Email This Post HomeHumorWhere being hard-headed and cooking doesn’t mix… giveaways and deals Amy Vansant November 15, 2018 Humor 12 Comments Flat Bread & Mint Jello Mmm. Yum. I don’t know if it will eat me before I eat it. I’ve failed making bread two out of three times now. Seems you never really run out of ways to kill yeast. The first time I used too hot milk, and sent them screaming to their little yeasty deaths. The second time I let the loaf prove too long thinking it would make it bigger. Instead, the yeasts didn’t find the energy to do a second rise in the oven and I ended up with a loaf dense enough to use as a flak jacket. I hate wasting things, so I did my best to eat it as toast, cut thin enough to see through, but ultimately gave up and chucked it. Being hard-headed and cooking doesn’t always work well together. I decided to give up bread for a bit and make myself a batch of mint jelly, because I love mint jelly and eat it with all sorts of things that would make you gag (like fish, because I never liked fish as a kid and it was the only way I could get it down my gullet.) So I went to my garden and gathered up all the mint I could find and boiled it down. It didn’t seem “minty” enough, so I went to the store to buy extra mint flavoring and some green food coloring — and bought everything in the store except those two things. Unwilling to go back, I forged ahead and pulled the pectin from my closet…only to find I’d bought gelatin on accident. I plowed ahead again, and cut out half the sugar thinking it would make it less calorific. *sigh* So, you guessed it. Now I have a Tupperware full of gray-brown vaguely minty sugar water Jello. It looks a lot like it may eat me before I eat it, but I’m too stubborn to throw it out. So far…. If you’d like the recipe just let me know! GIVEAWAYS Win 10+ Historical Romance eBooks! BOOK DEALS & STEALS Start Date: 11-12-2018End Date: 11-28-2018 The Pimp’s Henchman By Andrew Allan Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: 2.99 Butch the Henchman breaks legs, faces, and bodies on command. So, why’s he hung up on Sally? The Pimp’s Henchman is an entertaining blast of hard-boiled crime, pulp thrills, and grindhouse movie mayhem. Download your copy now. Amazon Start Date: 09-25-2018End Date: 11-20-2018 Lost Angels By Tatenda Creed Usual Price: Pre-Release Sale: FREE Prepare to be addicted… Grab, Lost Angels, first in the Supernatural & Paranormal Romance series, The Lost Archangels. Begin a journey of passion and a love like no other. Supernatural collides with Mortal instruments and Vampire Diaries. |BookFunnel|Instafreebie|Website About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Upgrading from turtles to panthers…Giveaway and deals - July 16, 2019 I am the turtle whisperer, pet lover giveaway and steals & deals - July 10, 2019 I’m writing Kilty, but Pineapple is stalking me…Beach Read Giveaway & Deals - July 1, 2019 12 Responses Vicky Burkholder November 15, 2018 LOL. I’ve had some massive cooking failures over the years, but this…um…I think I’d toss it. 2 likes Reply Renee November 15, 2018 Oh my….do not eat….do not listen to your granny whispering your ear, “ eat. Eat. There are starving children in———(fill in the blank).” I don’t know how how I survived a childhood where my first thought was “then feed it to them!” However, I live to tell this story because even age 4, I was wise enough to say it aloud! The joy of being adult is learning to cook, and being able to throw stuff out when it doesn’t come out right…or you decide the flavors …. don’t really meld together after all. I’ve been cooking several 1963… and managed to make recipes my own by adapting as I go…but even when all six kids were at home….if something came out bed, we’d make a party of it…and wind up with grilled cheese, hot dogs, or cereal! And if there was extra funds, we might decide on pizza…. 2 likes Reply Gareth Ellzey November 15, 2018 Yeah, if you are trying to make vegetarian canned protein taste edible, I can promise, no amount of tomato paste will work. Personal experience. 2 likes Reply Cindy DeGraaff November 16, 2018 I love your stories! This is an okay to throw it away. You have permission in writing! It looks like the leftover thanksgiving gravy that was forgotten in the back of the fridge for 3 months last year, but without the mold! Yummy! Lol! 2 likes Reply Danielle November 16, 2018 This picture reminded me of the mom in Better Off Dead. She couldn’t cook, and made a lot of jello dishes that nobody would eat. 3 likes Reply Tanya November 16, 2018 Love that movie! And hers would slither across the table, lol 0 likes Reply Barbara November 16, 2018 We’ve all had cooking failures. I’ve had some doozies. Just keep experimenting. When you make an excellent dish, good luck trying to remember what you did. It will never be duplicated. Been there, done that, wish I wrote it done as I cooked. 2 likes Reply Barbara November 16, 2018 *down* not done. Grrr, I hate misspelling things 1 likes Reply Beverlee November 16, 2018 I think I shall pass on this ‘yummy’ recipe. That is just too funny, and the picture…..well I would never of guessed that was mint jelly. Just saying…. 0 likes Reply Cindy McAllister November 16, 2018 I have made,(tried to make), hamburgers on the BBQ. My family remembers them as hockey pucks and they were harder than a hockey puck ever could be. I do not cook hamburgers on the barbeque anymore asI am not allowed. I have tried to make hot cross buns for 26 years. Even the birds won’t eat them. When am I supposed to stop trying? 0 likes Reply Jennifer Cary November 16, 2018 So if I het the recipe from you will ot look oime that?(i’d love to get it anyway). Maybebit was the pectin/jgelatin mix up? 0 likes Reply Shelley November 17, 2018 Maybe you could keep it for next hallowe’en? It may have mutated into a whole new life form by then 😁 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply to Vicky Burkholder Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!