An actual conversation with my husband, Mike.
Mike: The lid is still off the hot tub and it is too cold for me to go put it back on.
Amy: Come on, I always do it.
Mike: Sorry, can’t do it. I’ll leave it open all night. I’ll leave it until it is filled with copperheads and rats.
Amy: Copperheads and rats?
Amy: And how exactly are copperhead snakes getting in the hot tub?
Mike: They come out of the bay. And I’ll tell you what, if electric eels get in there, you’re going to be sorry.
Amy: Electric eels… How do they get in there exactly?
Mike: It’s cold and they can sense the heat. They aren’t stupid. They come out of the bay and sliver up into the hot tub.
Amy: They sliver up there? What are you cockney now? (with English accent) “Ooh aww, them snakes are gonna sliver up the street, Governor!”
Mike: I just call it like I see it.
Amy: And I don’t know if there are copperhead snakes in Maryland.
Mike: Then how do you explain the Great Copperhead Invasion?
Amy: The Copperhead Invasion.
Mike: Yes. The Copperhead Invasion. Where do you think the song comes from? (singing to the tune of Depeche Mode’s Black Celebration) It’s a Copperhead Invasion…
At this point I go and put on the hot tub cover. He wins again.
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