Email This Post HomeHumorThe Cutthroat World of Goat Actors on History Channel’s Vikings Amy Vansant February 26, 2014 Humor, Humor Skit Scripts, Pop Culture 2 Comments A little skit for everyone looking forward to the new season of “Vikings” on the History Channel tomorrow. Or for anyone who doesn’t approve of goat sacrifices, but thinks if there has to be one, it should probably be a L.A. hipster actor goat. FADE IN Two goats, BILLY & BYLLI, bump into each other on the street. BYLLI is wearing skinny jeans. BILLY Hey! Billy, how are you? Cool hat. It’s, like, so ironic. BYLLI (self-consciously touching the partially chewed tin can he is wearing on his head) It’s “Bylli,” pronounced “B-WHY-lee.” BILLY Oh, sorry. How you doing? BYLLI Good, just on my way to get a half-caff, no-foam, non-fat latte with caramel drizzle. BILLY Me too! Hey, how’s the acting going? BYLLI Good, I guess. I’ve got a regular gig at the Brentwood Country Mart petting zoo, but it isn’t fulfilling. Waiting tables still pays the bills. BILLY Dude, you’ll never guess what! I got a gig on Vikings! BYLLI (pulls back his head in surprise, his eyes are huge) BILLY Whoa, what’s wrong? You look crazy! BYLLI I have horizontal pupils. BILLY Oh right. Me too. BYLLI So, you got a part on Vikings? Is it reoccurring? BILLY Nah, it’s a one shot deal. But it’s pretty exciting. Billy got a part on Vikings last month, and he must have put in a good word for me. BYLLI Billy Half-Horn? Or Billy Spots? BILLY Billy Spots. He told me Vikings has been great for goat actors. BYLLI (rolling his eyes) Vikings great for goats? Have you seen Vikings? BILLY No. I cant work the TV control, you know, with the cloven hooves and all. BYLLI Yeah, I’ve been fired from six restaurants this month. Hey, have you seen Billy Spots since he filmed Vikings? BILLY No. He hasn’t been around. Vikings probably launched him right into another role! They film in Ireland, you know. BYLLI Right. Hm. Look, Billy, you don’t want to be on Vikings… BILLY (excitedly talking over BYLLI) Guess what else! I’m also trying out for a part on Justified next week—Wait, what? The goats stop and stare at each other with their huge eyes. Did you just say I don’t want to be on Vikings? BYLLI (lifting a cloven hoof to make a slicing motion near his throat) Vikings and goats, it’s just… their religion calls for a lot of sacrif— wait, did you say there’s a part on Justified? BILLY Yeah, the Justified audition is next week, right after my Viking shoot. BYLLI Right after your Vikings shoot… Who else knows about the Justified audition, besides you and me? BILLY No one, I guess. A lot of the L.A. goats seem to be staying in Ireland after shooting Vikings parts. BYLLI So it would just be me and you up for the part? BILLY Yep. BYLLI Right after you shoot Vikings. BILLY Yep. BYLLI Ok. Well, it was good seeing you… (BYLLI starts to leave) BILLY Wait, what were you saying about vikings and their religion or something? BYLLI Oh, nothing man. Good luck! Congratulations on Vikings! BILLY Thanks dude! FADE OUT Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Hurricane is Released + Even More Giveaways (three chances to win a kindle) - June 4, 2020 Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 2 Responses Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point February 26, 2014 I would like to see a show about goats that sacrifice vikings. Hipster vikings that is. 0 likes Reply bluzdude February 27, 2014 Why can’t they just sacrifice the hipsters? I’d watch that… 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!