Email This Post HomeHumorThe Dumb Things Authors Have to Think About & a Poll, Giveaways and Book Deals! Amy Vansant June 12, 2018 Humor 7 Comments The Dumb Things Authors Have to Worry About & Another Fun Poll! I started my Kilty series because I tried to watch Outlander (which isn’t my thing but my mother was insistent) and all I could think the whole time was.. This guy is hot but you know he smells like B.O. There’s no deodorant unless she thought to grab a hundred packages of it before she was whisked away. If they keep having sex like this she is definitely going to get a urinary tract infection and antibiotics haven’t been invented yet I doubt she smells like Chanel no. 5 either. They just had sex for the first time and she’s just lounging around in the bed like pregnancy isn’t even a thing and maybe that’s something she might want to consider with everything going on at the moment. All of which cracked me up and horrified my mother (which cracked me up even more). So I wrote Kilty as Charged, where my sexy Highlander, Brochan, comes to OUR time and is obsessed with showers and hair products so I could clean up my very manly, stinky Scotsman and save my heroine (Catriona) from urinary tract infections. But that doesn’t solve all my problems. For instance, he’s clearly not circumcised. This isn’t an issue for much of the planet but it’s often gotten a shiver from girls in the United States. But millions of US women don’t think about that when they’re lusting for Outlander’s Jamie. Clearly, women can just push “facts” into the back of their head for the sake of romance… …but then I get this urge to address these things…in a funny, non-gross way. I think you’re starting to realize why I don’t write flat out romances. The Kilty series is a romantic suspense (heavy on the suspense, thrills and humor) with a nice dash of romance and sexual tension. Nothing too foofy and no detailed descriptions of sexy time. It’s the best I can do, ladies. Anyhoo, last night I wrote a funny scene where my heroine’s friend, Peter, is at a urinal with Brochan, my Highlander, and he’s a bit intimidated by the strapping Scotsman’s bait and tackle. To mess with Brochan, Pete (who has a bit of a crush on Catriona) tells Brochan that the big man’s nether regions will terrify Catriona to try and scare him into not pursuing her. The whole thing had be cracking up…but it makes me worry I’m penetrating the veil of plausible deniability romance readers sometimes like to drape over their heads when they’re dealing with unhygienic time periods and pesky real life and whatnot. So I have another poll for you! Does it bother you to have a little REAL in your Romance? I prefer to pretend everyone smells like roses thank you very much. I always like things to be REAL! Normally like the fantasy, but since this series is funny, I think it's fine to have real life create funny situations. I'm way on your cozy mystery side and I'm going to pretend you didn't just talk about nether regions at all. View Results Loading ... Speaking of Romance, here’s a sexy giveaway! Preferred link to website: https://www.loveunderfire.net/ Universal link: https://www.books2read.com/u/mleeJP Book Steals and Deals Start Date: 05-23-2018End Date: 06-24-2018 From Garden To Grave By Rickie Blair Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: FREE Verity Hawkes, accidental gardener, blunders into a murder mystery in the deceptively idyllic village of Leafy Hollow while hunting for her missing aunt. From Garden to Grave is the first book in a series of delightfully funny cozy mysteries. Amazon |Kobo Link|BN |Google|Apple iBooks Start Date: 04-29-2018End Date: 06-30-2018 Betrayal: A Tall Pines Mystery (Tall Pines Mysteries Book 4) By Aaron Paul Lazar Usual Price: 3.99 Sale: .99 Marcella’s marriage is in trouble. She flees to the snowy woods and bumps into a former lover, Sky, who reveals that a serial killer is stalking local young women. When the eighth teen girl disappears, Marcella and Sky wind up in the killer’s sights. Start Date: 05-28-2018End Date: 06-30-2018 Pushing Up Daisies (Tea Shop Cozy Mystery Book 1) By Katherine Hayton Usual Price: New Release Sale: .99 Fifty-something widow Willow Foxglove was looking forward to a cup of tea and a dalliance with the local realtor. Instead, she ended up with a dead body on her doorstep! Amazon Start Date: 05-12-2018End Date: 06-30-2018 Sweet Water By Laurie Lewis Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: .99 Blindsided by a friend, hudson’s and Olivia’s moment was lost, until tragedy brings them face to face. As enemies. Is it possible to ever love an enemy you once called friend? Amazon |Kobo Link|BN|Apple iBooks About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Earn Gifts by helping me grow, giveaways and book deals - November 28, 2018 Win a Kindle, Poltergeists and Book Deals… - November 21, 2018 Where being hard-headed and cooking doesn’t mix… giveaways and deals - November 15, 2018 7 Responses Kathleen Costa June 12, 2018 Wow! I thought all those same things along with everyone’s dirty faces, matted hair, and bad breath (No toothpaste or mouthwash!). Thanks for the morning giggle! 3 likes Reply Brenda June 13, 2018 Well, you’ve sold me! Can’t wait till your book is finished. Where I didn’t care for the movies, I loved the Outlander book series. I loved the story, but always skipped the sex scenes. They were way too much! And I’m no prude—still, leave some things up to the imagination, please! Cozy is more to my liking. MANY years ago, my husband and I traveled on the train through France. It seemed everyone smoked and nobody bathed. They probably brushed their teeth, I don’t remember checking. I do recall wondering how any woman could snuggle up to someone who smelled so foul…but then, the women smelled as bad. So perhaps they didn’t notice. 0 likes Reply Jan Alexander June 12, 2018 Too funny. I thought I was the only one to have those thoughts. 4 likes Reply Libby Dodd June 12, 2018 Reading Swiss Family Robinson I kept asking where the bathroom was. Everything else was so elaborate and clearly described. it made no sense to me! 5 likes Reply Tina aka Lady Moon aka Luna Moon Ullrich June 12, 2018 My mind say ok you don’t smell like Georgo or Armani but that is the time. I did wonder why she, Claire, didn’t ask for soap and water more often since she is in the medical field and knows about these things. 1 likes Reply Catherine June 12, 2018 I have often wondered that myself. Especially with the comments regarding long shiny hair how is that possible with no shampoo or conditioner? Still the fantasy aspect always rescues me. 1 likes Reply Christa Gettys June 12, 2018 I’m glad the Diana keeps it real with people actually going to the bathroom and farting and dealing with periods in “the olden days” I learned a lot about that with Clan of the Cave Bear Series by Jean Auel. She wrote about everything in everyday life. even how to avoid UTI’s (always pee and rinse after sex) Plus what they used for TP (moss if was available if not, that is why in some countries you don’t touch each other’s left hand) birth control (yes native Americans used it even in the 19th century) all kinds of medical stuff that Claire as a nurse is clueless about. Glad she spoke to the witch and learned a few things LOL I keep to the fantasy in my books. I have no problems at all writing about it but the folks who proofread it got all squicked out. I do touch on potty time in the woods for both genders though LOL Oh and how cave men brushed their teeth was pretty cool too. 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!