Email This Post HomeHumorDog HumorThe wall, the wall, the wall is on fire… Amy Vansant March 11, 2014 Dog Humor, Humor, Women's Humor 7 Comments So, you know that thing where you’re having a cocktail and then the wall catches on fire? THE SCENE: My husband Mike, his brother (the infamous Bother-in-Law, Gary) and I were having cocktails in the living room. Maybe “cocktail” isn’t so much the word as “vodkas and gatorades” which I’m pretty sure isn’t fancy enough to be called a “cocktail.” I was out of little umbrellas. We’d had enough of these high-test sports drinks that Gary got giggly and decided to make a fire in the fireplace, which where we prefer them. During the construction of this fire, a subtle acrid smell filled the room. We assumed plastic had been stuck to one of the logs and didn’t think much more about it. Shortly after this, Gary made his way into the kitchen, where he said it smelled even worse. I turned from my spot on the sofa, and noticed a black hole where our electrical outlet used to be, glowing embers showering from its dark maw. “The wall’s on fire!” I yelped. Which I thought was a pretty clever response. Playing charades would have taken too long. One word… sound like … tire? Um, higher? Flyer? Hey…is it hot in here? Um… choir? We all leaped to action: I jumped over the back of the sofa, sprinted past the fire and down to the basement, where I cut the power to that wall. Gary tackled the tiny, smoldering blaze head on. Mike went to Web M.D. to see if electrical fires can give you diabetes. And Gordon Labradoodle ran over the rest of us, hip checking us into walls on his way to the door to try and escape. Luckily, in addition to being a bit of a hooligan, tactless and a delightful party host, Gary is also a master electrician. What were the chances! Well, pretty good, considering we knew the outlet was wonky and had warned Gary to be careful plugging things into it because sometimes the whole wall shorted. Gary had plugged his iPhone into it anyway, and hadn’t mentioned the wall probably went dead due to a faulty connection that caused the outlet to arc and which could feasibly cause a fire. To his credit, he did mention all that after we put out the fire. Gary had a wonderful time backward engineering the outlet’s crimes and revealing them to us like a Gatorade swilling Sherlock Holmes. Mike stopped feeling the wall for heat every 2 seconds about 4 or 5 hours later, though he still isn’t sure if he is diabetic. Gordon finally escaped, where he dropped to his furry knees and kissed the dirt. Men. Author Recent Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Pineapple Hurricane is Released + Even More Giveaways (three chances to win a kindle) - June 4, 2020 Too Many Book Deals, Steals, Kindle Giveaways… - May 27, 2020 Name the Hurricane Winners, Win a Kindle + Books - May 19, 2020 7 Responses Melissa Marie March 15, 2014 This is the kind of shit that keeps me up a night. Electrical fire induced diabetes. I mean, seriously. It’s like we’re never safe. 0 likes Reply Melissa Marie March 15, 2014 Also, I’m glad your house didn’t burn down. 0 likes Reply Suzanne Lucas March 15, 2014 Lol, obviously Gary is a quick thinker in a crisis situation. Let me know if he ever confirms a link between fire and diabetes because I’ll have to shut down my fireplace. On a more serious note, glad to see no one was hurt. 0 likes Reply Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd March 23, 2014 This happened to someone I know and they had to jump out the window of their house, and they weren’t even drinking Gatorade cocktails. 0 likes Reply Katie March 24, 2014 You are very quick on your feet in times of crisis! I’m pretty sure after a few Gatorade cocktails I would have been spinning around in circles going “ohmygod there’s a fire, ohmygod there’s a fire.” I quite possibly would have tried to pour a Gatorade cocktail on top of it, which probably wouldn’t have helped much. Glad you’re all okay! 0 likes Reply Katie March 30, 2014 Glad to hear no-one was hurt! Cocktail-drunk me would’ve definitely INSISTED on Charades. I love Charades. xxx 0 likes Reply James - Electrical and Gas Certificates May 15, 2015 Looks quite bad this one, as an electrician my bet is that this was a loose neutral that caused the initial burning. I hope no one got hurt 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply to Katie Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!