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Win Fantasy eBooks…And an ugly toe.

Amy Vansant
Humor, Women's Humor
14 Comments

First, hello to all the cozy mystery lovers who entered my cozy mystery giveaway!

I have a bunch of exciting stuff coming up for you (and my regular people) soon (including more free books for all and a chance to name something in my next novel!)

For now, I have yet another chance for you all to win a bunch of free Kindle books! Enter! I realize cozy lovers aren’t necessarily fantasy readers, but hey, free is free, right? And maybe you can share the contest with some weird friends of yours who are always talking about dragons. My novel, Angeli, is one of the prizes, and it’s exciting and funny in addition to being weird. I promise.

Win up to SEVEN Fantasy eBooks!

(2) Grand Prize Kindle “Gift Baskets” of ALL SEVEN FANTASY eBOOKs!

(9) Winners of Individual Books (randomly selected titles)

Plus a special bonus chance to win!

[Tweet “Win up to SEVEN free Fantasy/Urban Fantasy ebooks! http://www.authorsxp.com/fantasy-giveaway”]

toeSecond, you should know my husband Mike is not doing well since his ordeal with the creepy crawly in the bathroom. Seems he smashed his toe against the table. Not long after, the nail turned this color.

Pretty, huh?

This immediately sent him spinning, and it took me a while to talk him down from the belief that he would soon lose his entire leg. I’ve lost about ten fingernails over the course of my life (I have a tendency to put them in doors) and assured him we wouldn’t need to amputate but… you know Mike. It’s a little like:

This is the same guy who freaked out the other night when a moth flew at him. He swung wildly at it, and smacked himself in the family jewels so hard he nearly fell down.

seriousgordonIt’s a little like being married to a cartoon.

The toe is white again (I’ll spare you the picture, but if you like, imagine the nails of any of the extras on The Walking Dead.)

The nail is, of course, white again because it has separated from the blood blister beneath it. (a.k.a. It’s about to fall off.)  I’m trying to prepare Mike for the worst, but he’s given up on life. Says if it falls off he’s staying in bed with his foot elevated until it has completely grown back. He’s asked to be sedated for the duration as well.

Maybe I can have Gordon talk some sense into him. He’s a certified therapist, after all.

Amy Vansant
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14 Responses

  1. Linda Moffitt

    Awe I think I Luff-Uff him LOL Tell him, My son who was 9 at the time it happened, lost his toenail and he was still able to function and walk even LOL.

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  3. Leigh

    Oh– I thought by the title of the email we might actually *win* the ugly toe! Bummer. Any chance you’ll add that to the mix in the likely event that it does fall off?

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    • Amy Vansant

      I did that on purpose because I figured, who WOULDN’T want to win an ugly toe. If you like, when it falls off, I can mail it to you. 🙂

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  4. Karin

    I also have an ugly toe. The new nail grew up OVER part of the old one!!! I don’t want to scare Mike any more than he is. So….

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  6. Jackie

    LOL Your husband is a riot! I couldn’t stop laughing. Men sure are babies when hurt or sick.

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