Email This Post HomeHumorWhy you should always dress up a little & tons of books deals Amy Vansant September 27, 2017 Humor 8 Comments Not my photo, but this is what I saw. My Great Timing So yesterday realized the dog had to go to the bathroom and we hadn’t walked. Gordon could just poop out back (Gordon’s the dog, not my husband, just to be clear), but ever since we started daily walks, now he holds his poop, like it’s a special poop party we throw just for him every morning. I work at home, so I don’t wear actual, thoughtful outfits very often. On this day, I’m wearing an over-sized, black tee shirt and terrible ratty sweat shorts. My hair looks like birds are nesting in it. No makeup. But I think, what the heck — I’ll run Gordon to the island where he likes to do his business and bolt back. The neighbors are pretty used to seeing me look like a homeless person. What could go wrong? Gordon does his thing, and then wraps the leash around my legs as I bend to pick up the poop. I’m wrestling with the plastic poop bag, practically falling over, hair in my face, butt it ratty shorts pointed at the road that enters our neighborhood as I stoop… I hear a car coming and glance back to ensure my baby is safely on the island… and that’s when I see WHAT car is passing me. An Apple Maps truck with a big camera on top recording everything it passes. So that image of me, wrestling with poop, tangled in a dog leash, looking like a drug rehab before photo… will be on Apple Maps FOREVER. People will say: “hey let’s do the live view walk into this neighborhood on Apple Maps and —GAH! What is THAT??!” Nice timing. Remember that the next time you want to sneak out of the house! A Fun New Way to Share Books with Friends and Family! Try the Bookship App! FREE! A neat new reading share experience from my buddy Mark at The Hawaii Project book site! Bookship is a social reading app that lets you share your reading experiences with your family, friends and co-workers. Invite people to read along, whether they’re reading via a physical book, ebook, even an audiobook. Share thoughts, photos, quotes and links, all in an easy-to-use chat-style interface. Get notified when others post and dog-ear passages with a quick photo on your phone. Download for iOS and Android here: https://www.bookshipapp.com. (It’s free!) TONS OF BOOK DEALS! Myrtle Grove Garden Club Mystery Series, Box Set: Books 1-3 – 99c! Welcome to Myrtle Grove, a small town nestled in the lake country of Oklahoma, where life revolves around friendship, family and Sunday dinner, and no one seems to have noticed the recent rise in the local murder rate. The founding members of the Myrtle Grove Garden Club are Jesse Camden and her mother, Sophia, who are co-owners of the Gilded Lily Tea Room and Coffee House, along with Vivian Windsor, who is Myrtle Grove’s resident oil heiress and a lifelong friend of the Camden ladies. Bonus: Recipes included in each book. Hurry! Sale Ending Soon! 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Join the romantic realm of the Immortal Highlanders by picking up a copy of this book today. Mudflat Magic 1,2,3 Usual price $7.99 – $5.99 thru Sept. Here are the first three Mudflat Magic novels in one volume, Tyrant Trouble; Welcome to Mayhem, Baby; Barbarian Toy Boy. “…Mudflat series is a supernatural comic romp full of non-stop action, fantastic characters and a hero you’ll love…” RT Book Reviews Start Date: 09-20-2017End Date: 10-31-2017 Murder by Monday By Clay Boutwell Usual Price: .99 Sale: FREE A childhood nemesis. A threat seemingly from beyond the grave. Murder by Monday… A mysterious letter sends Carl Brooke and Rutherford Nordlinger to the aid of a man who, accused of murder, is now threatened by the man he is said to have killed. Get it FREE! |BookFunnel Start Date: 09-26-2017End Date: 10-03-2017 Angels & Vixens By Kim Petersen Usual Price: 3.99 Sale: .99 Her love has no limits. His vengeance knows no bounds. With her brother Ace dangerously lurking in her dreams, Millie finds herself captive in a delicately woven love-triangle between past desires and her faithful fiancee. Amazon Start Date: 09-26-2017End Date: 09-28-2017 Destiny Be Damned (Last Hope #3) By Rebecca Royce Usual Price: 4.99 Sale: New Release It is the end of days… With no memory of how she left one existence for another, Mika spends her days serving those who need her without the benefit of guards. Unlike her fellow Sisters she was never in love with any of those who ever worked with her. Amazon |Kobo Link Start Date: 09-27-2017End Date: 09-30-2017 Blue Hydrangeas, an Alzheimer’s love story By Marianne Sciucco Usual Price: 2.99 Sale: .99 What if the person who knew you best and loved you must forgot your face, and couldn’t remember your name? Retired Cape Cod innkeepers struggle with Alzheimer’s. A poignant, beautiful love story. Amazon This AuthorsXP.com giveaway is running until Monday! Win Amazon Gift Cards! Each week I give away $20 gift certificates to readers for following authors on BookBub, Amazon, etc! About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Earn Gifts by helping me grow, giveaways and book deals - November 28, 2018 Win a Kindle, Poltergeists and Book Deals… - November 21, 2018 Where being hard-headed and cooking doesn’t mix… giveaways and deals - November 15, 2018 8 Responses Joanne Kocourek September 27, 2017 I love this post. Given we have three dogs and the youngest is a Yellow Lab/Great Dane with boundless energy who loves to sniff the ground and take me (or hubby) on a journey, I can completely picture this! 2 likes Reply KAREN TOOLE September 27, 2017 OMG. Having a dog and always home I sooooo get it about dressing down and going out saying ah heck no one will see me. I went to a local food store and I’m checking out and I hear, loudly, Dr. Toole, Dr.T, Dr. T and As this is going on I’m trying desperately to ignore what’s going on. Just as I gt to the cashier, he shows up and says , i was calling you, I had a question about out assignment. And then, you sure do look different out of class. So I truly empathize with you Amy, But also will look for you the next update. 0 likes Reply Dr Karen Toole September 27, 2017 OMG. Having a dog and always home I sooooo get it about dressing down and going out saying ah heck no one will see me. I went to a local food store and I’m checking out and I hear, loudly, Dr. Toole, Dr.T, Dr. T and As this is going on I’m trying desperately to ignore what’s going on. Just as I gt to the cashier, he shows up and says , i was calling you, I had a question about out assignment. And then, you sure do look different out of class. So I truly empathize with you Amy, But also will look for you the next update. Add your Twitter: KAREN 0 likes Reply Judy Harding September 27, 2017 I had a similar experience. I was babysitting my “grandchildren” while my daughter was on vacation. So, in my ignorance, I take three dogs (relatively small) with leashes and two black cats without leashes (they were not invited to attend the walk) on the grand tour of the neighborhood. I was in the middle of looking my worst including hair, clothing etc and we stopped to attend to business, All three dogs are attempting to discover separate distant countries, I am trying to pick up said business with the cats gleefully romping thru the whole expedition when Tiny decides that the poop bag is terrifying and starts to back up which led to her slipping the harness. I then had a dilemma of epic size, We were just off a busy street. To my knowledge I was not filmed trying to corral Tiny while dragging Archie and Ollie all the while trying to stop the cats from entangling everyone but that was pretty much the best thing I can say about the adventure. As hilarious as I am sure I was I managed to make it home with all five grandchildren intact. I made changes to the neighborhood tours after that. Your tale did make me feel slightly better. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 28, 2017 You’re like a walking zoo! 0 likes Reply Janet Graham September 27, 2017 That’s why I have a yard…….. Living the Double Wide Dream in Colorado! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant September 28, 2017 I have a yard – we just made the mistake of walking him and now he hold it waiting for the joy of the walk poop! 0 likes Reply Nicholas Rossis September 29, 2017 Lol – great post, and awesome deals. Thank you, Amy! I’m looking forward to seeing you in Apple Maps 😀 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!