Email This Post HomeHumorWin Fantasy eBooks…And an ugly toe. Amy Vansant July 12, 2016 Humor, Women's Humor 14 Comments First, hello to all the cozy mystery lovers who entered my cozy mystery giveaway! I have a bunch of exciting stuff coming up for you (and my regular people) soon (including more free books for all and a chance to name something in my next novel!) For now, I have yet another chance for you all to win a bunch of free Kindle books! Enter! I realize cozy lovers aren’t necessarily fantasy readers, but hey, free is free, right? And maybe you can share the contest with some weird friends of yours who are always talking about dragons. My novel, Angeli, is one of the prizes, and it’s exciting and funny in addition to being weird. I promise. Win up to SEVEN Fantasy eBooks! (2) Grand Prize Kindle “Gift Baskets” of ALL SEVEN FANTASY eBOOKs! (9) Winners of Individual Books (randomly selected titles) Plus a special bonus chance to win! [Tweet “Win up to SEVEN free Fantasy/Urban Fantasy ebooks! http://www.authorsxp.com/fantasy-giveaway”] Second, you should know my husband Mike is not doing well since his ordeal with the creepy crawly in the bathroom. Seems he smashed his toe against the table. Not long after, the nail turned this color. Pretty, huh? This immediately sent him spinning, and it took me a while to talk him down from the belief that he would soon lose his entire leg. I’ve lost about ten fingernails over the course of my life (I have a tendency to put them in doors) and assured him we wouldn’t need to amputate but… you know Mike. It’s a little like: This is the same guy who freaked out the other night when a moth flew at him. He swung wildly at it, and smacked himself in the family jewels so hard he nearly fell down. It’s a little like being married to a cartoon. The toe is white again (I’ll spare you the picture, but if you like, imagine the nails of any of the extras on The Walking Dead.) The nail is, of course, white again because it has separated from the blood blister beneath it. (a.k.a. It’s about to fall off.) I’m trying to prepare Mike for the worst, but he’s given up on life. Says if it falls off he’s staying in bed with his foot elevated until it has completely grown back. He’s asked to be sedated for the duration as well. Maybe I can have Gordon talk some sense into him. He’s a certified therapist, after all. About Latest Posts Amy VansantAmy Vansant is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author specializing in fun, funny fiction --- even the murder mysteries. Latest posts by Amy Vansant (see all) Teach Your Dog to Talk, Win a Kindle, Deals & Steals - November 7, 2019 Winners of the Name the Skull Contest, Book Giveaways & Deals - October 29, 2019 The Vultures Show Up, Cool Furniture – Book Giveaways and Deals - October 15, 2019 14 Responses Linda Moffitt July 12, 2016 Awe I think I Luff-Uff him LOL Tell him, My son who was 9 at the time it happened, lost his toenail and he was still able to function and walk even LOL. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2016 I’m sure your 9 year old son is much braver! 0 likes Reply Linda Moffitt July 12, 2016 LOL I’ll tell him he’ll feel Very Brave then LOL 0 likes Jackie Weger July 12, 2016 Tales or nails from the crypt…so funny.. had the humor with coffee. shared. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2016 Thank you!! 0 likes Reply Leigh July 12, 2016 Oh– I thought by the title of the email we might actually *win* the ugly toe! Bummer. Any chance you’ll add that to the mix in the likely event that it does fall off? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2016 I did that on purpose because I figured, who WOULDN’T want to win an ugly toe. If you like, when it falls off, I can mail it to you. 🙂 0 likes Reply Karin July 12, 2016 I also have an ugly toe. The new nail grew up OVER part of the old one!!! I don’t want to scare Mike any more than he is. So…. 0 likes Reply LINDA B/ HOTCHA1 July 12, 2016 OH I WANT THIS! GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 12, 2016 OMG. If I tell him that he’ll be in corner rocking back and forth… 0 likes Reply Jackie July 13, 2016 LOL Your husband is a riot! I couldn’t stop laughing. Men sure are babies when hurt or sick. 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 13, 2016 He’s pretty special! 🙂 0 likes Reply Madeenamerren July 20, 2016 Did the seven book contest end? 0 likes Reply Amy Vansant July 20, 2016 It did – there will be another 10 book Mystery giveaway though starting July 22nd. I’ll post it! 0 likes Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Add me to Amy Vansant's Humor Newsletter!