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14 Responses

  1. Lance

    all spot on. I would also add

    – if your car is blue and the doors have small dings of another on them at the end of the day, that’s your fault.

    – don’t take children. If you take children, the judge will release your murderer without levying bail.

    – if you’ve ever said “i will never do black friday shopping again”, and you still go, you’re going to hell where you’re wear a dunce cap forever while listening to Nickelback

    hilarious….Happy Thanksgiving my dear friend


  2. Gina

    This started funny. Then got funnier while continuing to ramp up to the end…Dexter style! I never leave my house on Black Friday. Well I don’t go to a mall or where anyone might shop. In my house, it’s a day of marathon movie watching. Happy Thanksgiving.


  3. bluzdude

    I make it a personal policy never to enter an aisle covered in plastic sheeting, for just that reason.


  4. Winopants

    Further confirms my belief to never shop on black friday. It seems like it could turn any good soul into Dexter


  5. Beduwen

    In honor of Black Friday I am going on a Segway Historical Tour of Savannah with DH and a friend who is visiting from Germany! I figure the streets will be empty and therefore people will be safe, since I have no sense of balance at all.


  6. Marie Nicole

    Am I a total racist if I’ve never ever done any black friday craze? Am I a racist for asking that question? How about now?


  7. Stacey

    I try to avoid the mall on any other day of the year. I’d have to be certifiably insane to go there on Black Friday.


  8. Tiffany N. York

    You all don’t know what you’re missing. I love shopping on Black Friday, but I also love getting a full Brazillian wax, going through each and every item on the sale rack at Ross, and babysitting tantrum-throwing toddlers.