body or my credit card anymore. I always walk in looking for one or two things and end up leaving with a cart full of crap. I can never go to Target without spending $100. It is insane. Nice pool though. It will come in handy. Naked pool parties?

       1 likes

  9. Britt

    Redneck or not, I’d accept an invitation to that pool ANY day.

    Slip’n’slides are overrated. Those commercials make it look like you aren’t going to lose your left nipple and hip bone to a rogue pebble, but let me tell you, you will. And it will hurt. A lot.

    I bet the 4ft man would have floated like a boss.

       2 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      I have a video of my 6’2″ 40+ year old husband trying to slip and slide. Saving it for a rainy day!

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  10. Tammy

    I love that you decided to throw in the fireworks too. A couple years ago I forgot to buy my husband a Father’s Day gift and ended up late Saturday night at Walmart. Obviously it had been a long day, because I bought him Snickers and fireworks. We still make fun of it, but I think he actually appreciated both.

       0 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      I bet he thought it was the best birthday EVER. Though I’m a little disappointed you forgot the NASCAR beach towel.

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  11. Emily Guy Birken

    I’m wondering if the 4 foot guy in the red vest had a scan-able bar code on him, or if the cashier would have had to call a manager.

       1 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      Barcode, buy one get one free. But I couldn’t afford to feed them and had to take them back.

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  12. oddeofun

    Let me know if you get a primer gray El Camino up on blocks. Until then you are merely approaching redneck territory. Not that this is a badge of honor that you really want.

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    • Amy Vansant

      I know. I think that’s why all the reddit people at the beginning of these comments were so angry. Me throwing my massive wealth around like I just won the lottery and am bragging about having FOUR cars up on blocks now…

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      • oddeofun

        I’d keep it next to the “shootin’ car” personally. Wouldn’t want to sully the rest of the mansion and all.

        I intend to flaunt my own wealth by perhaps getting a new baseball cap and refusing to remove the stickers and price tag from it. Apparently that shows I can afford an authentic new hat. Or that I stole that one. I’m not sure.

        This was about an El Camino on blocks wasn’t it? I must have mixed up my meds this morning.

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      • Amy Vansant

        The “tag on hat” look is very Minnie Pearl, though you might be too young to remember. Isn’t it awesome when you reinvent something that totally worked for someone else and you didn’t know about it. Can’t do anything with it, but you know you’re a genius.

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  13. Steph

    oh rednecks like you have really burned my bum this year! I’ve 4 FOUR! of your pools in my block right now! ONE is 2 feet off my back yard property line (really it’s like they are bathing in my yard) ONE is across the street in the neighbors FRONT yard. ONE is -at least- behind my backyard neighbors privacy fence but it is discarded and the breeding ground for all things Nile Virus and ONE is at the end of our street and looks home to the swamp monster.
    ARGH! Oh, wait I see one more that just went up – wait! do you live near me?

       0 likes

    • Amy Vansant

      ha! Hilarious. Believe me, I’ve ALWAYS hated above ground pools but we have a fenced yard (BACKyard)and it is FULL of chlorine and we were assured by a bug professional that nothing can lay eggs on it due to the chemicals.

      And still if my neighbors had one and I could see them in it I would be pissed. 🙂

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  14. Chooplah

    If this were a disney movie, a charmingly plump neighborhood boy would come over and his cannonball would pop a hole in the side, then a large saint bernard would arrive, bounding into the water splashing all over your yard as everyone laughed and hugged.

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  15. slapshot

    See? That’s the beauty of being a single uncle. You’re not ever expected to bring anything, and as long as you show up in the neighborhood of on time, and are still reasonably sober, when you get there, it’s all good.

       0 likes