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18 Responses

  1. Wilbur

    Can’t believe you wrote the words, ‘pig taint’.


  2. a

    You mistrain your dog, and then you wonder why it misbehaves…..

    if your dog is acting like that as well it seems it isn’t getting enough exercise


    • Amy Vansant

      Oh believe me, he gets plenty of exercise. And I’m sure we didn’t do EVERYTHING right when it comes to training, but I can tell you if anyone was to come back as Gordon in their next life, they would be pretty darn happy about it!


  3. Hailey

    A little advice for next time (or with any other training you do): Never give a treat every time the dog does what you want him to do. This same principle can be applied to children or anyone else. My mom learned this lesson the hard way when training our dogs, who refused to come inside after playing in the yard unless they got a treat. Yeah, it was ridiculous. Anyways, give a treat the first couple times, but then don’t for a few times. After that, give a treat sporadically, don’t do it every other time or every third time. Switch it up so they don’t know whether to expect it or not.


  4. David

    Something else you may want to try…

    Whenever you give your dog a treat for anything, hold it in your cupped hand. From the dog’s perspective, all he can see if the bottom of your hand, not what is inside the cup.

    When Gordon drops the paper (dont give him the treat until he drops it) lower your hand down so that he can take the treat out of the palm of your hand.

    It may take a few times before he realizes a cupped hand means cookie, but once he does, it comes in handy on those occasions where you dont have a cookie. Just make sure you dont show the cupped hand without a cookie until he has learned to associate cupped hand with cookie.


  5. Catherine

    Funny story! I have two Labradoodles and they have the same thought process.


  6. Monica


    Thanks for the laughs! The part about your husband not getting the morning paper was too funny! My hubby gets up at 6 am every day with our dog to feed him and get the paper. So sorry to hear that your hubby doesn’t!


  7. Amy Vansant

    Ah, but my husband is really helpful keeping the house clean, and I’ve always got Gordon for the paper! (and I get up at 5am anyway. 🙂 )


  8. Claudia

    This is such a funny post! My husband gets the paper…except all he does is throw it somewhere into the garage. Somehow it conveniently ends up behind the tire of my daughter’s car, so every time she goes somewhere she’ll run over it. I’ve seen it happen many times…I do have a dog though, maybe I should teach him to get it!


  9. loudlyshy

    …well now I’m embarrassed that I read this after I asked if you’d taught your dog to get the paper. I can’t stop laughing. I wish my dog was as hilarious as yours. I’ve trained her that things happen when /I/ damn well please and not when she does, through a series of ignoring her a lot, so now she doesn’t do anything cute like stare at me for an hour so I can take funny photos of her. Goddammit.

    Man, I am going to backread ALL of your posts. They’re hilarious. I will try not to keep commenting on 5 year old posts though.


  10. Amy Vansant

    Oh comment away! The old posts get lonely and start bitching and moaning about the new posts otherwise…


  11. Nelson

    Haha, that is so funny, especially the part where Gordon wrestles with the newspaper. Probably he is sulking. I wish I have a dog. I guess it’ll be less lonely to have a dog. But after reading this, hmmm, maybe I won’t train it to fetch newspaper. Ha! A Siberian Husky would be nice. Oh, I got to this post from your twitter, just for the record. 🙂


  12. Carrie

    Dying. Just dying. My four are not particularly trained to do anything so cool. They do however have me trained to do anything they sat